Self-help articles on the internet really fucking suck.
Sometimes I have a problem, and sometimes I turn to good ol’ Google for possible solutions to that problem....
How NOT to Halloween
Every October 31st it’s the same shit. A bunch of screaming brats and their slow-witted parents go door-to-door demanding free candy like a bunch of...
How to actually respond to an active shooter situation
Back in June some jihadi jackass walked into a gay club in Orlando and killed 50 people. Not content with simply fucking goats and making...
“White supremacy” is fucking stupid
Hey asshole, being white doesn’t make you any less of a cunt....
You know you’re a 90’s kid when you won’t shut the fuck up about it
I am a 90’s kid. I grew up watching “Rugrats”, “Street Sharks”, “All That”, “The Amanda Show”, and “Power Rangers”. I collected pogs, played with...
Rage against the road
A few articles back, I wrote about Slowskis, a plague that blights America’s roadways....
Your shitty memory doesn’t mean reality changed, asshole
Remember when Nelson Mandela died in prison back in the 80’s? Or Billy Graham’s funeral? Or that time when Jerry Lewis died?...
I hate slowskis
You all know what a Slowski is. No, I’m not talking about the turtles from that Comcast commercial (Christ bro the spelling is even different...
Your shitty tattoo isn’t “artistic expression”
A disturbing new trend has emerged in America: Everywhere I go, I’m surrounded by skanky-looking women with the same ugly bland tattoos. The butterfly on...
Thanks for the advice asshole, now fuck off
And according to several eye-witnesses and most likely the police after I fled the scene, I was the asshole. Because when someone runs in...
Philadelphia’s new curfew
Here in the great trashcan known as Filthadumpia, we’ve been having a slight problem with so-called “flash mobs“. Groups of uppity black youngsters are gathering...
You’re here, you’re queer, now shut the hell up
I hate when people try to throw their beliefs in my face. You’ve got an opinion on something? Great, I’ll be more than happy to...
My friend’s 7 year old sister is the greatest troll to ever live
The other day, I was hanging out at Rotten Tom’s house drinking and calling everyone else who isn’t me a bunch of faggots like I...
Free speech is a double-edged sword
The Supreme Court has ruled 8-1 that the Westboro Baptist Church has the right to protest at the funerals of dead soldiers. Everyone is up...
Lone retard goes postal, we all pay. Again.
Jared Loughner, you are without doubt the biggest fucking faggot in the entire state of Arizona. Your actions were complete fucking bullshit, and I hope...