What is AJnet Magazine?

AJnet Magazine is an online publication dedicated to overthrowing the Illuminati and taking control of the world for ourselves.

We’re really not sure exactly how to do that, so we’ve opted to be a humor and opinion-based internet publication instead. Our staff has it made it their mission to bring you (yes, YOU!) only the best content, made in-house and delivered directly to your digital doorstep. Whether it be social commentary from Angry_Jerk, advice from Señor Juan, the drunken musings of Frosty Mugg, a scathing rant by our resident AI R.A.N.T.E.R., or something by someone else on the staff (maybe someone we haven’t even hired yet as of this writing), AJnet Magazine has something for everyone. We also have operatives all over the world in various places and positions, but we haven’t quite figured out what we’re going to do with them just yet, so you probably shouldn’t concern yourself with them too much.

For a more detailed look at AJnet Magazine’s writing team, see our “Staff” page.


AJnet: A Brief History

It all started as a really bad joke.

In the year of 2007, an angry young man by the name of Angry_Jerk decided that he wanted to declare war on the entire world and prove a point at the same time. That point was that freedom of speech was only an illusion, and Americans were slowly losing their rights to large corporations and special interest groups who were hellbent on censoring the internet. How was AJ going to prove that point exactly? By purposely publishing inflammatory content on his own personal website, named “AngryJerk.net“, until a regulatory body (particularly, the United Nations) stepped in and forced him to close the site down. AJ’s plan to test the boundaries of free speech wasn’t exactly the most sensible or mature idea, and his blind vitriol was mostly fueled by hard liquor and extenuating circumstances in his personal life.

It was during this time that AJ would meet future AJnet advice columnist Señor Juan. Juan, a Mexican immigrant who was in America illegally at the time, was hired by AJ to perform mundane tasks such as dressing up like a ninja for article pictures, trolling internet forums, and slashing the tires of AJ’s annoying neighbors. The two slowly developed a friendship, and years later AJ would not only help Juan become a legal American citizen, but also help Juan’s family members become legal American citizens as well.

Thankfully, AJ’s goal of goading the powers-that-be into forcibly silencing him failed miserably, and in 2010 he ultimately gave up on writing purposely-inflammatory articles and instead attempted to focus his rage on things that actually made him angry. This too met failure, mostly thanks to AJ’s excessive partying and drinking. In 2012 the articles slowed to a trickle, and by 2013 the site was pretty much dead after AJ went on a year-long bender.

From 2014 through 2022, AJ updated sporadically. During this time, he became obsessed with “legitimizing” the website. AJ began reading up on things like “SEO”, “Google Ranking”, and “Social Media Management”. He was so obsessed with these things that writing new articles became a tedious chore. On top of that, AJ was finding it hard to balance running the website, building a global network of unwitting clandestine operatives, working an exhausting job as a deli manager, and trying to launch a streaming career on Twitch. Not to mention that he was getting older and less angry. New articles became fewer and farther between, and for all intents and purposes the site was basically on life support, begging for AJ to pull the plug and end its suffering.

Then, in 2023, things changed.

Exactly what changed? Perhaps it was AJ’s new job. Perhaps it was the fact that AJ cut back drastically on his drinking. Perhaps it was intervention by the gods themselves in the form of a divine spark. Nobody was sure what it was, even AJ himself had no idea. But the way forward immediately became clear. With the bottled-up fury of 10 years suddenly uncorked, AJ began writing like he never wrote before. Enlisting the help of Señor Juan and local alcoholic Frosty Mugg (who AJ met through Juan back in 2017), AJ resumed creating content for his website. Slowly but surely, he would build the site back better and stronger than ever, under the new banner of AJnet Magazine.

What does the future hold for AJnet? We’re not sure, but we recommend you read this website with sunglasses on, because it’s looking pretty bright.