Global warming is a bad thing, right? WRONG!
A big old Texas howdy readers, I’m Alex Jonestown, proprietor of the Truth™ and enemy of The Powers That Be.
For years now the talking media heads have been terrorizing us with the threat of global warming. They’re telling us that our big blue marble we call Earth is getting hotter, it’s all our fault, and we can only stop global warming by giving up things like eating meat and driving our cars.
Readers, if there’s one thing Jonesy has learned during his 50 years in this world, it’s that when the media tells us something is true, it’s not.
So when the media, the politicians, and everyone else started promoting their agenda to “fight global warming”, you can bet your sweet little ass that I went looking for the Truth™. What I found was so shocking, so disturbing, that I almost didn’t want to share it with you. But unlike those lying media mouthpieces, I believe it’s my duty as an American and a Texan to deliver you the Truth™, no matter how inconvenient, unpleasant, or downright scary it may be. The Truth™ doesn’t care about your feelings, it doesn’t care about your preconceived notions and expectations. The Truth™ is an unmovable unshakable pillar, standing tall and proud like a mighty oak tree. The Powers That Be are always trying to cut that tree down, but the Truth™ will never fall!
The Truth™ is, global warming is going to save us all!
That’s right Troopers, global warming isn’t going to destroy the planet, it’s going to save it!
“Now hold on just a damn minute there Jonesy,” you’re saying, “How in the hell is melting the ice caps and polluting the environment going to save us?”
While I was searching out the Truth™ about global warming, I came across some very disturbing information. Readers, put your helmet on and head for that basement, because I’m about to drop another atomic Truth™ bomb!
Frost giants are real, and they’re trying to take over the Earth!
Now I know how that sounds, Troopers. It sounds batshit crazy. You probably think ol’ Jonesy has lost it, that I’m out of my goddamn mind sitting here telling you that frost giants are real and they’re trying to take over the world.
I won’t sugarcoat it for you readers, I actually thought the same thing when my good friend and fellow freedom fighter David Thicke turned me on to the Truth™ about the frost giants and global warming. David has been a great friend and a terrific ally in the war against The Powers That Be and the search for the Truth™. But when he said “Alex, you know those frost giants from Norse mythology? Well they’re real, and they’re trying to conquer our planet.”, I was more than skeptical. Then David laid it out for me.
“There’s these aliens,” David told me, “and they come from a planet in the star system Pleiades. Big fellows, blonde hair and blue eyes. We call them the Nordics but of course they’re not really Scandinavian, that’s just how they look.”
Aliens that look like humans? Just what in the hell is going on here? David saw the look of confusion on this handsome Texan face and explained it further for me.
“They don’t really look like humans, that’s just a trick they play. The Norse knew about this, they fought wars against these aliens. They can shapeshift just enough to hide their true features and trick us into thinking they’re human too. Why do you think Loki was the Norse god of trickery and deception? It’s all right there in Norse mythology, the Nordic aliens from Pleiades are actually the frost giants from Niflheim.”
I wasn’t quite ready to buy what David was selling. He went on to explain that the frost giants have been visiting Earth for some time.
“They’ve been here since recorded history. They’re even there in the Holy Bible as the fallen angels, the Nephilim. Niflheim, Nephilim? That’s not a coincidence, is it Alex?”
David went on and explained to me that the frost giants remained in contact with humans even as recent as last century.
“They were helping the Nazis to win the war,” David told me. “The Vril, they called them. Why do you think Hitler’s vision of perfection was blonde hair and blue eyes? The Nazis agreed to work with the frost giants in exchange for advances in rocketry and other such things.”
It didn’t end there, according to David. Years later an entire battle between the US military and the frost giants was fought in Antarctica.
“Operation Highjump, they called it. When the war ended, Admiral Byrd went down there, down to Antarctica. The official story we were told was that bit about training to fight in cold conditions. But that wasn’t true, now was it? They could have done this in Alaska or even up in the Yukon, up there in Canada. But they didn’t, they did it in Antarctica. That’s because the Nazis and the frost giants, the so-called Vril, had bases down there. So the United States Navy goes down there to get rid of those bases, and the frost giants, well, they push back with this advanced technology like flying disks and energy weapons. They tell the admiral ‘You need to leave. We’ll leave you alone, but you’ve gotta leave us alone’. So the Navy withdraws, and the world agrees not to militarize Antarctica.”
I told David, “Dave, that’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard in my goddamn life. What does any of that have to do with global warming?”
David smiled. “Well Alex, they’re the frost giants, aren’t they? They don’t like it warm.”
Nazis and aliens in Antarctica? David Thicke may have been telling the truth, but was he telling the Truth™? I couldn’t rely on his words alone, I had to do some of my own legwork and get to the bottom of things.
I dove right into that glorious source of information called the internet and began swimming around looking for more information on these “Nordic aliens” and frost giants. Now, I’m no welterweight, I can hold my own in the battle for the Truth™, but what I found was like a knockout punch. I was absolutely floored.
Report after report from alien abductees described “tall, blonde aliens with blue eyes”. Often the encounters would include the abductee being given an environmentalist warning about polluting the Earth or using nuclear weapons. After reading these various accounts, there was no doubt in my mind that something was happening here. What were these “Nordics” up to? Why did they want us to stop polluting the environment and get rid of our nuclear weapons?
I don’t know about you readers, but Momma Jonestown didn’t raise this here proud little Texan to blindly trust strangers. These Nordics were spouting off this message of so-called “peace and love”, but what were they really after?
That’s when I figured it out.
The Nordics want to stop global warming because they want the Earth to be cold so they can live here.
The Nordics were coming down here pretending to be our friends so they could stick an icy dagger right in our backs later! Their plea for nuclear disarmament was an attempt to leave us defenseless against their assault. Humanity’s ability to split the atom, the very essence of creation itself, threatens the Nordics.
The frost giants are real, they’re here, and they’re trying to destroy us all and cool the world down so they can move in and claim it for themselves. What’s worse, they’re convincing us to do it for them with a disinformation campaign preaching the evils of global warming.
You’re crying to me, “Oh no, Jonesy! How can we save ourselves from these aliens that have infiltrated our planet and are trying to kill us all?”
Fight back with the power of the Truth™!
Troopers, when someone tries to sell me something that’s bad for me, I tell them no. The Nordic aliens are trying to sell you your own demise in the form of expensive electric cars and eating plants and bugs instead of meat. Tell them no! You tell those blonde hair blue-eyed bastards “No, I will NOT drive your electric cars, I will NOT eat grass and bugs, and I’m not going to help you freeze the world over and destroy the human race! I’m going to drive my Ford pickup and grill my steak like a real American!” Don’t buy the global warming lie!
Just like the mighty Thor, we will bring the hammer of Truth™ down upon the Nordic “frost giants” and The Powers That Be who collaborate with them!