Hola amigos, it is your pal Señor Juan!

In July Juan ask AJ do two Dear Juan article in month. AJ say no that is too much right now but maybe do two Dear Juan article in one month later. Juan see AJ do new article Reddit Revue and say “That is fine AJ I do Reddit Revue article instead por favor”. AJ say yes Juan that is fine and Juan go to Reddit Advice and give advice to gringo with problem.

Juan and Mi Hermano Rico at bodega drinking beer and talking about good old days. Mi Hermano Rico say “ey Juan remember you do funny article Trolled and go to viking forum hahaha that was funny why you no do more”. Juan tell Mi Hermano Rico yes that is good idea and call AJ and tell him Juan do new Trolled article and go to Arthur’s Hall website again. AJ say “No Juan remember Arthur’s Hall no exist anymore”. Juan remember but then Juan say “That is fine I do Reddit Revue article instead and go to Reddit place for manliness just like Arthur’s Hall”. AJ tell Juan good luck there is no real man on Reddit.

Juan go on Reddit website and find Ask Men what in the hell AJ say there no real man on Reddit but Juan find Ask Men so AJ is wrong and Juan show you now in Reddit Revue article.

Juan reach out to ex for sex why you think pendejo


You no listen to gringa Beyonce song Hit Them Up Style? woman steal money when she get angry that is why you no use same bank account


This stupid question why you ask this


You no go to Tijuana amigo you go to Tijuana and you see yes sex is transaction


Juan hear rumor that he have big dick and have sex with many señorita no spread rumor about Juan por favor


Why you hit on girl who no look good Juan think that is why dick no get hard


No have sex with woman sister holy shit no do this Juan have sex with woman sister and woman kick Juan in dick very hard Juan no walk right two week


Boohoo why you cry about carry bathtub up ladder. You no stupid you lazy. Real man do what it take to get job done no matter what. Juan and Mi Hermano Rico buy couch but it no fit in door Mi Hermano Rico say “I have idea Juanito” and make big ramp pull couch through window on second floor. Juan and Mi Hermano Rico no make excuse you no make excuse gringo.


Juan regret have sex with señorita and su padre come home and catch Juan and say “ey cabrón what you do with mi hija I fucking kill you punk”. Juan no run fast but Juan run very quick then.


Juan no listen to world. World say “ey Juan you no good enough” Juan say “go fuck yourself” and put on headphones and blast badass heavy metal band Iron Maiden or Metallica. You do this too no care what world say.


Juan choose both and no tell other. It end when Mi Hermano Rico come home drunk and say “Oh look Juanito have new girlfriend now what happen to other girl”.


Juan see post and think he go to Reddit Video Game. Juan look again and see still at Ask Men. Why you ask question about video game stupid idiot Ask Men about being man not video game.


Salma Hayek most influential woman in Juan life holy shit Salma have very big chichis Juan get lost in those Juan call her mommy if you know what I mean


Put hot naked woman in romance novel you put hot naked woman in romance novel Juan read


Yes Señor Marcus right. You listen to Señor Marcus go outside and talk to girl no play video game all day you get girlfriend it is very easy Juan do it every day.


Why you ask this get new job stupid idiot. Why gringo no want to work? Gringo say “I no find job it is very hard” but gringo really say “I lazy I no want to work”. Juan come to America in 2004 and find many job when he no citizen why gringo citizen no find job?

Job fire you go find new job pendejo.


Holy shit why everyone on Reddit Ask Men stupid idiot you no read newspaper and watch TV? Juan think website really Reddit Stupid Idiot.


This get many reply because many people Reddit Ask Men stupid idiot.


Juan think you gay. That is fine but you no try kiss Juan. you try kiss Juan I hit you.


Juan go to Reddit Ask Men think he find real man and read many bad ass story about strong man who beat up other strong man and have sex with many señorita. Instead Juan find stupid idiot who ask many stupid question and talk about video game and say “How I talk to girl señor help me por favor”. Juan know how to talk to girl it is very easy you open mouth and talk stupid fucking idiot.

You want real answer to question you no ask Reddit website you come to AJnet website instead and ask Juan. You send Juan many question Juan give you advice fuck stupid idiot Reddit Ask Men no ask them ask Juan instead.

Adios amigos.

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By Señor Juan

AJ’s oldest friend and AJnet’s resident advice columnist, Señor Juan has been an AJnet Staff member since 2008, when AJ first hired him to pose for a picture and slash a neighbor’s tires. Since then Juan has been a valued member of the team, earning his American citizenship, piloting the AJnet Huey, and keeping Frosty from getting too carried away. His soothing stories, alleviating anecdotes, and ability to smile in even the most perilous of situations help others find the reassurance they need during troubling and trying times.