Hola amigos! Señor Juan is here with more advice!
After Juan post last article, many people want to know about Mi Hermano Rico and if he okay. Juan give update.
At end of April Mi Hermano Rico get shot in leg by bad man who try to take wallet. He go to hospital and doctor remove bullet so leg no get infected. Doctor say Mi Hermano Rico walk again but he use cane and go to rehab. Juan agree that Mi Hermano Rico go to rehab because he drink too much and that what get him in trouble in first place, but doctor say no he go to other rehab to make leg strong again. Mi Hermano Rico say he no afford special gringo therapy, but AJ say he make phone call to AJnet operative and get Mi Hermano Rico help. Juan no sure what that mean but AJ give phone to Mi Hermano Rico and he set up appointment with rich gringo leg therapy and no pay anything because gringo leg therapy person know AJ. Juan and Mi Hermano Rico thank AJ, but all AJ say is he have operative everywhere. Juan very confused but Mi Hermano Rico get help he need to walk again so that is good. Mi Hermano Rico say he walk again at end of next month and Juan no have to keep work at Uncle Paco taco and shirt shop so that is good too.
Juan check email and find person need help with person at work who no stop singing.
Dear Juan,
I work in a small room with one other person doing clerical work. It’s an easy job and the pay is alright, but there’s just one problem: My coworker won’t stop singing!
All day long from the beginning of our shift to the end of it, this guy does nothing but sing at the top of his lungs. And it’s not like he’s singing full songs. No, this guy will sing the same one or two lines from a song over and over again! Sometimes he changes things up and works in the name of another one of our coworkers too. I can only hear “SCOTT WEARS HIGH HEELS, I WEAR SNEAKERS” so many times before it gets under my skin, Juan!
When he’s not singing, he’s babbling random stuff to himself. The guy will babble some completely random that has nothing to do with anything, then laugh like Krusty the Clown from The Simpsons. I’m not sure what to make of it. Maybe this guy isn’t all there? I don’t know! I know that it’s very annoying though!
I tried wearing headphones, and everything was fine for a little bit until one day my boss poked his head into the room and tried to tell me something, but I couldn’t hear him over my headphones. Now I’m not allowed to wear them anymore, and I’m stuck listening to my coworker’s obnoxious and off-key singing.
What should I do, Juan? I don’t want to find a new job, this one is great besides my musical coworker. But I’m at my wits end with these captive concerts! If something doesn’t change soon I’m going to lose my mind, and then we’ll have two crazy babbling lunatics working together!
– Ryan M.
Señor Ryan, Juan understand what you go through.
Long time ago in Ciudad Juárez Juan have job at restaurant washing dishes in kitchen. Juan no make mucho dinero but Juan still young and it no matter. Juan work in small kitchen with two people. One is Big Hernando and other is cook name Jorge. Juan no like Big Hernando because Big Hernando stupid bully but Juan like money so Juan and Big Hernando no fight at work. Juan come in and wash dishes while Big Hernando cut onions and cilantro for taco. Jorge cook food and give to Bonita María to give to many customer. Everyone do job and make money.
Jorge like to sing when he cook. It is okay, there no problem with singing when cook. Jorge like to sing song called “My Way” by gringo singer Frank Sinatra. Juan no hate gringo Frank Sinatra but Juan know he have many song and not just one Jorge sing all day. Juan wonder why Jorge no sing other song and only sing same song all day. Juan listen to Jorge sing same song many days and Juan get angry. One day Jorge sing song and Juan yell at him. “ey pendejo, why you no sing other song?!” Jorge tell Juan his kitchen he sing what he want and no care what Juan think. Juan tell Jorge Juan tired of hearing same song all the time and it very annoying. Jorge say Juan is annoying. Juan go punch Jorge but Big Hernando stop Juan and say no fight. Juan tell Jorge go fuck yourself and quit job.
Juan solve problem by quitting job. Juan read email and see you say you no want to quit job like Juan. That is fine Señor Ryan, Juan help you solve problem with gringo coworker different way.
You say coworker sing very loud. Well there is one way to beat loud person Señor Ryan, and that is to be louder. Coworker like to sing Taylor Swift song, you must sing own song. Juan know many good song to sing but you no sing good song, you must sing very bad song to annoy gringo coworker in same way he annoy you. Juan ask robot R.A.N.T.E.R. to write song about poop and this what R.A.N.T.E.R. give Juan:
Es hora de usar el baño
Ya eres un niño grande
No más pañales para ti
Es hora de decir adiós de una vez
Usa el baño, usa el baño
Es lo que hacen los niños grandes
Usa el baño, usa el baño
Y todos estaremos orgullosos de ti
You read this and say “ey Juan why you give me song in Spanish I no speak Spanish I speak English”. Juan know this and give you song in Spanish on purpose because gringo coworker no speak Spanish either and it annoy him more when he no understand song you sing. If coworker do speak Spanish then he also be annoyed because you sing song about going poop. You sing kid song about go poop in toilet and give coworker taste of own medicine. Also AJ tell Juan no teach R.A.N.T.E.R. robot Spanish so you no tell AJ. (Too late, Juan. You know I read these before I publish them, right? ~AJ)
Juan give you song to sing then read email again and see you no talk to gringo coworker about singing before you write. Juan very confused because first thing Juan do when have problem is talk to person. Why you no ask gringo coworker not to sing all the time? Juan make mistake many year ago when no talk to Jorge before yell at him but you no make same mistake as Juan. Juan know it not always easy to speak up but you must be strong Señor Ryan. You must say to gringo coworker “ey señor you sing too much, I no concentrate on work and gringo boss get mad at us!” But you must say it nice and not yell at coworker like Juan do to Jorge.
Juan see you try wear headphones but gringo boss tell you no wear them. Juan have other idea that make you and coworker both very happy and gringo boss no yell at you. You bring in radio to work instead so you and coworker listen to music together. Coworker no sing Taylor Swift song all time because he listen to other songs now. You bring in bad ass music like heavy metal bands Iron Maiden and Megadeth but you no turn up too loud so you hear when boss come in and talk to you. Juan know it very hard to not turn up heavy metal music but you no turn up too loud or boss tell you no radio too. Juan think this solution is very easy instead of singing kid song in Spanish about going poop.
Señor Ryan, sometimes easy solution is right one. You say coworker crazy person because he sing and talk to self but maybe he sing and talk to self because you no talk to him. Juan wonder how you work in small quiet room all day with person and no talk to them. Maybe you are real problem Señor Ryan. Instead of ignoring coworker you try talk to him instead and listen to radio together and have fun do boring gringo office job.
Best of luck to you amigo.
Do you have a problem and need advice? Ask Juan! Leave a comment below (Disqus account required, it’s free and easy to make one), or send Juan an email at [email protected]!
Angry_Jerk