A highly effective yet overlooked strategy for self- promotion and building brand recognition.

In this day and age where everyone is an influencer or content creator, it’s hard to stand out and get noticed. Sure, you’ve got the creativity and you’ve got the content, but you just can’t get the views. So what’s going on? What’s the problem?

The problem is that most markets for pretty much anything are already oversaturated, especially content creation. The sad fact is, nobody is ever going to notice your YouTube channel or TikTok or your band page or whatever, no matter how much work you put into it. Everyone thinks success requires hard work, but it really doesn’t. Working hard is for suckers. Success is 5% work and 95% luck. All the big names only got to where they were because a) they came around in a time when their market wasn’t oversaturated yet, or b) they had the connections and money to get noticed by the right people. You have neither of those luxuries, so what the hell are you supposed to do?

Be associated with a terrorist attack or a mass-shooting.

Don’t just sit around waiting for Lady Luck and her bff the Fame Fairy to show up and bless you. You want brand recognition? Then you’ve gotta get out there and do something people will recognize and talk about. Every time I turn on the news they’re talking about another terrorist attack or mass shooting. These tragedies never fail to generate buzz. Seriously, the media obsesses over these tragedies. Violence sells, and if you play your cards right it could be selling your brand.

I’m not telling you to go out there and murder innocent people. That would be illegal, and the lawyers tell me that I could end up on the hook for incitement to violence. Do NOT go out and commit crimes!

You’re not going to go out and commit crimes, but there’s a good chance someone else will. You need to find these people before they commit their mass shooting or terrorist attack and turn them on to your brand. Give them swag or get them to offer some other kind of endorsement of your brand. Maybe they’ll mention you in their 500 page manifesto, maybe they’ll be wearing your logo on their shirt when they carry out their attack. If you’re really lucky, maybe they’ll even livestream their rampage and give you a shout-out while hundreds of thousands, if not millions, are watching their massacre unfold live.

Terrorist attacks are a great way to generate buzz around your brand. Remember when 9/11 happened and the news wouldn’t stop talking about Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda? It’s been over 22 years and we’re still talking about it.

Every other week after the attacks Osama would drop a new video threatening America and her allies. This guy knew how to market, he took advantage of a trend and kept the momentum going by generating new content, ensuring that his brand stayed relevant for decades to come. He even inspired another large brand, the Islamic State (ISIS). Osama may be dead but his brand sure isn’t. When we think of Islamic terrorism, we still think of Osama and al-Qaeda. That’s the kind of brand association that most people and organizations would kill for. Just imagine where I’d be right now if Osama had been wearing an AJnet t-shirt in even one of his videos:

 

I’d be doing Taylor Swift numbers at this point. Hell, I’d probably even be doing Taylor Swift:

Photo from an alternate timeline where bin Laden wore my logo on his shirt and made me famous so I was dating Taylor Swift in 2009 when Kanye interrupted her at the VMAs.

Others have used this technique throughout the years. The Columbine shooters were fans of the German industrial band KMFDM (a band that was basically Rammstein before Rammstein came out). Nobody knew who the fuck KMFDM was, but then Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold shot up their school, some manifestos were released that mentioned they were fans of the band, and KMFDM’s popularity surged. Hell, it’s how I first heard about them. Now I’m sitting here listening to “Juke Joint Jezebel” and contemplating if I’m going to go see them when they come to Philly on March 10th. If Harris and Klebold had never shot up Columbine many people would have never heard of this awesome band. Thanks Eric and Dylan for exposing us to good music.

In 2007, Seung-Hui Cho shot up Virginia Tech, killing 32 people and himself. Before that, he mailed off his manifesto to the media. This manifesto included a picture of himself posing with a hammer:

This picture was a reference to a 2003 South Korean film Oldboy. Ever hear of that movie? I sure as hell didn’t. That is, until Cho shot up the school and the pictures were released. Suddenly everyone was dying to check out this “Oldboy” movie that had allegedly inspired one of the deadliest mass shootings in US history. It even received a remake in 2013 by Spike Lee, which nobody cares about because, like all American remakes of Asian films, it fucking sucks. The surge in popularity of Oldboy was a direct result of Cho’s mass shooting. Another obscure property brought into the limelight by a mass-casualty event.

I once had a friend who was trying to get an audience for his work, but nobody would even give him the time of day. This guy was pretty smart though, so he came up with this crazy idea. He made up a bunch of shirts with his name and face on them and donated them to the local homeless population. A few weeks later one of the homeless guys snaps and stabs a bunch of people. The homeless guy gets arrested, and when the news crews are filming the arrest the homeless guy is wearing my friend’s shirt. Suddenly everyone wants to talk to my friend because the crazy homeless guy was wearing his shirt. Who was that friend, you ask? That friend was legendary astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Everyone is so concerned with appealing to the majority that they’ve overlooked the outcasts. If you craft your brand around the possibility that jihadis or some psychotic high schooler will enjoy it, you increase the chance that they’ll reference your brand in some form as they’re committing mass murder. You’re essentially investing time in a smaller demographic in order to draw massive amounts of attention later from the larger demographic. There’s no such thing as bad press, especially when you currently have no press. Hell, jihadis love this website. Just ask Nadeem Bitar, a schizophrenic Muslim who sent me literally hundreds of emails between 2007 and 2015. I’ll be covering Nadeem’s insanity in a later article, but suffice to say there’s a good chance he’ll snap one day and do something crazy. And when he does, his name will be attached to this website, driving more traffic to AJnet. Then I’ll begin publishing the 321 emails I have saved:

Seriously, view the picture at full resolution and look at the top-right corner. I wasn’t bullshitting you guys on this one. Those are only the ones I didn’t delete.

 

Everyone wants brand recognition, but nobody wants to get out there and actually build it. The truth is, if you want to build a brand, you’re going to have to get your hands dirty, and you’re going to have to stand out while you do it. I can think of no better way to stand out than to be attached to a mass-casualty event.

Disclaimer: Please don’t carry out terrorist attacks or mass shootings. At least, not without wearing an AJnet t-shirt or something.

 

REAL DISCLAIMER: Our lawyers have strongly advised us to clarify that this article is not meant to be taken seriously in any way, and to also clarify that the AJnet Organization nor its staff endorse or condone violence, terrorism, or mass murder in any way, shape, or form. This article is meant to serve as social commentary on the media’s glorification of violence and mass-murder. If you’re thinking about committing mass murder, please consider these healthy alternatives instead.

By Angry_Jerk

The CEO/Editor-in-chief of AJnet, and the current king of internet ranting. Hailing from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, AJ has been creating content on the internet for over 15 years. None of it has really been funny or entertaining, but he keeps trying anyway. When he’s not creating new articles for the site, he can be found hitting the weights, watching anime, or playing retro video games.