This month on Reddit Revue: r/AntiWork!

I’ve never been shy about saying it: I hate work.

I think jobs are basically just slavery, and will never agree with a system that forces people to do something they don’t want to do for hours on end every day in order to not only make someone else rich, but to survive. We’re essentially being penalized for being born, something we had no say in.

This is something I’ve written about many times before. My very first article was about how much I hated my job as a bus boy. More recently, I wrote an article eschewing the idea of working hard. I just don’t see the point in busting my ass to make someone else rich when I get nothing extra from doing so.

Unfortunately, the entire world is not going to change the way it works to accommodate my beliefs, so I have to participate in a system that requires me to obtain mass quantities of paper notes with arbitrary value and give those pieces of paper to someone else who already has more than they’ll ever need in several lifetimes. Seriously, the entire thing is really absurd the more you sit there and think about it.

I hate the system we have now, but it’s what we have and for the most part it works better than many of the other systems we’ve had in human history, so I begrudgingly accept my reality.

But within the halls of Reddit lies a group of folks who reject this system to the point of insanity. I’m talking of course about the folks at r/AntiWork.

r/AntiWork is a subreddit with a staunchly anti-capitalist attitude. Which in and of itself isn’t necessarily wrong, since modern capitalism has become a shell of what capitalism was supposed to be. The problem with r/AntiWork lies in the fact that many of them are just self-entitled crybabies who ran to the teats of communism and socialism because they realized life outside their mommy and daddy’s suburban ivory tower isn’t always fair and sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do in order to put food on the table and keep the lights on. The boss asks you to stay late once in a while to get something done? LE CAPITALISM IS HECKIN BAD!!! McDonald’s is only paying you $10 an hour to run the cash register? LE CAPITALISM IS HECKIN BAD!!! Manager wrote you up for calling out “sick” ten times in one month? LE CAPITALISM IS HECKIN BAD!!! You got scolded because you have an “anxiety attack” whenever things get a little busy? Yep, you guessed it: LE CAPITALISM IS HECKIN BAD!!!

I could honestly sit here and write an entire article about these whiners, but I don’t really feel like working too hard so I’m going to just screenshot Reddit posts and let the people at r/AntiWork write this article for me.


I can almost guarantee that this was intentionally taken out of context somehow. No fast food place is letting an employee bring their baby to work, especially Chick-fil-A. Also, she’s not wearing a hair net or hat, and she’s not wearing a uniform either.

This lady is most likely the GM, probably coming up on her day off to run the numbers or something.

 

“I dicked around in school and made poor decisions. Capitalism is to blame.”

 

Your ex-fiancé is the person closest to you?

 

How dare the company install software onto the computers they own to make sure their employees aren’t fucking around on Reddit!

 

Is this your first time on the internet?

 

Remember that Burger King worker I mentioned in my “Working hard is overrated and pointless” article? This is what throwing a big enough pity party gets you.

 

You sound like the kind of person who calls out every time they get the sniffles.

 

Mother of God, we truly are living in a capitalist dystopian nightmare.

 

Now share the one that says “Here lies Jimmy Hoffa.”

 

This is, of course, completely unrelated to any technological advancements made during that time. LE CAPITALISM IS HECKIN BAD!!!

 

When I worked for ShopRite many years ago, I took one of these anonymous surveys. My suggestion was to “Hire more hot chicks”. The company actually listened and hired a bunch of hot chicks. Those hot chicks barely lasted a month because they were terrible at their jobs. Good thing I gave false information when it asked how long I had been working there and what department I was in. Nobody will ever know that terrible idea was mine.

Except for you, the reader. You better not snitch on me. I’m serious. Dead serious.

 

I don’t get it.

 

It’s almost as if passing laws forcing companies to pay their employees more leads to those companies raising their prices to compensate for the lost profit, which in turn leads to people having to work more to afford the rising costs.

 

What if you just ignored it like a rational adult?

 

OP won’t need a coat anymore after that SICK FUCKING BURN

 

Your classmate wasn’t wrong. But I wouldn’t expect someone who identifies as a communist to understand why. Keep crying because someone has a different opinion than you.

 

A teacher cares about his students enough to do one last thing for them before he dies. This clearly highlights the failure of capitalism.

 

Should be labeled the other way, because women are fucking nuts.

 

B-but, I have phone anxiety, so I can’t call you!

 

In completely unrelated news, I’m announcing mass layoffs at AJnet.

 

Most supermarket delis aren’t busy at the end of the night and don’t necessitate multiple employees working the closing shift. There are plenty of reasons to hate Wal-Mart, but this isn’t one of them.

 

Christ dude, read the room.

 

Drink a fifth of rum or vodka every other night and smoke some weed. Not that I would know anything about that or something hahaha

 

Spoken like someone who probably lives at home and is still on their parents’ health insurance.

A fifth of Smirnoff is under $20, and you can get an eighth of weed for like $35-$40 in my area. I stand by my previous suggestion.

 

Being an adult and having real world responsibilities.

 

Huh, it’s almost like one could use their own adversity as motivation to succeed instead of doing stuff like complaining on Reddit about how unfair life is.

 

Joe Biden posts on r/AntiWork.

 

You had to dig deeper to figure out that “Scientology management services” was connected to Scientology?

 

Seriously, what is it with this generation and being terrified of talking on the phone?

 

Hmm, my ten year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up in June. This gives me an idea.

 

Yes, but only if you’re a junkie who shows up to work high as a kite every day or you call out multiple times every week. Seriously, my supermarket deli job was union, and I watched the union rep fight tooth and nail to get somebody their job back not once, but TWICE, after the person got fired for literally falling asleep in the middle of slicing lunchmeat because they were high on pills. Meanwhile, I was stuck at $12 an hour as the assistant deli manager while the union dicked around on pay raises for three years, before finally deciding to do what we paid them to do and get everyone a whopping 25 cent raise. Fuck you, UFCW Local 152. UFCW Local 152 is run by crooks and scumbags.

If you’re someone who actually works, the union doesn’t give two shits about you. Unions in America were only good when the Mafia ran them.

 

Obligation? What obligation? It says “Hope you can join us!” Literally just don’t fucking donate you miserable cunt.

 

Grab a dictionary, look up the word “puritanical”, then read your post again and realize how fucking stupid you are.

 

No, you’re there forever. Get fucked nerd.

 

Alright, enough of this shit. I’ve gotta go lay off some employees, starting with a certain beer-stealing freeloader. See ya next time.

Got a subreddit you’d like to see me visit? Let me know in the comments below and I’ll see if it’s worthy of a Reddit Revue.

By Angry_Jerk

The CEO/Editor-in-chief of AJnet, and the current king of internet ranting. Hailing from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, AJ has been creating content on the internet for over 15 years. None of it has really been funny or entertaining, but he keeps trying anyway. When he’s not creating new articles for the site, he can be found hitting the weights, watching anime, or playing retro video games.