Happy holidays everyone!
Here at AJnet, we don’t discriminate. The AJnet Organization prides itself on including everyone. It’s 2023, and AJnet is “with it” now.
That’s why in this month’s edition of The Reddit Revue, during this holy month, the month of the birth of our Lord and Savior, nobody is safe. Christians and atheists alike will both be put to the verbal sword. You’re all a bunch of self-assured idiots and I’m taking you all to task, motherfuckers. Jesus and Richard Dawkins can’t save you now, you cocky pieces of shit. AJnet is coming, we’re not wearing a rubber, and we’re not pulling out.
Also, because it’s the season of giving, I’m making this one long. EXTRA long. And hard.
Our first stop on the TRUE and HONEST AJnet Holiday Tour™ is r/Atheism. Let’s see what these godless heathens are up to.
So your girlfriend’s mom thinks music is evil, but she’s cool with you spending the night in a cabin with her daughter?
I think this story might fall under “Things That Didn’t Happen”.
She let him put on music despite thinking it’s evil because it’s his story and that’s how he wrote it. Stop calling out the plot holes.
The ultimate r/Atheism conundrum.
“First, they came for the LGBTQWTFBBQLOLROFLZOMG, and I did not speak out, because I was not LGBTQWTFBBQLOLROFLZOMG. At least, I don’t think I was? I don’t even know what most of the letters mean tbh”
(Seriously, how many more letters are we going to add to that shit? Enough already, LGBT community.)
Your sister didn’t call you to ask if you’re going to Hell. Does it make you feel good to go on Reddit and make shit up?
Reddit user supports the gods of a culture that encouraged pedophilia. Big surprise there.
A kind and compassionate Reddit atheist that’s tolerant and respectful of the religious beliefs of others? You clearly don’t belong here.
This is the spiritual equivalent of becoming a lesbian who hates all men everywhere because you were raped. I get why you feel that way, but it’s still excessive.
>raping grown women
>using greentext outside of 4chan
When I win the presidential election next year, I’m going to wear wizard robes and demand to be sworn in on a copy of Jethro Tull’s Aqualung.
Going to church is unironically better than paying someone to pretend to be your friend for an hour a week and being prescribed drugs that permanently alter your brain chemistry. Not that I’d know about that or anything hahaha
According to this map I’m apparently living smack dab in the middle of Epstein Island.
Truly the most serious issue facing America’s public schools right now. Glad to see someone’s worried about the important stuff.
If the other guy is a Morlock, doesn’t that make you an Eloi? You DID actually read The Time Machine, right GatorBoyMike7? You basically just called yourself human livestock.
The irony that this guy probably didn’t even read the book he’s referencing is so beautiful that I want to print it out and frame it.
Yes, let’s pick a fight with the group that is historically known for amassing large armies and genociding those who go against them. Then after we’re done fighting Islam we can also fight Christianity.
I TOLD YOU NOBODY IS SAFE THIS MONTH MOTHERFUCKERS
“I got banned from a subreddit that preaches tolerance for being intolerant. This is obviously bias!”
Said by the white suburban American from the safety of his iPhone 15.
Something something abortions, dead babies, etc.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Man I’m out of touch. Back in my day we called it “butt rape”.
“Christian charity wants employees to be Christians. That’s discrimination!”
Apparently atheists lack basic communication skills.
Welcome to my world, pal.
Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?
Alright alright, I’ve bagged hard enough on the poor godless heathens. Let’s see what our Brothers in Christ are up to over at r/Christianity.
This must be that Christian persecution that the people on r/Atheism were talking about.
This was in response to the previous one. This guy is a genius, whether he realizes it or not.
I had to actually double check to make sure I was on r/Christianity. What progressive version of Christianity did I just stumble upon here?
There’s nothing un-Christian about giving children diabetes and companies ripping off parents with ludicrous costume prices.
Communion wine and holy oil.
Or I guess praying to a 90’s gothic love metal band works too.
Oh, so when the homeless guy on the subway talks to God it’s “schizophrenia”, but if this guy here does it it’s “two-way communication”?
Who the fuck still out there dying from pneumonia in the 21st century
“Oh God, yes!” doesn’t mean what you think it does.
That goes for you too, Mr. “Come to Faith”.
Wow, there’s an entire branch of Christianity based around a playground game.
Well, I’ve saved at least some of you with the power of screenshotting.
If someone reading this can explain the satire, please do. I’m more lost than a passenger on Oceanic Flight 815.
I’m beginning to notice that like half the people on r/Christianity are atheists. Get out of here guys, I already did your subreddit.
Actually, I believe the word was “Bird”.
Reminder that God’s plan literally consisted of raping Mary.
Agreed, the Bible is a total snoozefest. I wrote two articles about this back in 2007.
Hey no fair I wanted to be the antichrist I’ve been planning for it since I was a teenager dude come on
Does it cover acts of God?
(The ad was on the subreddit, it fucking counts)
Gay Muslims for Christ
(Look it up, it’s a real song, no matter how much Corporate Avenger tries to pretend it’s not.)
Except for that time where God hid in a burning bush and jumped out on Moses.
No, you have schizophrenia. Please seek help from a qualified mental health professional.
I think you misunderstood the lyrics to “Personal Jesus”.
Alright, I think we’re just about done here. Happy holidays everyone! DJ Jazzy Jeff, take us out of here.