Five Reddit Revues in and I’m already starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel.
When I first came up with the idea for Reddit Revue, I honestly didn’t think I was going to have such a hard time finding subreddits to trawl. Yet last month I found myself resorting to rehashing a concept I’ve already used twice before. The last battlestation review was good, but I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t a cheap attempt to quickly make some content.
The Reddit blackout in June didn’t help me any either. I attempted to dig through Reddit to find some subs worthy of a Reddit Revue (I do a fair amount of these articles in advance and publish later), only to be hit with the “This community is set to private” message over and over again. I’m currently writing this in August, and the blackout is long since past us, so I figured I’d take another stab at this and see if I couldn’t find some new material somewhere on Reddit.
I racked my brain until smoke came pouring out of my ears, and that’s when I remembered “r/NoKidsEver”, a subreddit dedicated to people who don’t want to have children and enjoy complaining about the children of others. As someone who doesn’t have any kids (that I know of), doesn’t want any kids, and isn’t a miserable fuck who rages any time a baby cries in a restaurant, I can’t wait to see what kind of bitter bastards hang out at r/NoKidsEver. Plus, it’s September, so what better way to celebrate back to school than reading a bunch of whining from people who hate kids?
Let’s dive right in! But into the grown ups pool, not the kiddy pool.
“My friend had kids, and now she puts their needs over mine. What a selfish bitch!”
Imagine being this entitled, holy shit. No wonder your friend stopped talking to you.
This can be simplified as “I’m a huge pussy who’s afraid of responsibility.” You won’t have to worry about kids, because someone like you is probably too afraid to talk to women.
Time out, what the fuck is “March Break” and why haven’t I ever gotten one?
I was going to make a Michael Jackson joke here, but then I realized this current generation of teenagers wouldn’t even get it. Now I feel old.
Two people on opposite ends of the spectrum who will regret their respective choices and give blowjobs to Berettas. People who are confident in their decisions don’t feel the need to brag about them on social media.
Your lunch didn’t get ruined by a 4 year old, you crazy bitch. You ruined that poor child’s Easter with your neurotic bullshit. “Slugsbian” is the perfect username for you, somebody this miserable and unhinged probably looks like Roz from Monsters Inc. with neon-colored hair. Take your bullshit anxiety service dog, take your meds, and GTFO.
“Keeping the subreddit safe for folks like me”? What?
Smith and Wesson sells your solution.
This is the crazy bitch from before. Who the fuck keeps letting her around kids?
Your girlfriend was asked to babysit, not you. Literally just stay home you damn psycho.
How many did you lose due to totally coincidental blood clots and heart attacks that had absolutely nothing to do with the rushed-out vaccine?
Thank god she caught the kid before they scratched off Niger.
(I don’t get it, is this post supposed to imply that if she had kids they’d be racist or something?)
Women really out here literally crying about their friends wanting kids, wtf.
Reason #27 is “Being free to crosspost memes on Reddit all day every day”. Seriously, I’m starting to think this sub should be called “r/momreview420memes”.
Also, she’s got lit candles and bananas on her table. You just know.
This made me think of something. The entire point of sex is to ejaculate inside the woman and impregnate her. So guys who have creampie fetishes don’t actually have fetishes, they just enjoy normal sex. At least, that’s what I’m gonna tell myself from now on.
Oh, and this lady sounds like a miserable bitch I guess.
I think anyone posting on this miserable shithole of a subreddit has no right to try to deny others happiness or accuse others of being selfish.
I’m like 98% sure that these are the assholes who constantly post pictures of their cats and dogs on Facebook and use phrases like “fur babies” and “dog mom”.
Things that should have been discussed BEFORE marriage.
We’ve had this for decades, it’s called “welfare” and it rewards crackheads who squirt out a new baby every nine months. But you won’t find anyone on “progressive” Reddit bitching about that.
Yet another benefit of not having kids, being able to do a shit load of drugs and post on Reddit.
In fact, I’m gonna go do some drugs right now. Take us out of here, DJ Jazzy Jeff.