It’s time for another Reddit Revue!
Way back in 2020, while COVID-19 was ravaging the world, I did a scientific study. This study was called “NoFap: Bunk or Based?“, and took a good hard look at the effects of abstaining from masturbation for lengthy amounts of time. While discussing the effects of not touching one’s self, I touched upon the sub-Reddit that started it all, r/NoFap. Since my study was more focused on the actual effects of abstaining from masturbation than the people promoting the ideology, I didn’t hang around r/NoFap for too long.
That changes today.
Look readers, I’ll be honest. The last two Reddit Revues I did were kinda lame. I know this is supposed to be the spiritual successor to Trolled! (which was honestly pretty lame too) but I need to step it up a bit. You guys deserve better content, and, just like the late great DMX (RIP homie), AJnet gonna give it to ya! If I can’t find hilarity in a group of losers who blame masturbation for all their problems, then I can’t find hilarity in anything and need to hang up my coat for good.
The fate of Reddit Revue lies in your hands, r/NoFap. Let’s see what you’ve got.
In China it’s also believed that communism works so I wouldn’t put too much stock in anything those guys have to say.
Your username is “Pedophile 420”, I don’t think anyone’s going to question whether or not you actually beat off 11 times a day. Also, somebody send an ambulance for the other guy, I think he’s having a stroke (pun not intended but still funny).
“I couldn’t stop masturbating until I starved myself for several days”. This should be the dictionary example of “First World Problems”.
Imagine being so addicted to jerking off that the only viable solution you can come up with is to get married. Also, didn’t Muhammad marry a six year old girl?
Any time you feel like a loser, just remember that this guy wrote an 800+ word dissertation on Reddit about why not beating his dick will fix his problems.
An excellent choice of words, Bruce.
Your username is exactly what I said out loud after I read your post.
Another famous Chinese proverb is “The penalty for comparing the Chairman to Winnie the Pooh is 10 years in a forced labor camp.”
(I’m sorry, I’m done taking pot shots at China now)
No, it doesn’t. You’re having a stroke. What’s the status on that ambulance we called earlier? We’ve got another one here.
Said by Kobe Bryant in 2003 to a 19 year old woman at a hotel in Eagle, Colorado. Seriously, I know Kobe’s dead, but did everyone just forget about that whole thing?
You know what, just send the whole damn stroke unit, it’s like an epidemic or something.
Did… did this guy seriously get ChatGPT to write a rap about NoFap in the style of NEFFEX?
I think this has absolutely nothing to do with NoFap, and I’m unsure why you’re sharing it. Also why the fuck is your whole family hanging out in the bathroom with you?
Huh, maybe there IS something to NoFap. Look what it did for Pepe.
Uh…
OH COME ON.
Finding inspiration to quit masturbating from a guy famous for his obsession with dicks. What a stroke of genius.
Ew, this fucking degenerate has a SEX DRIVE!
It’s a slippery slope. One day you’re bashing the bishop to Caroline Pierce, and the next you’re balls-deep in your six year old cousin’s butthole.
Get real dude, nobody’s gonna actually get off to this shitty drawing.
…
You’re like the recovering alcoholic that goes to bars and preaches the evils of drinking. Just shut the fuck up and let them have their kink bro.
The CIA is watching you, and every time you beat off they send out an alert to everyone you know to tell them about your nasty little habit. You dirty dirty boy!
You’re only supposed to look at Playboy for the articles, sicko.
Alright, that’s just about enough browsing r/NoFap for me.