How to deal with INTERNET TROLLS!

Are you dealing with internet trolls? We’ve got you covered!

Howdy ho Muggheads, yours truly Frosty Mugg is back with another Frosty Tech Tip!

In today’s Frosty Tech Tip I’m gonna be talking about internet trolls and how to deal with them! Your pal Frosty is no rookie when it comes to being harassed on the interwebs. Just the other day some lousy rotten ASSHOLE on YouTube said that drinking beer is bad for you! Like I’m gonna believe THAT load of shit!

Not everyone is as cool, calm, and collected as ol’ Frosty though. That’s why I’ve made this guide for you (yes, YOU!). With a little bit of listening and a whole lotta learning you too can deal with internet trolls as efficiently and effectively as me!

Don’t take the bait!

The first thing you need to do is not do anything!

Trolls will say all kinds of sick and twisted stuff to get you to respond. They’ll say nasty things like “Beer is bad for you”, “I really think you have a drinking problem”, and “Seriously dude, you’re destroying your liver”, all to get you to fall into their twisted troll web!

That’s why the most important step to standing up to a troll is to not fall for their tricks! Before you reply to a troll, I suggest having a beer and thinking it over first.

Track them down and beat them up!

Sometimes ignoring them works, but sometimes it doesn’t!

Whenever an internet troll won’t let up, that’s when I stand up and go right (and sometimes left!!) to Carl in the AJnet R&D department!

I introduce Carl to my good friend Andrew Jackson and he uses his computer magic to track down the troll and find out where he lives. Then I’ll have my other good friend Alex drive me to the troll’s house and I beat the hell out of them with beer bottles! Beer isn’t bad for me, but these beer bottles are bad for YOUR HEAD!

TECH TIP: Make sure your beer bottles are empty before you use them as weapons! Otherwise you’ll waste beer. And that’s alcohol abuse!

But not everyone works for AJnet even though AJ always says we have operatives everywhere! So most of you reading this can’t throw your money at Carl to have him help you solve your problems. That’s why they invented hitmen! All hitmen are bald guys, therefore all bald guys are hitmen! I think (drink)? Find any bald guy on the street and offer him $20 to go beat the troll up for you. Make sure you tell him not to kill the troll. Otherwise the hitman WILL kill the troll, you WILL go to jail for murder, and large men WILL rape you in the shower! But if the hitman kills the troll anyway even after you tell him not to then that’s fine because you told him not to and it’s not your fault the hitman didn’t listen. As a bonus the troll learns a lesson they’ll NEVER forget!

Trick other internet trolls into tracking them down!

Maybe you don’t want to spend $20 on hiring Carl or a hitman to track the troll down. After all, $20 is a lot of money. You could buy a whole case of beer with that $20!

What if I told you that you could still track that troll down and teach them a lesson FOR FREE?!

That’s right readers, I said FOR FREE! Free as in “beer”!

Instead of tracking, it’s time for some TRICKING!

All trolls have to use a name on the internet when they troll people, it’s a rule! A troll rule. Fool! I pity the fool who tells Frosty beer is bad for him!

That troll wants to sully your good name? Well now it’s time to give that troll a taste of their own medicine and ruin THEIR name! On the internet you can be anyone you want to be, so be the troll! Go all around the internet using that troll’s name to start fights with everyone and anyone. Don’t just drag their name through the mud, rub their stupid face in it too! Eventually someone is gonna get mad and they’re gonna go troll hunting!

Who will YOU troll? Nazis? Terrorists? The Mafia? WRONG! YOU’RE not trolling anyone, since it’s not YOUR name those people are gonna see saying all those mean things to them! Grab a case and watch as everyone else starts getting on the troll’s case! Why don’t you try showing the Aryan Brotherhood or Hezbollah your stupid study about why beer is bad for your health, DUMBASS!

AJ says he did something like this once when someone wrote graffiti on his house and wants me to share the article with you so here you go!

Ask Juan for advice!

When I have a problem you know who I ask for advice?

AJnet’s very own advice columnist Señor Juan!

Juan’s advice is always absolutely astounding and always alleviates any adversity! If some good for nothing JERK is saying hurtful things to you online (like telling you that you drink too much!) then maybe it’s time to call your amigo Juan! His phone number is (Oh for fuck’s sake Frosty, don’t go posting Juan’s phone number on here ~AJ) so feel free to call him any time you need advice!

You can even email Juan too at [email protected] and he’ll give you all the advice you need to deal with internet trolls!

Internet trolls aren’t so tough!

Internet trolls are weak stupid punks who probably can’t hang so they make up for it by talking shit on the internet! Instead of letting them get you down, go down another cold mug of beer!

Alex I need a ride to Connecticut!

Hey Alex, can you drive me up to Connecticut? Some guy up there said beer is bad for you and I want to show him why he’s WRONG!