The Truth™ is here!

WARNING: TRUTH™ AHEAD!

Did you know that the anti-fluoride movement is actually a plot by the British monarchy to destroy American dental hygiene?

How about the JFK assassination? What do you think the real reason they killed Kennedy was?

What if I told you that it was really a marketing strategy to sell pillbox hats?

Think global warming is a bad thing? Think again, there’s a reason the people running the show are trying to fight it!

A big old Texas howdy, AJnet readers! I’m Alex Jonestown, Five Star General of the Truth Troopers, Friend of Freedom, Enemy of Evil, and the bane of their existence! The Truth™ isn’t out there, it’s right here with me!

Longtime listeners of my radio show “Truth Troopers” are already familiar with my brand of 100% authentic no-nonsense news, but for those of you just joining us here on AJnet let me give you the scoop.

The first thing you need to know, dear reader, is that ol’ Jonesy doesn’t pull any punches. I promise you the Truth™, the whole Truth™, and nothing but the Truth™, so help me God. Sometimes the Truth™ isn’t pretty, in fact most of the time it’s downright ugly just like my second wife. My job is to bring you that Truth™ as-is no matter how ugly, cruel, or horrifying it might be. If you want your news prettied up and fed to you in itty bitty little bites like a baby, then you should leave now and go turn on the idiot box and get your news from the government-approved talking heads there. But if you want the Truth™, then you’ve come to the right place. Welcome to Alex Jonestown’s Truth Troopers!

Now some of you might be wondering “What’s Jonesy doing writing stuff on AJnet? What happened to his radio show?” I’ll tell you what happened to my radio show, Troopers! My radio show was too real for the establishment. The Powers That Be felt threatened by the power of the Truth™, and they pulled the plug on my show and accused me of all kinds of bad things like defamation, libel, slander, and spreading “lies”. They decided that you, the American people and the people of the world, are not allowed to hear the Truth™, because it goes against the so-called “truth” that they’re trying to sell you! The Powers That Be know that the Truth™ is bad for business, and they don’t want any competition!

My radio show was cancelled, but with thanks to AJ I’m able to continue spreading the Truth™ through that wonderful medium known as writing. The pen will always be mightier than the sword, Troopers! We will not be silenced! The Truth™ isn’t something you can just plug your ears and tune out and hope it goes away! AJ has offered me the vast resources of the AJnet Organization and committed himself to an alliance of Truth™. And, Troopers, with those vast resources and that powerful alliance, we will strike back against The Powers That Be in one powerful voice that says “You will not win! We’re not coming, we’re already here, and you can’t silence all of us!”

The Truth™ will set you free, readers!