I went toe-to-toe with the mighty Captain Ozone.
Captain Ozone somehow found my coverage of his super-nonsense (most likely by Googling his name like the narcissistic douchebag he is), and was less than happy with it. Sorry for getting this up so late, but your mom.
From: Will Ozone <[email protected]>
Date: 6/19/10
Subject: Captain Ozone
“He who shouts fag the loudest is probably a fag.”
Maybe you can tell us on your website what’s so intellectually controversial about ignorance and bigotry, even if it’s merely in jest, Angry Jerk?
I think you failed to recognize my sense of humor:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8597011024457745958
~Captain Ozone
So let me get this straight. This guy came to my site looking for “intellectual controversy”, and he couldn’t find it? Are you fucking blind? My site is full of intellectual controversy. Like all the constant references to me being physically abusive towards my ex-girlfriend. Or what about that time I posted that one guy’s IP address and called him a pedophile? And what about that other article where I made that joke about throwing Jews into ovens? Or how about all of those sly references to the number 216 I slip into my articles? Bet you’re not intellectual enough to figure out the number’s significance, Ozone. It’s not that there isn’t any intellectual controversy on my site. You’re just too goddamn stupid to recognize it when you see it.
In any case, I attempted to reach out and enlighten our young padawan:
Sorry, I guess I missed your sense of humor because it wasn’t funny.
Did you really expect me to sit through that 26 minute video you sent me? I can barely watch an 11 minute episode of Invader Zim on my computer without being distracted. If I’m that distracted even when watching something I enjoy, what makes you think I’m going to watch 26 minutes of environmentalist bullshit? I’m not a hypocrite and would die defending your right to promote whatever your message is, but holy cow man, I feel unclean from just skimming through 10 seconds of that garbage.
I’ll admit, my knowledge of you is limited to Encyclopedia Dramatica and the World Super Hero Registry. From what I’ve read, you seem like an utterly reprehensible faggot. I mean, you actually threatened to sue somebody for calling you a murderer and rapist over the internet.
Putting aside the fact that only a whiny bitch would threaten to sue someone for talking smack online, you obviously don’t think too much of your fans if you feel they’re dumb enough to believe facetious accusations of murder and rape on some loser’s blog. You claim you want to help the world, but who are you helping by threating people with lawsuits? A truly noble person would have brushed it off and continued doing what they’re doing. If you’re so easily bothered by the nonsensical tripe of others, maybe you shouldn’t be an activist.
Any lawyer who tells you that you could win that case is full of shit and only looking to screw you out of your money. Next time you want to spend money pursuing legal action against an obvious troll, ask yourself “Who is this going to help?” Instead of contributing to the decline of society, give the money you would have spent on the lawyer to a charity that supports what you believe in.
I would refute your claims about my website being full of ignorance and bigotry, but quite frankly I don’t think it’s worth it. You’re just some self-righteous dork trying to wave his prick around.
Hit the pike, buddy.
But as it turns out, Captain Ozone’s legal counsel DID NOT send that legal notice. The plot thickens, much like Captain Ozone’s dense skull:
Now, now, settle down. Let’s not get all defensive and huffy, my darling Dutch cleaning boy.
If you would have read that lawsuit threat just a tad closer, you would have noticed that it’s a fake too, most likely written by the same person who wrote that humorous article about me being a futuristic rapist and murderer.
My goodness, you’re really keen, aren’t you?
You mean you didn’t enjoy Chuck Heston at the beginning of my documentary?
I truly am in awe of your aptitude and astuteness, Angry Jerk.
~Captain Ozone
Hey broski, chillax. You’re an environmentalist faggot who wears tight-fitting costumes and poses on top of giant logs. The whole lawsuit thing wasn’t that big of a leap to make.
And yeah, I guess I’m too inept to get your message, whatever the fuck it is. Maybe you’ll give me a hand here?
I’m sure you’re trying to make some kind of point or convey some kind of message to me in your emails, but I’ll be damned if I can figure out what it is.
I guess not =(
In view of the fact that you’re a dull-witted person, I’m not too surprised.
~CO~
Ah well, so much for super heroes being noble and helping out “lesser” folk like me. Captain Ozone? More like Captain Douchebag.