After the failure that was the last “Trolled!”, a fan decided to be kind enough to link me to another forum, this one full of angsty pseudo-intellectuals.
Upon looking around, this place was too good to pass up. I decided to wait until I did a few more articles though, because having two Trolleds in a row would look tacky.
Then earlier, I found this picture:
And I went fucking nuts. Grace Slick’s left titty. And look at the way she’s holding that beer, like she’s holding my cock. I decided that the world must know how hot this woman is (FUCK YOU, IT’S 1960 NOT 2009 AND SHE’S 21 NOT 70). After sending out a mass email to my unappreciative contacts list, I noticed the email again and decided that the first webforum that I would preach the gospel of Grace Slick’s hotness would be:
Most redheads come off that way, but you don’t need emotion to try to put out their flaming crotches with your cum.
Nadeem Bitar, in honor of the 4 years of your life you’ve spent incessantly emailing me your gibberish, this one’s for you.
You’d be surprised how many people appreciate you when they’re looking down the barrel of a gun. Just ask the Columbine shooters.
And slowly, my sanity begins to crumble.
“Malachi and Jeff,” answered Santtu.
Holy. Fucking. SHIT. I should become a regular at this place.
Damn, I was SO FUCKING CLOSE to scoring with one of these whores. Gotta watch my wording next time.
I was actually washing my hands of my girlfriend so I could go to this.
Actually it’s named Porkchop.
Damn I’m clever.
Stupid bitch, the guy was obviously hitting on you.
And I’ve lost it.
After my fit, I decided to try and explain why I am the way I am. Surely a bunch of people on a webforum dedicated to an outdated psychology theory would be able to understand, and forgive me for my transgression.
NOBODY INSULTS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. I HATE YOU FUCKERS. K;HGKHSGRK;GGHRNL
Fucking banned because I have a disability? AND those cockbags find it funny? I’ll skin those motherfuckers alive.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I must run out to the store to buy some lotion and oogle at the hot cashier who looks like Grace Slick, before the e-psychologists decide to have me put away. See you in 5 to 10 years.
UPDATE (6/15/10): I now have confirmation that Typology Central has discovered this article, most likely as a result of it being the third result if you search “Typology Central” on Google. I would just like “Talisyn” to know a few things. One, my personality is apparently INTJ. Two, I do it for the lulz. Three, you’re t3h hawt. I’d hit it. I’d hit it 27 times. <3
UPDATE #2 (7/26/10): Typology Central, you oughta consider switching hosts or something, because your site seems to go down almost monthly. Every time this happens, your members Google your site’s name, which leads to them stumbling across this article as the third result. I know, it doesn’t make sense to me either. Is accessing your site through Google going to make it magically reappear or something? Fucked if I know.
UPDATE #3 (5/3/18): Hello again old friends, I’m watching you!