Rantlister Interview: Thilo of NinjaPirate (The Second Best Page in the Universe)

We posted an interview with the owner of the Best Page in the Universe, so now it’s time for the Second Best.

Whenever anyone asks me who/what my biggest inspirations were for starting this site, I have a few answers.

There’s Maddox, of course. Then there’s “Ask Peeves”, a snarky advice columnist from the early to late 2000’s who rarely gave actual advice and instead usually insulted the asker for their spelling or grammar (this was before autocorrect was a thing). There’s also my 9th grade English teacher Mr. Palaia, who continually pushed me to reach my full writing potential by holding me to progressively higher standards.

Finally, there’s Thilo, owner of NinjaPirate.com, also known as “The Second Best Page in the Universe”.

Whereas Maddox’s site was more serious and rant-oriented, Thilo’s site didn’t try to take itself seriously in the least. While Maddox was working hard establishing himself as the king of internet ranting (a title later taken by yours truly) and taking his writing to higher mediums, Thilo was just having fun with it. NinjaPirate was considered the official Maddox knock-off (what with being the “Second Best Page in the Universe” and all), but to call it that might not have been entirely accurate. Much of NinjaPirate wasn’t even really rants, and was humorous, inane, and often non-sequitur in its approach to its articles. The best way to describe the difference between Maddox and Thilo was that Maddox gave a fuck and Thilo didn’t. If you wanted social commentary with some comedy thrown in, you read Maddox’s site. If you wanted comedy with some social commentary thrown in, you read Thilo’s site.

Those who have read my earliest articles will definitely see a bit of the influence that Thilo’s unique writing style had on me. I spent a lot of time in the school computer lab reading Thilo’s site, and was actually kicked out of three different computer labs between high school and the one semester of college I did because I got caught reading The Second Best Page in the Universe. This guy and Maddox were my internet heroes, and the top two biggest driving forces that inspired me to start this website (sorry Eric, Peeves is third place).

Thilo also had a place in Rantlister history, helping Bob Smash and Bagoda design certain aspects of the site. Unfortunately, Thilo’s involvement with the site had pretty much ended by the time I was invited to join, so I didn’t really get a chance to rub shoulders with one of my idols (I’d eventually get multiple chances to talk to him later after my site began to get noticed).

In March of 2009, I was a member of the Rantlister Forums, but I wasn’t a staff member yet. As such, I missed out on the chance to interview one of the greatest influences on AJnet, and one of the internet’s funniest writers in the early to late 2000’s (which Google tells me is called the “aughts”). Thankfully, Bagoda was there to do it instead.

So without further ado, this is Rantlister’s interview with Thilo of The Second Best Page in the Universe, originally done by Bagoda in March of 2009.


Welcome to the second action packed, jaw dropping Rantlister Interview. So far we have gotten very positive feedback from our first interview and by positive I mean none-what-so-ever. Seriously? You ungrateful fucks. At any rate, we continue on this week with an interview with one of our most well known list members, Thilo from the Second Best Page in the Universe errr his Village, or whatever the hell he is calling it now. It’s that one with the jizz stain on it. You may not know it by reading this interview (seriously) but Thilo does support Rantlister even if he thinks all the sites listed are horrible (like so many of us do).

 

1. Why did you start writing?

My first grade teacher told us to.

 

2. How did you hear about Rantlister?

My first grade teacher showed us.

 

3. Do you read any of the sites on Rantlister? If so, which one(s)?

No. All those sites are very distasteful.

 

4. How would you describe your site to someone who has never read it?

Very distasteful.

 

5. Who let the dogs out?

What bastard let them in in the first place is what I wanna know..

 

5. Orly?

Norly.

 

10. If you were stranded on a desert island with Rosie O’Donnell and Sarah Silverman, who would you shoot first?

Sarah Silverman is hot.

 

11. If you were a mad scientist with unlimited funds and only one day to live what would you do?

I’d find a cure for whatever was killing me tomorrow.

 

12. What (or whom) do you hate the most?

Hurry this up, I gotta go.

 

12. What do you mean? This isn’t a live interview. I emailed you the questions. You have all the time you need.

Yeah I know, but seriously, hurry it up.

 

12. No, you don’t understand. These questions are pre-meditated in an email. Fill them in at your own leisure.

Then how are you responding to me real-time?

 

12. I had incredible foresight about how you might respond.

Okay, if you’re so smart, what will be the answer to my next question?

 

12. Grapes.

Grapes.

 

12. See!

Yeah, fuck you.

By Angry_Jerk

The CEO/Editor-in-chief of AJnet, and the current king of internet ranting. Hailing from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, AJ has been creating content on the internet for over 15 years. None of it has really been funny or entertaining, but he keeps trying anyway. When he’s not creating new articles for the site, he can be found hitting the weights, watching anime, or playing retro video games.