The Dead Kennedys pwn

There are three bands that kick major ass: Iron Maiden, the Dead Kennedys, and the Beatles.

Since most people always talk about Iron Maiden and the Beatles, I’m going to talk about the Dead Kennedys.

The Dead Kennedys is a punk rock band from the 80’s. Back when punk rock wasn’t some faggy looking guy wearing make-up:

Green Day was alright back in the day, but now they cater to little 14 year old angst-filled teens who think Simple Plan is hardcore punk. Green Day also ripped off the Dead Kennedys’ CD cover for “Bedtime for Democracy” with their 1994 CD “Dookie.” Here is a picture of the two covers so you can compare:

I heard Jello Biafra (singer for the Dead Kennedys, idiot) got so pissed off, he went to a music store full of angst-filled teens waiting in line for the CD’s release, and purchased every copy the store had in stock, plus every copy for a year in advance, just to piss off Green Day’s fans. Then, he took them and personally delivered them to Billy Joe Armstrong’s step, and lit them on fire right in front of him. After that, Jello took a shit on Billy Joe’s shoe, laughed, flipped him the bird, and walked away like nothing happened.

People today confuse whiny emo shit with punk rock. This is why most people today dislike punk. Bands like Fall-Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Simple Plan, Good Charlotte (what the fuck kind of name is that for a band anyway?), and Green Day have pissed on the work of bands like the Dead Kennedys.

Anyway, the Dead Kennedys are so awesome. When I was but a mere 15 year old kid, my friend told me how much the Dead Kennedys kicked ass. I didn’t believe him. He bet me $20 bucks that I would shit myself after hearing them for the first time. Needless to say, I lost $20 bucks, and my favorite pair of pants.

My uncle went to one of their shows back in 1985 (I think it was 1985) and he said it rocked balls. I wish the Dead Kennedys would come to Philadelphia. I would be at the show, thrashing pussy ass wannabe punk rock kids. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not punk either. But I don’t pretend to be by saying that Green Day is hardcore shit. It’s better to not be a punk at a punk show than it is to be a wannabe punk at a punk show.

Listen to “California Über Alles,” “Police Truck,” and “Kill the Poor” for the Dead Kennedys at their best.

Fuck Green Day.