For some time, I’ve been addicted to a game called “Minecraft”.

When this game first started, the features were minimal. The main point was just to have fun and build shit on a server somebody else hosted. You had one or two admins, and maybe a few server ops. Their primary purpose was to ban griefers (people who destroy stuff other people made). Everybody had fun making cool stuff, and if a griefer came on, they were eventually caught and banned.

This was over a year ago.

Now, the game has been taken over by elitist paranoid faggots who seem more concerned with catching griefers than actually allowing others to have fun. Here are some things I’ve seen on Minecraft that just piss me the fuck off:

  • Upon entering a server, being bombarded with walls of colored text insisting that the first thing I must do is read the rules. MINECRAFT IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
  • Admins who constantly hide behind the server’s command prompt interface and watch every little thing you do, sometimes sending you messages to remind you that they are omnipresent. Compensating much?
  • Servers that trap you in one area as soon as you spawn (for those who play the game: Spawn prisons). Guess what assholes? I can beat your shitty attempts to confine me with little to no difficulty.
  • Servers that are locked from editing. It’s not like the purpose of the game is to actually BUILD or anything.
  • Trigger-happy asshole admins or ops that teleport to you the second you spawn and greet you, then follow you around the whole time looking for the slightest excuse to ban you. I shit you not, I just got banned from a server like 10 minutes ago for not saying hello back to an op. The op’s skin was based on Anonymous, with the green mask and the black suit. I’m surprised his username wasn’t something overbearingly meme-ish like “MUDKIPZHABEEBITDESU”. Fucking newfag.
  • Multi-world servers. If I can’t simply build something within 10 seconds of entering your server, I’m leaving. Fuck going through portals or looking for the “Guest” section.
  • User ranks. Whoop-dee-fuckin’-doo, you gave the server admin some lip action and pretended to like his shitty video game sprites, just so your name would be green and you can place blocks on the otherwise locked server.

Seriously, you people are ruining an otherwise great game by being condescending assholes. You’re creating your own griefer problem by being a paranoid trigger-happy asshole. I’m able to circumvent your shitty spawn prisons (even after you turned off the no-clip hack that allowed me to go right through solid blocks), and soon I’ll be able to circumvent your IP bans too. I’m sure it’s just a matter of inserting or editing code in the client to not send my IP address to your server. And when I do figure it out, I’m telling every other griefer how to do it too. Then you’ll be left with three choices:

1. Shut down your server whenever things get a bit rough.

2. Watch helplessly as your server is burnt to the ground by griefers.


Nah, you’ll probably just baw to Notch and have him pay his development team to release a patch that prevents people who don’t send their IPs from connecting, because it’s easier than not being an asshole.

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By Angry_Jerk

The CEO/Editor-in-chief of AJnet, and the current king of internet ranting. Hailing from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, AJ has been creating content on the internet for over 15 years. None of it has really been funny or entertaining, but he keeps trying anyway. When he’s not creating new articles for the site, he can be found hitting the weights, watching anime, or playing retro video games.