Vikings may have been Chinese, new evidence suggests

The Vikings may have actually been Chinese, new evidence suggests.

We’re all familiar with the legend. Vikings, large seafaring men known for their strength and their brutality, sailing across the cold sea in their ornately carved boats and pillaging lands, spears and shields in hand.

Popular shows like Vikings and The Last Kingdom paint these warriors of old in a similar light. Swords and shields at the ready, hordes of large white men with braided beards set out from Denmark, descending upon English kingdoms and leaving death and destruction in their wake.

But were they really white?

Maybe not, say researchers from the Berkeley Department of History. According to Professor Ted Sheinbaum, these famed warriors of old may have actually come from China, rather than the cold weathered shores of Denmark.

“We’ve uncovered new DNA evidence that suggests the Vikings may not have been Scandinavian, or even white for that matter,” said Sheinbaum.

Sheinbaum’s team made the discovery while analyzing a hairbrush dated to the late 800’s.

“We wanted to know who this brush belonged to,” explained Sheinbaum. “So we ran some DNA tests on the leftover hair. The results surprised us.”

The results showed that the ethnicity of the hair wasn’t Scandinavian, but rather Chinese.

“How did Chinese hair end up in a brush that belonged to Vikings?”, Sheinbaum mused. “I think it’s pretty obvious when you look at it. The Vikings were actually Chinese.”

Sheinbaum said that further analysis was required to be certain, but he was optimistic that the results would prove him correct.

“We need to exhume a few bodies to be sure, but by all appearances I think we have something here. Something big.”

If found to be correct, Sheinbaum’s discovery would drastically rewrite known history. The Vikings have traditionally been depicted as white Norsemen from the Scandinavian region. Contact between the Norse and the ancient Chinese is generally regarded by most historians as highly unlikely, though there is evidence of Chinese goods making their way west along the Silk Road.

Sheinbaum theorized that racism may have played a part in portraying the Vikings as white instead of Chinese.

“Might makes right,” Sheinbaum said. “The white Anglo-Saxons didn’t want to admit that they struggled against a non-white race, so they essentially whitewashed their enemies.”

Some are skeptical, saying that Sheinbaum is leaping to unfounded conclusions and misinterpreting results. Jennifer Jones, a professor of history at Rutgers University, had a different explanation for the Chinese hair.

“There wasn’t really any contact between the Vikings and the Chinese, but it’s possible that a few stray Chinese merchants may have made it west.” Jones explained. “Uncommon, but not impossible.”

Jones criticized Sheinbaum’s claims, citing historical record.

“There’s no conspiracy to hide the race of Vikings. We have mountains of evidence that show the Norse were white. Claiming they were really Chinese is absurd.”

Sheinbaum dismissed the criticism, drawing parallels between himself and 17th century astronomer Galileo Galilei.

“500 years ago we had mountains of evidence that the sun revolved around the Earth. They told Galileo that he was absurd too. We all know how that played out.”

Sheinbaum’s team is in talks with the Danish Viking Historical Society to exhume several Viking corpses and conduct extensive DNA tests to determine if the Vikings were indeed from China, though Sheinbaum says the historical organization has been less than cooperative.

“They’re pushing back against the exhumation. There’s a natural tendency to resist change, but you can’t hide history forever. The truth always prevails in the end.”