Battlestation Review – Mein Führer Edition

This month’s Battlestation Review: Styrofoam samurais, white bread, Burger Führers, Hot Wheels, mean green machines, and grass!

Welcome back dear readers to another amazing edition of Battlestation Reviews (Better Name Pending)!

When doing Battlestation Review articles, I draw from an image pool that I keep saved on my computer. This image pool is filled with battlestations from Reddit and 4chan, and the files are labeled accordingly. For images sourced from Reddit, the file name includes the Redditor’s username for quick reference so I don’t have to waste time digging through my history to figure it out.

Upon inspection of my source folder, it seems I’m starting to run low. This is the third or fourth article I’ve done now since I separated the series from Reddit Revue, I’ve really been blowing through the pictures. I’ll have to do an image run soon on Reddit and 4chan, which means that I’ll have to spend two hours on a Friday night scouring both sites for more pictures. By all means, the whole process shouldn’t really take longer than half an hour, but it’s easy to get lost on both sites, especially 4chan.

None of that has anything to do with today’s article though. I just felt compelled to share a little behind the scenes info, and the opening of the article was the perfect place to do it.

My image pool needs restocking, so today’s battlestations and setups aren’t anything too fantastic. We’ve got someone with styrofoam wall trim, another person with a wall made of astroturf, another with a green wall, and someone with Hot Wheels cars. Oh, and there’s a guy with a Burger King crown and a copy of Mein Kampf.

Let’s dive into this shit.

 

1. The Styrofoam Samurai

 

At first glance, this is a pretty nice battlestation.

The decor is simple, clean, and nice. We have a collection of stuffed animals hanging neatly from the corner. I’m not sure if this is a new trend or something that people have been doing for years, but I’m starting to see more and more of this in setups and battlestations. It’s pretty cool, I like the concept and I may do something similar myself. Points awarded. The lone samurai sword is also a nice touch, subtle yet sharp. Points awarded.

I had to look up the “Pop-up Up and Down RIP Headlights” sign. Apparently it’s some kind of meme that has to do with pop-up headlights in cars? I don’t know, I couldn’t really figure it out from a quick search and didn’t feel like doing any real detective work to learn more, so if anyone can clarify what the hell the joke is here let me know. Still, the sign looks cool and blends in with the rest of the aesthetic. Points awarded. I can’t tell exactly what the other two pictures on the left are, I think they’re Gustave Doré prints but I’m not sure.

Clean monitor and PC placement. Points awarded.

This battlestation is so clean and orderly that I had to double check to make sure it really came from 4chan and not Reddit. Where this battlestation fails is the fact that you’ve lined the back of your desk with styrofoam. What’s up with that? Points deducted, I’m not sure what the hell is going on there but I can’t think of any reason why this otherwise nice battlestation is being ruined by using styrofoam as wall trim.

4/10, throw that styrofoam in the trash.

 

 

2. White bread

 

When picking battlestations to review, I usually just grab whatever catches my eye at the moment.

This one caught my eye because of how bland it is. A plain white desk in front of an eggshell white wall with white speakers. Even the figure on your desk is white. I’ve said this before, white on white looks ugly, you need some color contrast. Black speakers would have worked better here. At least your mousepad is black, but it doesn’t matter because your keyboard and mouse are also solid black. Zero contrast. Points deducted.

This person has but two posters to their whole name, and a whole lot of empty space on the wall. To their credit, it looks like something may have been there. But I can’t award points for what may have been, only what is. Some points deducted for wasted space.

We got one of those electric standing desks for the office. It sucks, nobody wants to use it, and Sam is probably going to put it up for sale on Facebook Marketplace soon. As much as I want to take points away for this though, I suppose this is a matter of preference (even if all 20+ of our employees greatly prefer not to use it). No points deducted, but none awarded either.

I like the tablet on the arm though. I just bought a tablet not too long ago for reading manga, and I didn’t know they made arms for them. I’ll have to pick one up. Some points awarded for making me aware this exists.

This looks like it could be a college dorm or something, so I’m not expecting this person to paint their walls or mount shelves. Get some more posters, or even some cheap black foam tiles. You need contrast. I’ll give you a 3/10, with contrast you could probably bump it up to 5.

 

3. Burger Führer

 

Is that a Burger King crown? Based. 10/10.

 

 

4. Hot Wheels lead the way

 

While I see a lot of model cars in people’s battlestations, one thing I don’t see too often are Hot Wheels or Matchbox cars. Especially not still in their packaging. This is surprising when you consider how many people collect these things. I guess Redditors would rather collect Funko Poop.

This person has a small collection, and I wish I could make out what cars they have. I also like how they’ve used the peg board to display some of the cars neatly. Points awarded for Hot Wheels, and points awarded for a clean display.

Moving on, I like how you’ve synced your keyboard, mousepad, and computer LEDs. I used to buy those LED mousepads, but I haven’t been able to find one that doesn’t burn out after a year. I’m tempted to make my own, it can’t be that hard. Points awarded for color synchronization. I also dig the green and red lights you have by your TV. You have them spaced just right, they don’t clash with each other. Though the shelf above the green light kind of messes with the aesthetic. Maybe move the shelf to another area if you can. It still doesn’t look bad, but it needs a little tweaking. Some points awarded.

I see you’re using Logitech speakers. While I’ve since grown up and switched to JAMOs (which are just rebranded lower-quality Klipsch), I used to rock some Logitech z506’s when I was younger. I doubt that’s what you’re using, but they were actually really good speakers. I think I even still have them laying around in my basement somewhere. I’ll give you a couple of points here since Logitech speakers are okay for budget computer speakers, but you should consider investing in something a little better.

This is a nice little setup. It’s clean, colorful, and has personality. I could see myself chilling here in my late teens or early 20’s. 6/10.

 

5. Mean Green Machine

 

It’s clear this one is still a work in progress, so I won’t come down too hard on it.

The green paint job is both hideous and nice at the same time. It’s tacky and ugly, but the texture of the wall is what makes it actually work. I’m not sure what the texture is called exactly, it’s got a diagonal popcorn look to it, but it actually makes that disgusting shade of green look visually appealing. If you took that same coat of paint and put it on a flat wall it would look like complete shit (and trust me, I know from experience, because my parents painted my bedroom walls a very similar color when I was a kid). This has a grassy feel to it, and would work great if you’re a football fan (especially if you’re an Eagles fan). I’m going to actually award points for this, I’m impressed.

I’m confused about what your plans are for the ceiling though. That looks like painter’s tape up there, which makes sense because the paint can is also visible. But it looks like you also completely painted the tape. I hope you’re not planning on painting the ceiling green too, that would ruin the excellent paint job on the wall.

I also hope you’re planning on replacing those drab team tan linoleum floor tiles. Go with a dark oak laminate, or actual hardwood if you can afford it. Paint the wall base a similar shade of dark brown, or even white would be fine.

The rest of this setup is pretty weak, but like I said, it’s obvious you’re in the process of remodeling. I’m going to give this a 4/10 for now, but I want to see where this goes. I’ll be checking up on you again in a while.

 

 

6. Touch grass

 

Speaking of setups with grassy feels, I’m seeing more and more of these battlestations with fake grass.

I touched on this briefly back in August. I really like the earthy aesthetic, and I would have never thought to use fake grass tiles as wall decor. The battlestation that I reviewed in August (“Light and earthy”) only had a small section of fake grass, and also had fake ivy and good lighting to help make it one of the best battlestations I’ve seen so far.

This setup, on the other hand, has opted to use fake grass for the entire wall.

I don’t dislike it, but it just doesn’t have that same sense of subtlety as the one I reviewed in August. Still though, there’s some nice contrast here, with the white walls, the fake wooden desk and shelf, and the warm lighting coming together nicely with the fake grass to give off a chill ambiance. Points awarded.

I’m a sucker for displaying vinyl records. I don’t recognize the other albums, but the one on the far right is Kanye West’s single “POWER” off of his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy album. My favorite Kanye album will always be Late Registration, but “POWER” is a good song, and brings back memories of jumping out of the helicopter in Saints Row III. Points awarded.

The desk is nice, neat, and orderly. Also, I’ve mentioned this before, but as much as I really like that style of clock, I wish mine would actually keep the time. Mine runs fast by an extra minute each week. Maybe it’s because I bought it off AliExpress, who knows. Anyway, points awarded for a clean desk.

This is a decent setup, but it’s not the best thing I’ve ever seen either. 6/10.

 

That does it for this one. We’ll be back with another Battlestation Review (Better Name Pending) sometime in April. In the meantime I’ve gotta go rebuild my image pool.

Our inbox and comments are always open, so feel free to submit your own battlestations and setups to us at [email protected], and maybe we’ll include them in a future article. If your setup was one of the ones featured in an article and you want to give us additional information, correct us, or even give us an update, drop us a line via email or in the comments.

Last Updated on February 19, 2025