The Truth™ about my legal battle!

They took my radio show, they took my money, and they tried to take my name too!

A big old Texas howdy, Truth Troopers. As always, I’m Alex Jonestown, Five Star General of the Truth Troopers, proprietor of Truth™, defender of freedom, and the man who THEY fear most!

In fact, they fear me so much that they tried to take everything from me. And I mean EVERYTHING, right down to my god-damned name!

I’ve spent the last three months fighting for my life in the hallowed halls of justice. First it was those greasy Italian bastards at AIPAC who forced me to cancel my radio show. But that wasn’t enough, Troopers. When The Powers That Be come for you, they don’t stop until they’ve taken everything from you. Your money, your voice, your freedom, and even your name. These bastards were hell-bent on crushing the Truth™ into the ground.

After AIPAC’s assault on Truth Troopers Radio, hundreds of offended Italians came crawling out of the woodwork like termites, claiming that I was a racist and that my joke caused them undue emotional distress while demanding punitive damages to the tune of $1.5 billion. The judge, the “Honorable” Vincenzo Marinucci, had no qualms about letting his biases against ol’ Jonesy be known, and I was ordered to reimburse those poor Italians for their pain and suffering. And if that wasn’t enough, I was ordered by Judge Marinucci to sell the rights to the Truth Troopers, including the name.

And just who was interested in buying that name? Why, those devious clowns over at the Scallion!

The Scallion, a publication known for outright making up news stories, was interested in buying the Truth Troopers name and using it to deliver their own twisted version of the Truth™. This twisted “Truth™” the Scallion wanted to peddle under my name no doubt consisted of insults and attacks on my very integrity. It’s evil enough to steal a man’s livelihood, but it takes a real sadistic son of a bitch to steal his name then use that name to kick him while he’s down!

“Jesus H. Christ Jonesy, who the hell is evil enough to do something that?”

I’ll tell you who! The demented demonic son of a bitch who sent AIPAC and the Scallion after me is none other than that bastard John K. Worthington III!

John K. Worthington III, the man at the top of the pyramid. A man so powerful that even Lord Rothschild himself trembles with fear as he bows before him. John K. Worthington III has an endless supply of wealth, and you damn well better believe he uses it to crush his enemies! The Worthington family is a top contributor to AIPAC, and young heir to the Worthington fortune John K. Worthington IV sits on the Scallion’s board of investors.

Troopers, I may not have some big fancy college degree from some big fancy school, but I can do the math! I can put two and two together, and I know damn well it equals four. I knew damn well Worthington was trying to silence me! This loud Texan mouth was calling too much attention to the Truth™, and when you’re trying to sell the public lies the Truth™ is bad for business. We’d better shut Jonesy down before he rouses the rabble!

And they almost won, Troopers. They took ol’ Jonesy down to the mat and were about to pin me for the three-count. But before that referee could get to three, my phone rang. My lawyer, bless his soul, delivered me the best news I’d heard all goddamn year.

“It’s the damnedest thing Jonesy, the court ruled the sale illegal!”

“You’ve gotta be shitting me, Lee. So that means I still own the Truth Troopers?”

“You’re goddamn right it does Jonesy!”

Unfortunately for Worthington and his Scallion cronies, they forgot to dot all their i’s and cross all their t’s. Thank God Almighty for small miracles! Just like that, the Truth Troopers were mine again!

Just how they hated Jesus Christ because he spoke the Truth™, they hate me because I too speak the Truth™. Troopers, if this isn’t proof that we’re winning the info war against these tyrants, then I don’t know what is! We’ve got these bastards so damn afraid that they’re trying to take away our name in the vain hope that we’ll just tuck our tails between our legs, crawl into holes, and lay down and die. Well let me tell you something, Mr. Worthington. You can’t have our name! You know why you can’t have our name? Because the Truth™ is on our side! When faced with enemies as powerful as John K. Worthington III and the Scallion, the Truth™ is our strongest weapon! The Truth™ is both our sword and our shield, cutting down their lies while protecting us from their evil.

Readers, we may have won this battle, but the war is far from over. The Worthington family and their goons will stop at nothing to silence the Truth™ and establish their new world order with them at the top. This time they attacked our name, and even though they lost you can bet your sweet little ass that tomorrow they’ll attack something else! They’ll keep attacking the Truth™, because they know that the Truth™ will set you free from their shackles. We’re winning, Troopers! We’re winning against these evil bastards, and we can’t fold against them now! They may be relentless, but the Truth™ is and always will be even more relentless than their lies!

Stay strong and keep fighting the good fight, Truth Troopers!