Progressive tried to fuck me

Progressive tried to fuck me on my car insurance.

I’m pretty sure that I’m the only person in the city of Philadelphia who keeps my car on the up and up and obeys traffic laws. I’ve already done four articles on the state of other drivers in this city, and I’m sure I’ll probably do a fifth one at some point in the future.

Don’t worry, this isn’t another rant about bad drivers. No, this one’s about Progressive and their money-grubbing bullshit.

Back in October, I bought a new car (the shit I had to go through to buy a new car and pay in full warrants its own post). Rather than sink more money into my dying ’03 Camry, I decided instead to actually spend some of my money for a change, and upgraded to a ’22 Corolla. It’s proven to be a good little car so far, and I’m satisfied with my purchase.

What I wasn’t satisfied with was Progressive jacking my rates up from $80 a month to $205 a month. But whatever, I expected the rate to go up for a newer car. That wasn’t what pissed me off.

No, what pissed me off was the email I received last week from Progressive telling me that I needed to call them immediately about an “unlisted driver”.

Thinking that some scumbag tried to hitch a ride on my car insurance, I called Progressive. I was told that they had received record of my girlfriend living at my address, and that if this was the case then she needed to be added to my account. My girlfriend has her own car and her own insurance. She doesn’t drive my car, and I don’t drive hers.

Apparently this didn’t matter, according to “Progressive policy” she still needed to be listed because she was a resident at my address “of driving age”. By not having her listed, I could be accused of insurance fraud, or so I was told. My girlfriend was placed on my policy as an “excluded driver”, and my rate went up another $15 a month. Complete and utter bullshit. I guess they need all the money they can get to pay Flo’s absurdly high salary.

I’ve had Progressive for over 12 years. I’d lived with other drivers multiple times before and this was never an issue, so why did it come up now? I sussed it out quickly.

When I bought the car, I took out a loan with my credit union (seriously, I need to share the nonsense I went through, apparently you can’t just walk into a dealership and drop tens of thousands of dollars on a car outright). I paid the loan off right away, but never received the title. So at the beginning of last week, I called the credit union to ask what was up. There was a mistake with my zip code, but they fixed it right then and there, and told me that Harrisburg would send a new title out. Evidently someone in Harrisburg notified someone at Progressive, and Progressive looked at my address and said “Hold up, we can hit this guy for more cash”.

Legally, there isn’t shit I can do. This has apparently always been a law, even though most insurance companies don’t care enough to enforce it too much. Unfortunately for me, Progressive is one of the companies that does.

Unfortunately for Progressive, I’m smart enough to know that I’m not smart enough to figure out how to fuck Progressive on my own. Time to call in some reinforcements.

I’ve had an insurance agent in my back pocket for the last 12 years, and Progressive’s money-grubbing bullshit finally convinced me to call them in. With the agent’s help, I ditched Progressive and brought my insurance down to around $170 a month through Travelers. Further, my agent tells me that because my girlfriend lives with me, we can get a married couple discount should I add her to my plan, despite us not being married.

There’s honestly no real point to this article, I just wanted to bitch about the fact that Progressive expects me to pay more for my insurance just because someone else lives with me, and that the lady on the phone treated me like I was a dickhead because I questioned why this was a thing. I’d also recommend finding yourself an insurance agent if you don’t have one. They’re free, and chances are they know what they’re doing more than you do.

Eat a fat dick, Progressive. Flo, Jamie, and the rest of your crew can get fucked. Also, shoutout to Reddit for simping for car insurance companies hard af.