Letters to the Editor: A Tale of Friendship
How did AJ and Juan meet? Are AJ and Frosty the same person? You asked, we answer!
Back in November, we published an AJnet Archives article about fan mail the site has received over the years. In the article, I (it’s AJ, in case you’re too stupid to tell) mentioned that the site doesn’t really receive fan mail like it used to, but still invited people to send it anyway.
After publishing that article, we actually got an uptick in emails from readers, who evidently took the article as a call to arms. We appreciate it, seriously guys (and girls, we don’t discriminate here at AJnet).
While we’re not going to publish every single email we get, I’ve decided to start a new feature called “Letters to the Editor”, where I’ll be posting some of the more interesting emails and answering questions from readers. I’m not sure yet if this will be monthly, bi-monthly, bisexual, or whatever. I guess it depends on the amount of email we get. So if you want more of this, let us know, and be sure to send us your best emails.
This email comes from a young lady named Brooke. Brooke is a fan of “Dear Juan”, and wants to know how me and Juan became friends. She also wants to know if me and Frosty are the same person.
Hey.
You said you don’t get a lot of fanmail so I know you’ll see this.
I’ve been reading AJnet Magazine for the last year and I absolutely love it! Dear Juan is my favorite segment but I also really like Reddit Review and your battlestation reviews.
You said that you and Juan have been best friends for a long time. How did you meet? I looked at some of your old articles and you said you hired him to pose for a picture and slash your neighbor’s tires but I know that’s just a joke. How did you really meet Juan?
One more question. Are you Frosty? The two of you look alike. Is Frosty just you writing when you’re drunk? Be honest!
Brooke
Appreciate the fan mail, Brooke.
As for how I met Juan, it’s really simple. I needed someone to pose for a picture holding a stick, so I drove over to Home Depot and-
Oh, you wanted the true story, and not a racist joke about hiring illegal Mexicans from Home Depot.
Many years ago in the Year of Our Lord 2007, I went to a house party at the apartment of a girl named Renee. Renee was in a green card marriage with a Brazilian guy named Gustavo. Gustavo spoke just enough English to communicate his mutual love of metal, and also made the best mixed drinks I’ve ever had. I’m not exactly sure what he was mixing, for all I know he was spiking the drinks with drugs. I just know they were exceptionally good. There was also a gay guy named Steve going around shushing everyone for some reason.
Trust me, this is all relevant.
Me and my friend Sam were desperate to get away from Steve the Shusher (mostly for his own safety), so we retreated into the kitchen, where we found two of Gustavo’s friends talking to each other in Spanish. One of them noticed my Iron Maiden shirt and, in a thick accent, said “Up the fucking irons amigo!” Those were the first words Juan ever said to me. We started talking about Iron Maiden, and I mentioned that I brought my Number of the Beast CD (This was before music streaming was really a thing; If you’re under 25 you won’t know about this, but back in the day if we wanted to hear music we had to listen to these things called “CDs”. They were round, shiny, and highly prone to scratching and skipping.) Juan’s brother Rico grabbed the CD and put it into a nearby portable radio. We spent the next 40 minutes jamming to Iron Maiden and taking shots of Johnny Walker. Later Juan and Rico walked with me to the nearby 7-Eleven so I could get some fresh air and get away from Steve the Shusher, who by this time was one more “Shh!” away from being thrown from a four-story balcony. Juan made some jokes about Steve that I won’t repeat here, and we laughed the annoying cunt off until we got back and Juan discovered Steve was sitting on his hoodie. Juan freaked out about a gay guy sitting on his hoodie, to the point where I don’t recall ever seeing Juan wearing that hoodie again. Juan has since become less homophobic, in case you were wondering.
After bumping into each other at a few more parties, Juan eventually found me on MySpace and added me as a friend. We kind of just started hanging out outside of parties, and our friendship grew from there. I told him about my website, and he thought it was funny and agreed to let me use a very dorky picture of him for shenanigans. He’d later also offer to troll Arthur’s Hall.
Juan says I helped him with his English, but I honestly don’t think it was that bad to begin with, since we had pretty coherent conversations (about as coherent as two drunk guys could be, anyway). I did help him study for his citizenship test, though I think his sister helped him more, and in 2012 Juan became a fully legal American citizen.
So that’s the story of how AJ met Señor Juan. Never underestimate the power of metal and alcohol in breaking down cultural barriers and forging friendships:

And speaking of alcohol, you want to know if I’m Frosty. I assure you Brooke, we’re two completely separate people. I couldn’t drink like Frosty anymore even if I wanted to, I’m lucky if I can get through a six pack without feeling like bloated shit. Frosty’s a mess, but I guess he’s our mess so we allow his drunk and belligerent ass to stay around.
For now.
Last Updated on January 31, 2025