Donated to charity? Great, keep it to yourself.
Why do so many people feel the need to humblebrag about donating to charity?
I actually wanted to publish this one during December to coincide with the holidays, but there was just so much already scheduled that I had no choice but to wait until January. Whatever, it doesn’t matter, the point is still very much valid year-round.
I’m tired of seeing humblebragging assholes showing off their acts of charity like they’re John Holmes showing off his massive hog. This validation-seeking behavior is not only highly annoying, but it also pretty much invalidates the charitable act. I might just be old-fashioned, but I was always under the impression that charity was about doing something good for someone less fortunate and not wanting anything in return. Now social media scumbags everywhere are recording their acts of charity (tax deductible, of course!) for views and clout.
Stans will defend this obnoxious behavior by saying that their videos encourage others to donate and actually help bring in more money for charities. While this argument is actually somewhat valid, it ignores the fact that the influencers still make a killing from the ad revenue and sponsorships associated with said videos. The right thing to do in this case would be to also donate those profits as well, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that many influencers probably don’t.
It’s amazing how charity can bring out the worst in some people. At my last job, we had a food drive every November. Most of the time few if any people in our shop would donate, and on the last day one of the guys would go around collecting $5 from everyone, which they’d use to go to the supermarket and buy food to donate. My first year there I gladly chipped in. There was about 20-30 of us, so $5 from each guy usually brought in anywhere from $100 to $150.
When they returned with the groceries, I noticed something was off. They had pooled about $125, but the amount of stuff they came back with was worth at most $50. I’m very meticulous with my money and I worked in a grocery store for nine years, so I usually have a pretty good idea of how much stuff costs. There was no way in hell what they came back with was $125 of groceries. So what happened to all the extra money? I’ll let you deduce the obvious.
The following year I didn’t fall for their scam, and when they came around trying to get money I simply told them I didn’t have any cash on me (not a lie). I got shamed and called a cheapskate, but whatever.
But then the year after that, I came up with the perfect counter to their scam.
On the final day of the food drive, after they came around trying to shake us down for cash, I decided instead that I was going to subtly let them know that I was on to them without actually saying it. I went to the local Aldi and bought about the same amount of groceries that they normally bought (my total came to about $35, in case you were wondering). I brought the stuff in and didn’t say a word. So now they had a couple of options.
Their first option was to just pull their scam anyway and come back with the same amount of food as I did, which would expose them to me.
Their second choice was to do the right thing for once and actually buy $100+ worth of groceries.
Because they were greedy idiots, they went with the first choice. And not only did they they still pull their yearly scam, but they also came up to me and asked why I bought all that food instead of just giving them $5. When I told them it was easier for me to go buy the food than it was to go to the ATM they got really annoyed and implied that by going out on my own I was stepping on their toes somehow and I should have just given them money instead.
I responded the following year by buying four times the amount of food. This time they decided to do the right thing and bought just as much food as me, making sure to make a big show of wheeling it around in a wagon and boasting about how much it cost. They also felt the need to reprimand me for shopping on company time (after getting back from their own shopping trip on company time). I didn’t make it another year at that place.
At least those guys contributed something to charity and only scammed their coworkers. There’s a food bank not far from my house, and every time I drive past it there’s lines of Asians waiting. I did some research into this, and discovered that many of these Asians were stocking up at the food banks then selling the stuff in their stores. They take advantage of the language barrier and the policy of most food banks to not question anyone coming in for food. It’s disgraceful that they do this, and it’s disgraceful that the food bank allows them to so blatantly do this.
It’s a shame that something as simple as an act of kindness towards the less fortunate often gets corrupted into either self-serving aggrandizing bullshit or outright theft. If you’re using charity as a cover to steal or receiving charity that you don’t actually need, you’re a piece of shit, plain and simple. If you’re using a charitable act as a publicity stunt to bolster your own image, you’re an obnoxious asshole.
If you want to donate to charity, just do it and shut the fuck up.