This month’s very merry Reddit Revue: r/Christmas!
Merry belated Christmas!
Those of you following the website since we began regularly updating in the beginning of 2023 may or may not have noticed that we’ve been keeping something of a schedule. Usually we post new articles Mondays and Fridays, and lately we’ve been doing Wednesdays as well. Sometimes I’ll switch things around if there’s a holiday, but for the most part we’ve kept to this scheduling system pretty well.
You may or may not also notice that certain recurring features tend to get posted around the same time each month. For example, the AJnet Archives articles are typically posted on either the 15th, 16th, or 17th of each month, depending on what day falls on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. You’ll also notice that Dear Juan articles usually get posted somewhere around the 8th and the 22nd of each month.
The Reddit Revue is typically posted on the last Wednesday of each month. Unfortunately, this month’s last Wednesday fell on Christmas Day. I try to avoid posting articles on holidays, especially one as big as Christmas. You should be spending that time with family and friends, not reading some half-assed internet publication.
Anyway, the consequence of Christmas falling on the last Wednesday of the month means we’re posting this month’s Reddit Revue on a Friday. Don’t worry, you’ll be okay, we promise. It’s just one day.
It also means that this month’s Reddit Revue target, r/Christmas, might technically be a little late. I don’t care, the holiday season ends after New Year’s Day as far as I’m concerned. Also, I do the Reddit Revue articles a couple of weeks before they’re published, so right now it’s the beginning of December and you can stop roasting my chestnuts over the open fire and suck my snowballs.
I really wasn’t too sure what to do for this month’s Reddit Revue. I wanted to make it relevant to Christmas, but I wasn’t sure how. I already made fun of Christians and atheists last December. Besides, I’ve been doing soft targets all year.
So I opted to be a Grinch and make fun of random shit on r/Christmas. Posts, decorations, whatever. If it’s on r/Christmas it’s a legitimate target. ’tis the open season!
I’m not gonna lie, this one’s probably gonna suck Santa’s sack. Now before I make another shitty holiday-themed joke, here’s r/Christmas.
I can think of a few things you’re missing. Class, taste, subtlety.
I was going to talk shit about couples who wear matching pajamas, but my man is over here legit rocking a mullet in 2024.
This person is so stupid that they don’t realize those other two “trees” are just reflections.
Ah yes, I too put turkey breast and cranberry sauce on my gingerbread houses.
Your Christmas tree says a lot about you.
No, fuck off.
This post is trash and so are you.
Baby Jesus doesn’t go out until Christmas Day.
Retard.
This is ugly, and I hope you fall down those stairs.
Based Aussie shitposter.
I can score an angel around my way for $10 too, but most of them are fucked up from years of meth use.
Yeah, serving up a steaming hot plate of shit.
Dude looks like a bargain bin Hodge Twin.
Your joke is bad and you should feel bad.
“First place” sounds impressive until you realize this was probably a town with a sub-1,000 population, there were only two other entries, one of which collapsed on the way to the contest, and the person who made this float is the mayor’s niece.
Is that Santa pulling a Hitler salute?!
Wait until this Redditor sees who appears in the second movie, they’re going to have a PTSD attack.
Don’t worry Dave, I gotchu
Pictures of his MIL’s rear entry can be found on r/MatureMomPics.
You know how every year they air a 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story, and you ask yourself “Who the hell asked for this shit?”
This is who asked for that shit.
Getting Marshall Applewhite vibes.
I was molested in the men’s room by a mall Santa.
This happened last year.
When I was 8 years old, a girl in my class treated me to her rendition of The Nutcracker, which was just her kicking me in the nuts as hard as she could.
You were such a bitch back then, Steph.
Somebody please call the police, I’m about to be raped.
This should qualify as animal abuse.
I know what I’m getting your mom for Christmas.
Be honest, how stoned are you right now?
You are literally paying the store to advertise for them.
I’ll fucks with the Aldi one though.
How the fuck a Christmas tree got Down Syndrome
Between this tree and the gingerbread house from r/WitchesvsPatriarchy we could probably start a Christmas decoration Down Syndrome collection.
Thanks Mr. Seagull you too
Nanu no-no, you alien-looking fuck
I don’t get it.
This is the person who downvoted your Reddit post because he looked through your post history and saw that you voted for Trump.
No, get lost fatty.
Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie, but thanks for trying.
Retard.
Yeah, it’s really cute, until your cat reenacts the scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
dude
weed
Based retard.
Those “battle forms” are highly impractical for real combat. Ma Deuce would tear that bitch to shreds.
Reader participation time!
Leave a comment filling in the blank! The best submission will receive the satisfaction that comes with making me slightly chuckle.
When did Good Housekeeping get into selling sex toys, and why would they hire this uggo to promote it?
Well that actually went better than I expected it to go. Who knew r/Christmas was so full of cringe? Next month’s Reddit Revue will probably be r/IAmVeryCulinary.
I’ve got nothing else to say here. Merry Christmas and happy New Year, motherfuckers. Now go spend some time with your family.