This month’s Reddit Revue: r/Elon! (And r/ElonMusk too!)
After putting it off for months, I’m finally doing r/Elon, the subreddit dedicated to everyone’s favorite conman. A reader actually requested this sub way back in December of last year, but I kept putting it off in favor of repeatedly going after incels and feminists. Seriously, looking back at past Reddit Revues I went after those groups a lot. We’re going to take a break from that for a while and focus our efforts elsewhere. Reddit is a very big place that’s full of all kinds of idiots, and it’s time for AJnet to diversify its portfolio of mockery.
Over the years I’ve grown less and less fond of Elon Musk. I just don’t like the guy. Sure, he’s got some okay ideas, and I even agree with him on a number of things, namely that humanity’s future is in the stars. But ideas only go so far. At the end of the day, results are what matters most. For as many ideas as Elon seems to have, his actual results are few and far between. Teslas are overrated expensive pieces of shit, and the Cybertruck is the most retarded thing I’ve seen in my entire life. SpaceX hasn’t really done much either other than create a reusable rocket that sometimes works.
At the end of the day, Elon is just another conman, making exuberant promises but not really delivering on many of them.
But perhaps the biggest con he’s pulled is Dogecoin.
Over the last ten years, I’ve watched Elon manipulate the living shit out of Dogecoin. The coin went from being a joke memecoin to being a crypto powerhouse, and people who invested early cleaned up (as they do with most pyramid schemes).
For example, someone who invested $6,000 in Dogecoin back in May of 2016 when it was only $0.0002 per coin and cashed out in May of 2021 at $0.61 per coin would have cleaned up to the tune of $18.3 million. If this investment were split three ways (for example, that person and two other friends went in at $2,000 each), each person would still have made over $6 million (closer to $3 million after taxes). Then that person could do all sorts of fun things with their money, like reinvest part of it into the stock market or high-yield savings accounts. They could even tell a nepotistic ball-busting employer to go fuck themselves, then leave and co-found a fairly profitable policy and planning consultation firm utilizing connections that their friends made in college.
Such a thing would have been possible thanks to Elon’s little stunt when he hosted Saturday Night Live on May 8, 2021. Especially for someone who realized Elon was executing a classic pump and dump the moment he began promoting Dogecoin, figured that Elon would tank the coin during his SNL performance, and had the sense to sell right before the show aired.
Since then, Elon has continued to manipulate the value of Dogecoin, and I’m not quite sure how this isn’t considered market manipulation. Oh wait, it actually was. But because he’s Elon Musk, he gets away with it. People tell me I should be thanking him, but fuck that. I got lucky, but what about all the people who got left “HODLing” the bag? Elon scammed the shit out of the majority of Dogecoin holders, and it’s bullshit that he hasn’t been held accountable for it.
I don’t want to turn this into a whole article about Elon though, so let’s tone it down just a bit.
I was directed to r/Elon by Cave, a regular reader and commenter. Apparently r/Elon is like a little cult dedicated to Elon Musk, which I find kind of surprising since I assumed liberal Reddit hated Elon because of his association with Trump.
Was I wrong? Let’s find out by checking out r/Elon.
Idiot apples to Tesla.
What are you complaining about? Donald Trump won the election, isn’t that what Elon wanted?
Wait a minute, something isn’t quite right here…
Elon University? What the fuck, this isn’t a cult for Elon Musk, you fucking lied to me Cave.
See you liar, I’ve got your post right here:
…
So as it turns out, I’ve been teasing the wrong subreddit for the last two months. The correct sub was r/ElonMusk, not r/Elon. I’d like to formally apologize to both Cave and Elon University for this highly embarrassing mistake.
Now that that’s settled, let’s check in on r/ElonMusk, the actual subreddit that’s supposedly a cult for Elon Musk.
Just confirming that r/ElonMusk is the right place.
Nice chart but it’s missing the part where he fucked Dogecoin holders.
Depends on how fashionable it is.
Didn’t you sell Ukraine a bunch of Starlink shit to help with battlefield communication?
Just because he’s dickriding Trump doesn’t mean he’s the leader of America.
Using a rocket for transcontinental travel seems extremely practical, I’m not sure why we haven’t done it yet.
Dickriding World Champ 2024
Totally not an illegal sweepstakes that totally wasn’t rigged.
Congrats on finding a way to make this retarded looking piece of shit look even more retarded.
Elon didn’t win Trump the election, government agencies don’t run like Twitter, and you’re an idiot.
“The might of the X algorithm”
So you’re basically admitting that Elon manipulated the algorithm to boost Trump’s popularity on the platform?
You don’t get banned from Twitter for going against the status quo, you just have your posts hidden from a larger audience.
Unless of course you pay them.
I called out the biased algorithms way before Musk did, tell that asshole to get to the back of the apology line.
Unless of course he wants to pay me to prioritize his voice.
Get the fuck out of here with your logical observations.
Man Cave you weren’t kidding about r/ElonMusk being a cult, look at this shit.
I can’t wait to see all the intelligent and thought-provoking responses that make me question my dislike of Elon.
Oh dear, this person seems to be having a stroke. I’ll call the ambulance.
It was just a Halloween costume dude.
Elon didn’t actually pioneer any of this shit. GM came out with the EV1 in 1996, his SunHouse project hasn’t been completed, and Starlink is about $120 a month in my area. Sure, SpaceX was the first to successfully test a fully reusable rocket, but given that we’ve been working on it since the 1940’s it was only a matter of time before someone got it. Elon was lucky at best.
Imagine feeling the need to spend hours of your life white-knighting for the richest man in the world. Now imagine that your deciding factor for stopping was his endorsement of Donald Trump.
Something tells me you’re not very bright.
If the world operated on your logic I’d have an entire holiday dedicated to me by now.
Yeah but remember that time he sold flamethrowers for $500? That totally makes up for it.
I’ve got an entire series of articles going back almost two years that proves you wrong, Cheesecake.
Never mind, this guy is the real Dickriding World Champ of 2024.
Agreed, people on r/ElonMusk are fucking nuts. I’m done here.
So that was r/ElonMusk (and r/Elon, which has nothing to do with Elon Musk).
I haven’t decided what subreddit I’ll be doing next month, but chances are it’s going to be Christmas-related. Maybe I’ll review Christmas light setups or something. Suggestions are always welcome.
Now take us out of here, DJ Jazzy Jeff.