DEAR JUAN: My daughter’s Halloween costume is inappropriate

Dear Juan: My daughter's Halloween costume is inappropriate

Happy Halloween amigos!

Long time ago in Ciudad Juárez Juan celebrate Halloween. Juan Javier and Mi Hermano Rico go to door wear costume say “Hola truco o trato give candy por favor”. No get candy then Juan come back next day and poop on house. Juan get mucho candy but Mi Hermana Josefina say “yes Juanito mi hermano but you must pay rent” and take Snickers. Mi Hermano Rico say “ey Juan why you no hide candy pendejo is easy you hide in sock Josefina no take”. Juan say yes is good idea but Mi Hermano Rico say “Josefina look in sock Juanito hide candy say he no pay rent”. Mi Hermana Josefina take candy and hit Juan with spoon but that is life.

AJ call Juan say “ey we have office Halloween party amigo you come and wear costume.” Juan say yes that is fine and go to store buy costume but Juan see many costume no sure what wear. Juan ask what everyone else wear. AJ say he dress like gringo Archie from Riverdale TV show he write about and Sarah dress like character Betty. Stephanie say yes that is good I dress like character Veronica. AJ say Juan you dress like character too but Juan no like Riverdale TV show so Juan no sure what costume wear.

Juan no sure what costume wear but today answer question from man with daughter who wear dirty costume.

Dear Juan,

My daughter wants to go as a cat for Halloween. I was okay with this, until she came home from the Spirit of Halloween store and showed me the costume. Attached to my email is a picture of her in the costume (Due to the subject being a minor we’ve decided not to post the picture ~Ed.). This is the most inappropriate thing I’ve ever seen, why the fuck are they selling costumes like this to teens? The wife doesn’t see anything wrong with it and thinks I’m overreacting, but I don’t think it’s acceptable for a 13 year old girl to walk around wearing something so revealing. What do you think? Is it wrong for a 13 year old girl to walk around dressed like a dominatrix with ears and a tail or am I being a prude?

Jake C.

Holy shit Señor Jake why you send picture like this. Juan show AJ picture and AJ say “Jesus Christ Juan no do not put that on website” so Juan no post picture of little girl in costume. Instead Juan post picture of adult here is adult woman in same costume:

Inappropriate cat costume

Señor Jake you no let daughter go out in costume like this are you crazy. Why store make costume for little girl look like woman Juan see in internet video have sex with man and kick man in huevos? Daughter go to tienda de pedofilia?

You say “Yes Juan I know this but wife say is okay wear costume”. Where you find wife? You meet wife at strip club? Juan think yes because wife let young daughter dress like stripper.

Señor Jake, you must be man of house now. You must tell daughter “No mija you no wear stripper costume you are too young.” Wife say “Mi marido it is fine I tell her yes she wear costume” you must tell wife “No mi esposa she look like woman in dirty porno movie with whip she is 13 year old why you let her dress like this puta you let her dress like this she get pregnant what in the hell”.

You take costume away go to store and ask for manager. Manager come say “Hola señor what is problem” you must tell manager “I have problem cabrón why you sell little girl dirty sex costume?” Manager say what you mean. You tell manager he no sell dirty sex costume to daughter again or you call policía and gringo Chris Hansen from TV show Catch Predator they come they arrest manager go to jail and many man have dirty sex with him in shower.

Juan know girl want to have fun like song say but 13 year old girl have fun no wear dirty sex costume because it is inappropriate. Daughter turn 18 then yes is okay wear dirty sex costume because she is adult but daughter no 18 so no wear yet. You tell daughter and wife this Señor Jake then you go to store and tell them no sell dirty sex costume to child if they do again you call policía.

Best of luck to you amigo.

 

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By Señor Juan

AJ’s oldest friend and AJnet’s resident advice columnist, Señor Juan has been an AJnet Staff member since 2008, when AJ first hired him to pose for a picture and slash a neighbor’s tires. Since then Juan has been a valued member of the team, earning his American citizenship, piloting the AJnet Huey, and keeping Frosty from getting too carried away. His soothing stories, alleviating anecdotes, and ability to smile in even the most perilous of situations help others find the reassurance they need during troubling and trying times.