Shrek is love, Shrek is life, but please don’t do Shrek 5.

I love the Shrek franchise, but it’s time to let it go.

I’m a pretty big fan of the original Shrek movie.

I saw this movie in theaters way back in 2001, and I instantly fell in love.

What isn’t there to love about Shrek? It’s got a funny yet heartfelt story and a terrific cast. They already had me at Mike Meyers, but Eddie Murphy was like the icing on the comedy cake. I didn’t have a strong opinion on Cameron Diaz or John Lithgow either way, but I still loved the characters of Princess Fiona and Lord Fuckwad Farquaad. Whenever someone asks me to name a good female protagonist one of the first characters I’ll usually name is Princess Fiona. Princess Fiona is a prime example of a well-written female lead, being strong and capable yet still feminine. Many writers (especially in today’s world) seem to feel that they need to rely on the “girl boss” trope when writing female leads, and as a result the character usually turns out boorish and boring. Princess Fiona is tough and capable, but she isn’t always showing up the men either. She’s a realistic strong female lead. Well, as realistic as a princess who turns into an ogre can be.

The first movie is also highly quotable, and when I watch it I have to stop myself from saying the dialogue alongside the characters. The “Do you know the Muffin Man?” exchange between Gingy and Farquaad is my favorite bit from the entire series and never fails to bring a smile to my face. Shrek is by far one of my favorite animated comedies of all time, and anyone who doesn’t find it funny isn’t human as far as I’m concerned.

Then Shrek 2 came out three years later, in 2004.

The sequel wasn’t as good as the first movie (as sequels rarely are), but it was still pretty enjoyable. There were still a lot of funny moments, the story was still good, and the additions of Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots and John Cleese as Fiona’s father King Harold brought new life to an already great cast. Even the minor characters like Gingy, Pinocchio, the Big Bad Wolf, the Three Little Pigs, and the Three Blind Mice got their moment to shine.

The villains, Prince Charming and his mother the Fairy Godmother, were a step up from Lord Farquaad. Whereas Farquaad was a bit of an idiot and really didn’t care much about Shrek beyond sending him to retrieve Princess Fiona from the castle, the prince and his mother were competent, devious, held a grudge, and proved to be Shrek’s most dangerous foes.

We even got to see Shrek in a human form that was reminiscent of Alfred E. Neuman (interesting fact: Shrek’s regular appearance is actually based off of old-time wrestler Maurice “The French Angel” Tillet).

Shrek 2 also has one of my favorite gags in the entire series, where they parody Cops and Puss in Boots is holding catnip that “isn’t mine”. Sometimes the simplest jokes are the funniest.

But then Shrek the Third came around another three years after that, in 2007, and thus began the decline of the series.

Shrek the Third had the potential to be at least as good as Shrek 2. The stark reality that two ogres were in line to become the king and queen of Far Far Away had so much promise. Justin Timberlake was also cast as Artie, Fiona’s cousin. I’ve never been shy about saying that I enjoy Timberlake’s acting career, for a former boy band star he’s surprisingly versatile and his acting brought a likable charm to the future King Arthur. I really wish we had gotten more of his character.

Shrek the Third also gave the other princesses a little more screen time without turning them into main characters, which I was appreciative of. We didn’t need another Cinderella or Snow White movie, all we needed to see was how they compared to Fiona in Shrek’s universe. This is where Fiona’s character really shines, in my opinion. While the other princesses would rather wait to be rescued, Fiona realizes that they need to save themselves, and with the help of her mother breaks the group out of the dungeon.

All the ingredients for another good movie were there, and while it definitely had a few strong points the movie still ended up being sort of a letdown, lacking the charm and emotion that made the original so good. Rather than properly utilize its good story and talented cast (including the addition of Eric Idle as Merlin), Shrek the Third tried to simply ride the comedic coattails of its predecessors, and as a result lacked the heart and soul that Shrek fans came to expect from the franchise.

But because the third movie did so well at the box office, Shrek Forever After followed three years later in 2010.

Shrek Forever After gave us a glimpse of what Shrek’s world would have been like had he not been born, and thus not around to rescue Fiona from the tower.

So much could have been done with this idea. Alternate reality stories are basically an open canvas for a universe, and can be used to explore endless possibilities. Would Lord Farquaad have successfully married Fiona? What would have happened when they kissed at the altar? How would Fiona’s parents have reacted to Farquaad? Maybe Prince Charming got there first and successfully married Fiona. What would Far Far Away look like with Prince Charming running it while his mother pulls the strings from behind the scenes? What would Duloc be like? There were so many interesting concepts that could have been explored with this plot. Shrek Forever After could have been a touching story of Shrek seeing just how much he impacted the lives of those he met, and him coming to terms with the fact that he’s become a better person- er, ogre, thanks to everyone in his life. Such a story would have served as a fitting conclusion to the franchise and allowed it to be sent off on a high note.

Instead, we got a half-hearted cash grab about Shrek having a midlife crisis, Fiona breaking herself out of the tower, and Rumpelstiltskin being a tyrant. Oh, and now there’s suddenly an entire community of ogres.

The movie had very few funny moments. I can’t even recall any specific scene from the movie that made me laugh, that’s how underwhelming it was. I’ll give credit where credit is due, the actors did the best they could with the bad story, and I think their talent was the only reason I didn’t outright hate Shrek Forever After.

I didn’t necessarily have a problem with the character of Rumpelstiltskin, I just don’t think he should have been the main antagonist. He was necessary to set up the “What if” plot, but as the main bad guy he was completely boring. If anything, Rumpelstiltskin would have been better suited as a secondary antagonist. A better choice would have been to bring back Lord Farquaad, Prince Charming, and the Fairy Godmother and have them as the main antagonists, forcing Shrek to fend off his past foes while working out how to break Rumpelstiltskin’s contract. Plus, the previous villains interacting with each other could have led to all kinds of hilarity. Just imagine an argument between Prince Charming and Lord Farquaad. You could even have Farquaad in an unhappy marriage with a domineering Snow White, playing on the dwarf thing for humor. There’s so much that could have been done here instead of what they went with.

The other ogres weren’t bad characters either, but I’m not sure where they came from exactly. Obviously Shrek wasn’t the only ogre in his world, but after not seeing any other ogres for three movies suddenly there’s this burgeoning underground ogre resistance? The appearance of more ogres might not have been so jarring if we’d been introduced to a few of them in an earlier movie, but after Shrek and Fiona being the only ogres for three movies why bring them into the the picture now? Then to confuse things further the ogres show up at the end of the movie dance party after Shrek resets the timeline. Did Shrek have to go track these ogres down after reverting back to the original timeline? That must’ve been a very strange conversation to have.

Much like Shrek the Third, Shrek Forever After had the right ingredients for a good movie, but in the end suffered from a poor story and lack of charm. And just like its predecessor, this poorly-executed mess somehow managed to meet moderate success at the box office.

Shrek Forever After was billed as the “final chapter”, but after its release the idea of a fifth Shrek movie continued to be kicked around. Though the entire original cast said they’d be on board, the project didn’t seem to be going anywhere, and most people gave up on the idea of Shrek 5.

That is, until June of 2024 when Eddie Murphy let it slip that he had already begun recording lines for a fifth Shrek movie, and a stand-alone Donkey movie is also in the works. Following this, DreamWorks officially announced a release date of July 1, 2026 for the new Shrek movie.

Look, I love the original Shrek movie, I also love the second one. I’ll even begrudgingly accept that I kind of understand why some people liked the third and fourth movies, even if I don’t agree with them. But it’s been 16 years since Shrek Forever After was released, it’s time to move on and let the series go. This feels like a sad attempt to cash in on the Shrek memes, which seem to still be going relatively strong compared to most memes that usually fizzle out in under a year. Mike Meyers certainly seems to be embracing them, as he included a Shrek reference in his 2022 miniseries The Pentaverate. But is meme magic really enough to carry another Shrek movie, especially so long after the last one was released? Doubtful. If anything Shrek 5 is going to be nothing more than a lifeless husk with a poorly written story being propped up by excessive pop culture references and callbacks to the original movie. While the original Shrek movie was full of pop culture references that made us laugh, those jokes alone weren’t what made it a good movie. Shrek juggled the humor with a good story that was full of heart and soul. It was essentially a modern spin on the classic fairy tales most of us grew up with, and that’s what makes it a timeless masterpiece. The third and fourth entries in the franchise lacked that charm, so it’s not unreasonable to assume that a fifth entry will also lack it.

Shrek had a good run, let’s not run his franchise into the ground. Make Shrek 5 the final story in the series and give our Ogrelord the proper sendoff he deserves.