Just what really happened 23 years ago on 9/11?
Welcome back Troopers. As always, I’m Alex Jonestown, friend of freedom, proprietor of Truth™, enemy of The Powers That Be, and five-star general of the Truth Troopers.
23 years ago, this great and glorious country we call home, these United States of America, the most powerful nation on this big blue marble we call Earth, was attacked. Hijacked airplanes crashed into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania, resulting in thousands of casualties and plunging us into two wars that lasted 20 years.
Now just who perpetrated this atrocity against our nation? The talking media heads would have you believe it was a bunch of angry guys wearing turbans and living in caves in the mountains of Afghanistan.
But you know better, don’t you Troopers? You’re not a bunch of gullible saps who blindly trust everything that comes out of the idiot box. You know that there’s more to the official story. There’s ALWAYS more to the official story. The “official story” and the Truth™ go together just as well as barbeques and bananas.
And Troopers, the Truth™ about the 9/11 attacks is bananas!
Now, some folks have deduced that the government isn’t telling us the full story about just what the hell happened on that September morning. They’ve sniffed out that something stinks about that official story. They say that 9/11 was an inside job.
Well, they’re right, but not completely. Those people who think that 9/11 was an inside job only know half of the Truth™. They’ve only found the Tru, they just need the th™ to complete it.
And of course, you know ol’ Jonesy’s gonna be the one to give it to them!
“Stop dragging this out Jonesy! I wanna know the Truth™ about 9/11, and, by God, I wanna know it right the hell now!”
The REAL Truth™ about 9/11 isn’t that it was an inside job. No, it’s much worse than that.
The Truth™ about 9/11 was that it was an inside joke.
“Goddamnit Jonesy, I know you don’t pull your punches, but that’s the most insensitive thing you’ve ever said! How dare you make light of this tragedy!”
My fellow Truth Troopers, in my pursuit of the Truth™ sometimes I come off as cold, callous, and downright insensitive. When you wade through as much bullshit as I have it hardens a man up. I promise you from the bottom of this proud Texan heart that I am NOT making light of the horrific loss of American lives that occurred on September 11, 2001. I’m not making light, but you can bet your sweet little ass that I’m sure as shit bringing light to what really happened! And what really happened was that those terrorist attacks, that devastating mountain of casualties, was nothing more than comedy to The Powers That Be.
Those damn dirty bastards, those vile wretched scumbags, they orchestrated one of the deadliest attacks on American soil as a joke! They found that death and destruction funny!
“Now hold the hell on Jonesy, if this was a joke then who told it, what was the punchline, and just who in the world was the intended audience?”
George W. Bush and his cohorts told the joke, the punchline was the 20 years of war that followed, and the audience was none other than John K. Worthington III!
Former United States president George W. Bush and his cabinet aren’t really politicians, they’re a goddamn comedy troupe! Don’t believe me? Then just why the hell were their names Bush, Dick, and Colin? You can’t make this shit up, right? Well, when you’re The Powers That Be, you can make up whatever the goddamn hell you want! These sick sons of bitches were performers, and the entire world was their damn stage!
These bastards orchestrated the tragic events of 9/11 as nothing more than a joke. They even picked the date of 9/11 because of the association with an emergency. Who do you call when there’s an emergency? You call 911. Who do you call when The Powers That Be commit mass murder as a joke? You call the Truth Troopers!
How does John K. Worthington III play into this? He’s the damn audience! That sick fuck, that heartless bastard, John K. Worthington III was in the mood for a laugh. So he threw Bush and his comedy troupe some money and said “Put on a show for me boys!” Their little show led to 20 years of war and thousands of American soldiers killed. The laughs just never stop coming, right Mr. Worthington?
This is what we’re up against, folks. Power hungry mass murdering maniacs like John K. Worthington III and The Powers That Be carry out mass-casualty events for a quick chuckle. They treat the world like a giant comedy club, and we the people pay the cover charge for them!
Well guess what Worthington? The joke’s on you, because the Truth Troopers are in the crowd armed with our tomatoes of Truth™, and we’re ready to throw them at your goddamned head! Your routine of mass murder and lies isn’t funny anymore you sadistic bastard! We’re not fucking laughing, we’re screaming in anger!
After 23 years your comedy tour has finally been cancelled, John K. Worthington III!