It’s time to review some more battlestations!
Way back in June’s Reddit Revue, I mentioned that I enjoyed doing the battlestation reviews so much that I wanted to split them off from the Reddit Revue and give them their own recurring segment.
As always, AJ delivers.
Henceforth, the battlestation reviews are no longer under the flag of the Reddit Revue. They’re their own thing, called “Battlestation Reviews”.
No, I couldn’t think of a better name. Can you? Yeah, didn’t think so.
I’ll continue to source most of the set-ups from Reddit, but I’ll also be drawing from 4chan and other places. I’m also allowing reader submissions, so send us your set-ups and I’ll review them in a future Battlestation Reviews article.
As usual, set-ups will be graded on a scale of 1 to 10, and be judged by important criteria like cleanliness, aesthetics, lighting, and the number of Funko Pops.
Alright, let’s get to it.
1. Optic-old media
I’m not sure what I’m more impressed with. Your massive CD collection, or the fact that you also have fucking floppy disks. Points awarded for the massive CD collection, and points awarded for flexing hard af with those floppy disks. Seriously, storing your files on a floppy disk in 2024 is like pulling out your nuts, slamming them down on the table, and saying “Bro I ain’t got a single fuck to give.”
That looks like a nice desk, but between the tiny Dell monitor that’s probably rocking a screen resolution of 1024×768 and the wooden dinner chair, there’s no way sitting here can be even remotely comfortable. My neck, ass, and eyes hurt just thinking about it. Points deducted for discomfort.
You have your speakers on stands, which is good because it puts them at the right level for optimal listening. I wish I had room on my own desk to do this, but because of space limitations I’m stuck keeping them on their sides. Points awarded for good speaker placement, something that not too many of these battlestations seem to have.
I don’t know why, but I like it when people put old computer parts on display. I have some parts laying around, I’m either going to build a beater to play around with Linux distros or I’m going to do what you did and display the parts. Points awarded.
I see the dog art, I see the stuffed fox, and I’m a little concerned that you’re a furry. I hope I’m wrong, but if I’m not then you can yiff in hell. Points not deducted this time, but I’m watching you.
All in all, this is some poverty station shit, and it’s not even a cool looking poverty station. This looks like the setup of a 40 year old who sits in his kitchen smoking Virginia Slims and listening to Linkin Park CDs.
4/10, at least you keep your desk clean and have a cool CD collection. Get a better desk though.
2. Alcoholic Anonymous
This battlestation speaks to me.
It says “No mom, I don’t have a drinking problem. Now get out of my room! And fucking knock next time!”
The last setup was a poverty station, but at least it was clean and had personality. This one is both dirty and bland, and screams “30 year old live-at-home alcoholic”.
There’s not a whole lot to say about this one. It’s a mess, there’s enough trash to make you look like a slob, but not enough to make it one of those setups that’s so messy it’s impressive. Even the speaker placement is trash.
2/10. Either clean your desk off or go balls to the wall and completely trash it. And buy a fucking poster or two.
3. King Creole
Most of the battlestations posted to 4chan are unmanicured messes, which adds an air of authenticity that you don’t typically find on Reddit.
But some are actually clean, like this one.
This guy posts his setup every single time there’s a battlestation thread on /g/. Usually it’s the same shot, but every now and then he’ll share an updated picture. I don’t remember when he posted this one, but I’ve seen it more than once so it’s probably a few months old at this point.
I’ve seen a few pictures of the full room. It’s not very big, maybe about the same size as a college dorm. He doesn’t have a lot of space to work with, but what he has he uses effectively. It’s definitely one of the nicer setups that gets posted to 4chan.
The small retro camera and projector connection is cool and arranged nicely underneath the King Creole poster. I also like the way the vinyls are displayed facing forward. You may have just posed them that way for the picture but I don’t care, it gives the shelves a nice aesthetic. You also have a little collection of CDs and video games, including an original Game Boy. Points awarded for that side of the room.
Your computer setup is simplistic but it still has an air of sleekness about it. It’s clean and it’s efficient. The Star Trek posters are cool too, and it’s even better that you took the time to frame them. Props on your speaker placement. Seriously, go through some of my old battlestation reviews and you’ll see just how uncommon good speaker placement actually is. And don’t think I can’t see those LEDs behind the desk. Points awarded.
7/10, this is a decent setup. The only way I’d improve it is by putting a couple of Funko Pops or something on the desk. But that’s just, like, my opinion man.
4. Ma Bell
This is another reason I like battlestation threads on 4chan. You never know what you’re going to come across, and you get gems like this.
It’s not every day that you see someone showing love for Ma Bell, and it’s definitely not every day that you see someone with an authentic-looking old school payphone sign. This is the kind of uniqueness that you don’t really see too much on Reddit. This person obviously has some interest in old phones, there’s a rotary office phone on the desk (are they using that as a monitor stand too?!). They even have the box for it on the shelf above them. Points awarded.
The wooden walls and drop tile ceiling only enhance the aesthetic here. This looks like the basement of a phone phreaker from the early 80’s, right down to the X-Files poster and CRT monitor. Points awarded.
I also see a lot of firefighter stuff. Again, not something you’ll really find on Reddit. I’m not sure if this person is a firefighter or just someone who collects firefighter-related things, but I like the aesthetic here, and I’m kind of surprised it doesn’t clash with the Ma Bell aesthetic. Points awarded.
All in all, I like this setup, and I don’t know how I’d improve on it. Maybe better lighting? But not with LEDs, those would just ruin it. 7/10.
5. NEET life
Sometimes I long for the NEET life, because setups like this make it look glamorous. I wish I had this kind of money and space when I lived at home, I’d have never left.
This room is clean and organized. There’s just enough of a weeb/gamer vibe here to make it look attractive without being gaudy. I like how they put their games on display in the hutch on their bed, it looks surprisingly nice and I’m not sure why we don’t see this more often in setups. I also like the way the controllers are displayed on the wall, though I’d consider getting a peg board if you’re going to do that. Points awarded.
The one thing I’m not fond of here is how you’ve put a metal shelving unit in that corner space. Though I’ll admit, I can’t really tell how deep that space is (perhaps I need a new pair of AliExpress glasses). Maybe the angle is just playing tricks on me. I won’t take off too many points for what could just be misperception on my part, but you could definitely utilize that space a bit better with a smaller shelving unit.
I’m also going to have to dock some points for the cable management. That mess of wires going sloppily from the TV to your computer makes me sad. Mounting your TV above the fireplace is iffy enough (though it does get a lot more hate than it deserves), but having those cables running out in the open is risky and it ruins the aesthetic of the fireplace. Maybe you don’t use the fireplace (wasteful) or it’s electric (blasphemy), but either way do something with those cables. Get some wire channels, and maybe paint them or even throw wallpaper on them that matches the stone.
This battlestation isn’t too bad as-is, but there’s a lot of untapped potential here that could easily improve this more. I’ll give this setup a 7/10 (that’s three 7’s in a row!), but with a few adjustments this could easily be a 9.
6. Miku Madness
This is another guy who’s always posting his setup in every battlestation thread on /g/.
I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that this grown ass man has this much Hatsune Miku shit, or the fact that I’m slightly envious of his collection. Is that a Miku shower curtain hanging on the left? I’d say “Jesus Christ” here, but it’s obvious Jesus has been nowhere near this room and probably never will. At least, not until you get rid of the Miku dakimakura.
A few years ago I’d have been impressed with how much money he spent on all those figures, but now that I know how cheap they are on AliExpress I’m way less impressed. That whole collection might be about $300 at best, maybe even $200. Still, points awarded for the massive collection of Miku figures.
Moving away from the Miku collection, the rest of the room is actually kind of nice. I’m a sucker for hardwood floors. Also, one of these days I’ll get myself some glass display cases for my own collectables. Points awarded.
This setup gets a firm 8/10 from me, dawg. Based femboy Miku connoisseur.
7. Nothing personality, kid.
And we’re back to Reddit. As if you couldn’t tell by the lack of personality this battlestation shows.
At first glance this looks like it’s a cool setup. The Evangelion posters look okay and contrast nicely with the black wall and LED strip behind the desk. The other lighting provides a moody ambiance. Everything seems to work nicely together and creates a pleasant aesthetic. Points awarded.
Unfortunately, the closer you look at the setup, the more it begins to unravel until you realize this Redditor, like most Redditors, is devoid of any real personality.
The biggest tip-off is the empty shelves. Those are nice shelves, but the only things on them are a few abstract decorative knickknacks that look like something you’d find at the thrift store. Except, I guarantee this person didn’t get them from the thrift store, they probably paid $30 a piece on Amazon for them. Don’t you have any interests? Grab a few Evangelion figures or something and utilize that shelf space. Points deducted for wasted space.
Then I look at the peg board on the right and I’m confused. I see you have your controller and headset hanging up on there, which is fine. I also see what appears to be a trading card of some kind, I can’t figure out what though. That’s not a bad idea either. But then I look at the four plastic cases and I have no fucking idea why you’d display computer mice like that. Seriously, what’s up with that? I’m all for displaying hardware, but not only is displaying mice a weird choice, but the mice all look virtually identical. What’s so special about those plain black mice that you have them on display? I like the idea of having the display cases there on the peg board, but it’s wasted on displaying boring ass mice. Put some cars in there or something. Points deducted.
This setup has potential, but your lack of personality forces me to give it a 4/10. It could easily be a 6 or a 7. Go find some interests and incorporate them into your setup.
8. White on white crime
This may be one of the worst uses of plastic 3D tiles that I’ve ever seen.
It’s not the tiles themselves that are bad. Rather, it’s the color of the tiles. You have bright white tiles on an off-white wall. The color contrast just doesn’t work here, even with the black shelves, desk, chair, and rug. You could have went with almost any other color tile and it would have worked better, but you can’t do white on white, even if they are different shades. Points deducted.
My first recommendation would be to paint the walls a charcoal gray or something similar, but I admit it would be stupid and excessive to repaint an entire room. Another option would be to buy gray tiles to replace the white ones. The most cost effective idea though would be to buy the classic foam acoustic panels in black, and put them around the white 3D tiles. This would create a border of sorts and offset the white on white while still looking fairly decent.
Moving past that, the actual setup itself isn’t too bad. You’ve got World of Warcraft stuff displayed neatly on the shelves, unlike that last guy you clearly have hobbies and interests. The obsession with Republic of Gamers is kind of eh, but I’m not going to take points off over it since it’s not obnoxious or overbearing. It looks like you’re limited on space there, and you’ve utilized that space just about the best you could. Points awarded.
I’ll give this one a 6/10. Do something about the white on white and I can probably swing you a 7.
9. Go, go, Godzilla!
This looks stupid and I want to hate it, but I can’t.
The fake ivy around the yin yang poster shouldn’t look anywhere near as good as it does. Compared to the rest of the setup it’s out of place, and yet it doesn’t look it. I think it might be because of the desktop wallpaper and the fake banzai tree on the desk. Points awarded for making it work.
The lighting is also really good, even though it shouldn’t be. Those rainbow string lights would normally clash with the orange lamp that’s in the room, but thanks to the lighting on the keyboard and the computer case it manages to integrate itself just fine. The green from the desktop wallpaper also helps with this too. More points awarded.
None of that should go good with the Godzilla collection, but somehow it just does. 7/10, good job, even though I don’t know why.
10. Black on white done right
This is proper usage of white 3D tiles.
I’m not sure what the rest of the room looks like, but the setup pictured here is a prime example of how great a black and white theme can look when it’s done right. White walls, black monitors, white desk, black mousepad, white keyboard, black chair. Even the (properly placed) speakers have a nice black/white contrast.
The only thing I’d change is getting a white mouse, but honestly I’m just nitpicking on that one. 8/10, sleek setup you’ve got there Trickay1stAve.
11. More than meets the eye
Hoo boy, I wasn’t really sure what to think of this setup.
Let’s start with the good things about it.
I like the Transformer collection. I don’t think those are actual retro Transformers, though it’s been a long time since I’ve seen actual ones from the 80’s so I could be wrong. That’s fine though, it’s still a decent collection. I also like the bleacher-style display shelves that you have some of them on.
I see some Legos there too. You’ve got a Lego Technic set, there’s some Star Wars stuff thrown into the mix. Not bad.
That castle on the top shelf looks very familiar but I can’t place what it’s from. I want to say it’s part of a Little People set but I’m probably wrong about that. If anyone knows what it’s from let me know in the comments or something, because I’m genuinely curious. It looks alright though. Points awarded for the toy collection.
My problem with this setup though is that it looks messy, and it has to do with the toys.
I’m not sure why the toys make it look messy, but they do. I spent about 20 minutes staring at the picture trying to figure out what exactly makes the toys come across as messy, and I just can’t figure it out.
I think it might be the shelves you have them on? The toys by themselves are fine, and the shelves by themselves are also fine. But putting the toys on those shelves makes it look sloppy. Maybe it’s because they look bunched together? I think it might look better if the shelves weren’t attached to the computer desk. I don’t really know, I’ve managed to stump myself on this one somehow.
I want to give this a lower score, but since I can’t quite put my finger on what’s wrong here I’ll be fair and give it a 5/10.
12. Light and earthy
As I’ve said before, I’ve grown very fond of the earthy aesthetic. The fake ivy just goes well with battlestations for some reason.
Typically the ivy goes best with a white setup, since the dark green and the white contrast with one another. In this case, the person has used the ivy with a black setup. Normally this wouldn’t look very good, but in this case the white walls, the white desk drawers with the faux-wood top, the white chair, and the white shelves offset the dark on dark. The white lights from the lamp, the computer, and the desk only enhance this further and create a beautiful aesthetic. That lone blue light on the left even looks good with the setup. And, in one of the boldest moves I’ve seen on a battlestation, this person has also utilized squares of astro turf as decor.
Seriously, the lighting here is incredible. It’s easily my favorite part of the whole thing. This person did a great job, I can’t think of anything bad to say about the setup or anything I’d improve on.
Congratulations to LonelyWolf_93, your setup has just joined the AJnet Mag Perfect 10 Club. This setup gets a 10/10 from me.
I’m still not sure if I want to do these every month or every other month, but either way I’ll be doing these a lot more now. If you want me to include your battlestation in a future review send it to us here, preferably with the subject line “Battlestation Submission” or something like that.
Last Updated on August 20, 2024