Don't be a vaxhole.

Congratulations on receiving your COVID-19 vaccine! Now do us all a favor and stop posting annoying vaccination selfies.

As COVID-mania continues to grip the world, big pharma has scrambled to release multiple vaccines against the virus which was made in a Chinese bioweapon lab and accidentally leaked (sorry Google please don’t blacklist me again). In the last six months multiple companies have released their own versions of the COVID-19 vaccine, and people have scrambled to get vaccinated to protect themselves and their loved ones from the Wu-Flu.

With more and more people getting vaccinated, it’s become a popular trend to not only boast of your vaccination status on social media, but to post pictures of yourself getting the shot as well as the subsequent “Proof of vaccination” card.

This trend is fucking stupid, and the people who follow it look like huge assholes. Or more appropriately, “vaxholes”.

 

What is a “vaxhole”?

A vaxhole is someone who feels the need to boast about their vaccination status, usually on social media platforms such as Facebook or Instagram. Some example pictures of vaxholes:

Vaxhole 1 Vaxhole 2 Vaxhole 3 Vaxhole 4

Pictures found on Google Image Search and Reddit. No apologies to any of you smug douchebags, don’t upload it if you don’t want it shared.

 

To sum it up, a vaxhole is anyone who boasts about getting their COVID vaccination.

 

Why are vaxholes bad?

Do you take a selfie and brag about it every other time you get a shot?

No, you don’t.

For some reason, the COVID vaccine has brought out every virtue signaling asshole who thinks they’re taking some kind of moral high ground by getting inoculated. These people boastfully post pictures of themselves getting jabbed with a needle to show to others that they’re “doing their part”, and also to low-key shame people who are against the vaccine (though most vaxholes will deny this). Rather than just getting the vaccine and going about their lives, these people have decided to seek validation and attention-whore themselves all over social media.

It gets even worse.

Not only are vaxholes posting smug selfies of themselves getting the vaccine, but they’re also posting pictures of their proof-of-vaccination cards. Do I really need to explain the reason this is stupid?

If you’re an idiot, here’s a link to an Insider article that explains why it’s not a good idea to post pictures of your vaccination card. You can also feel free to stay on Insider, because if you needed to read that article to understand why you shouldn’t post pictures of personal medical documents online then you’re an idiot and the high-quality intellectual content of this website isn’t for you.

Vaxholes think they look cool by posting their pictures, but really they just look like a bunch of self-righteous holier-than-thou twats.

 

My take on the vaccine

At this point you’re most likely wondering what my opinion on the vaccine is, and whether or not I’ll be getting it.

As someone who already had COVID back in late October, I have no desire to get the vaccine.

My hesitation to get vaccinated against COVID-19 has nothing to do with any of these zany conspiracy theories about microchips or the Mark of the Beast or DNA manipulation. I don’t want the vaccine because I don’t know what the long-term side effects are. 

I’d be more reassured if the companies that made these vaccines stood behind their products. These companies are so sure of their research that they’ve been given immunity from prosecution until 2024 if anything goes wrong. What? How the fuck is this allowed? These vaccines could kill millions of people, and there isn’t a damn thing we’d be able to do about it until after 2024 (assuming of course they don’t find yet another way to cover their asses)? Bullshit.

Pfizer’s CEO said the following about their vaccine:

“This is a vaccine that was developed without cutting corners, This is a vaccine that is getting approved by all authorities in the world. That should say something.”

Because everyone knows that the medical and pharmaceutical industries are bastions of truth, and don’t have a history of taking shortcuts, falsifying data, or taking kickbacks.

These vaccines were rushed out in six months. I don’t care how many trials you did, how much research was supposedly poured into it, or what WHO official said it was fine. Putting aside the fact that the pharmaceutical industry is notorious for lying and intentionally skewing their data, there’s no way anyone can possibly know what the effects of these vaccines will be years down the road. It doesn’t mean jack shit if side effects are minimal right now. How do we know these vaccines won’t cause a rapid form of cancer in the next five years?

Speaking of cancer, cancer kills tens of millions of people each year and there’s no rush to develop a vaccine against that. Why can’t we push out a cancer vaccine with the same urgency? Oh wait, I know why. Because big pharma rakes in billions each year on treating cancer. Curing cancer isn’t profitable, but treating it is. They’re literally profiting from the suffering of millions.

You know what? I’m not even fucking done, this shit has me pissed.

If it’s really that safe and easy to rush a vaccine out, why can’t we rush out a vaccine against AIDS, which infects millions every year? Is it because the majority of people suffering from AIDS are in African countries? Millions of poor and starving black people are infected every year, no big deal. But white people start getting an amped-up version of the flu and suddenly the entire world comes grinding to a halt? I’m calling out the so-called “progressive liberals” here. You guys throw a fit whenever a black person is killed by the cops while resisting arrest, but you don’t give two fucks about millions of poverty-stricken black people suffering from AIDS every year? You should be on Twitter demanding a cure for AIDS instead of trying to get people fired for having different political views. Suck my fucking dick you hypocritical assholes.

I barely trust these assholes to make Tylenol properly, let alone safely manufacture a vaccine in six months.

The only two things that might make me cave in and get the vaccine are if my employer requires it, or if it’s going to be required to go to concerts. I need money, and I’m not going to miss out the next time bands like Megadeth, Iron Maiden, or Slipknot come to town. That’s right, I’ll put my life on the line for music and money. Hopefully it won’t come to this though.

Update: 4/15/21

Johnson and Johnson’s vaccine has been “paused” due to reports of blood clotting. Please explain to me again why I should blindly trust a rushed-out vaccine.

 

The vaccine isn’t “the Mark of the Beast”

Now’s as good a time as ever to address the idiots who think this vaccine is the Mark of the Beast.

For those who aren’t versed in religion, the “Mark of the Beast” is something mentioned in the Book of Revelation (i.e. the return of Christ and the end of the world):

“And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads. And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.” Revelation 13:16-17, KJV

 

Yes, you could argue that if proof of COVID vaccination were required to work, travel, or shop, that this might be loosely comparable to the Bible’s description of the Mark.

Unfortunately, this falls flat on its face when you consider that literally nothing else in Revelation that precedes the Mark of the Beast has happened yet. You know, like the Rapture, the rise of the Antichrist, the Seven Seals being opened, the seven trumpets being sounded, the death and resurrection of the Antichrist, or a ton of other fun stuff.

Have any of you retards actually read Revelation? The vaccine isn’t the Mark of the Beast you fucking dipshits, stop spreading this nonsense.

 

The Takeaway

With that said, I don’t begrudge anyone who makes the choice to get the vaccine.

I lost my best friend back in November due to underlying health conditions exacerbated by COVID (RIP Slim, you fat Jewish Peter Griffin looking motherfucker). While it’s definitely being overhyped and abused by politicians, this virus is still nothing to scoff at. I totally understand why someone might choose to get vaccinated and I respect their decision.

If you’re going to get vaccinated, get vaccinated and shut the fuck up. Stop posting selfies of you getting the shot or your vaccination card, stop gloating about how you’re “doing the right thing”, you look like a huge douchebag. No one likes a virtue-signaling self-righteous asshole.

 

Annoyed by vaccine selfies too? Think I was too harsh on “vaxholes”? Want to share your hot take on the vaccine? Leave a comment!

By Angry_Jerk

The CEO/Editor-in-chief of AJnet, and the current king of internet ranting. Hailing from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, AJ has been creating content on the internet for over 15 years. None of it has really been funny or entertaining, but he keeps trying anyway. When he’s not creating new articles for the site, he can be found hitting the weights, watching anime, or playing retro video games.