Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself… because he’s not dead.
Sounds crazy, right? I know it does but hear me out.
We all know about the pedophile network Epstein was running, how many of his clients were among society’s most wealthy and powerful, how once he got arrested it would only be a matter of time before he was killed by those wealthy and powerful people. Really, we all expected him to die in prison from “suicide”, the internet was buzzing with speculation of the sort.
Sure enough, Epstein lasted about a month before his “suicide” (he also tried to kill himself/was attacked by his cellmate on July 23, but survived). The internet caught fire with whodunnit speculations, the top two favorites being Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Indeed, there were a lot of powerful people who were now in danger of being dimed out for diddling little kids. We knew his death was coming, and sure enough it came.
Of course, questions were raised. Why was funding for the prison cut right around that time? How did the guard “fall asleep” on the job? Why was screaming heard coming from Epstein’s cell right before his death? Obviously something shady happened and the public wasn’t having any of it. “Epstein didn’t kill himself” has become another internet meme, being randomly spouted on
4chan 4channel, Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, and pretty much everywhere you can find idiots posting memes.
Being an avid conspiracy theorist, I of course agree Epstein did not kill himself. However, I’ll raise you an even more interesting prospect: Jeffrey Epstein isn’t really dead.
I of course have no proof for this claim, so if you’re reading this expecting some kind of hardcore bombshell evidence then you’re going to be highly disappointed. What I do propose is a plausible theory, and a train of reasoning to justify this theory.
I believe that Epstein’s suicide was staged, and that he was removed from jail and is currently in an undisclosed location, possibly being interrogated for more intel on the massive pedophile network he was involved with.
I’ll cover my version of the who, what, and how in a moment, but first I want to give my rationale for making this boisterous claim in a way that will let you draw your own conclusions from my theory.
Why would Epstein fake his death?
First, the impact of Epstein’s arrest was huge, and it wasn’t really all that sudden. Epstein had been on the radar since at least 2005 for playing the kiddy fiddle, and was even convicted. To think that authorities hadn’t continued to watch him after this is just naive. If conspiracy theorists on the internet knew about his dealings on his island, his underage sex plane, and who some of his most important clients were, of course the FBI and various other intelligence agencies knew more. People have a habit of either giving intelligence agencies too much credit or too little credit, and in this case you wouldn’t be giving them enough credit if you assumed they didn’t know the whole time that this was going on. Obviously what kept Epstein from being brought down and spending the rest of his life playing a skin flute concerto behind bars was his powerful connections (I would assume blackmail was involved here to keep clients in check).
Any investigating agency would also know that Epstein was protected by powerful people, and would understand the sensitive nature of these dealings he had. They would also understand the risks associated with arresting Epstein, including what might happen if he were successfully caught and put on trial. Epstein had dirt on some of the most powerful people in the world, tangible dirt that could have been in the form of logs, videos, photos, or anything else. And not just any kind of dirt. Pedophilia is a very serious accusation, one that brings down entire companies and empires. Some of Epstein’s alleged clients were the Clintons, Donald Trump, and Prince Andrew. There are many more possible clients, you can search any online conspiracy theory website and find other names and theories associated with them, but I’ll leave it up to you to dive down that messy rabbit hole. Put simply, Epstein had dirt on people who could- and would- have him killed if they felt there was the chance he would give them up. When the guy who has proof that you committed acts of pedophilia gets arrested by the feds, your first thought would naturally be “Oh crap, he might snitch.” Epstein actually had a history of working with the FBI (just click the links in the article that go directly to the FBI’s archives) and diming out fellow pedophiles to save himself. There was every reason in the world to assume that Epstein would “commit suicide” if arrested.
Any intelligence agency would know this, so any reasonably intelligent intelligence agency would prepare for this in some form. This is, after all, a high profile arrest. It would look bad on the FBI if they let Epstein get whacked in jail before he could talk, especially after the general public was joking that it would happen. Being that he’s in the limelight, you can’t just put a sack over his head and drag him off to some black site. Witness protection for someone of his public profile would be next to impossible, especially in this day and age where everyone has a camera and social media at their fingertips. On top of that, it would be safe to assume that at least some of the people Epstein allegedly did business with would have moles inside various intelligence agencies and could easily find out what safehouse he’s being kept at. People with that kind of clout could also breach the most secure of facilities to get to Epstein. So what can you really do to hide someone who has that many powerful enemies?
You make them think he’s already dead.
Indeed, one of the best bets at keeping Jeffrey Epstein alive would be to fake his death in a way that was believable. What more believable way than to make it look like a suicide which looks like a hit? Nobody is going to ask “Is Epstein still alive?”, they’re going to be busy asking “Who killed Epstein and made it look like a suicide?”. Meanwhile all the people who he had dirt on are probably assuming that one of his other enemies got him and won’t look too hard into it right away, if at all.
The “official story” holds up like wet toilet paper.
Let’s look at his so-called “suicide”. It has all the hallmarks of being poorly staged:
- Sleeping guards
- Faulty security cameras
- Cut funding to the holding facility
- High profile prisoner with info on powerful people
- Screaming before his body was found
- Previous suicide attempt, followed by quick removal from suicide watch
This comes across like something from a movie. No sane and rational person would believe for even a second that Epstein killed himself.
Let me ask you this. Do you think that, with as powerful as some of Epstein’s clients were, they would have him killed in such a sloppy and obvious manner? Again, this isn’t the 50’s, this is 2019, where there are cameras everywhere, logs of everything, and people just waiting to be the next big whistle-blower. To successfully pull a hit off in this manner, the assassin would have had to do the following:
- Enter the prison (maybe he was even already a prisoner, prisoners carry out hits all the time on each other)
- Disable multiple security cameras. Not just the ones inside the area Epstein was being held in, but the ones leading to that area as well. A clever assassin might take out the whole system temporarily, though reports allege that it was only a few cameras that weren’t working.
- Make it past multiple guards to get to that area, which was most likely higher security and not somewhere you could just walk right into.
- Deal with the guards tasked with watching Epstein. Two guards were posted to Epstein and instructed to check his cell every 30 minutes. They allegedly fell asleep for three hours. Bribery would be the easiest way to deal with them, though you could probably also drug them.
- Unlock Epstein’s cell. Not hard if you did all the other stuff, the guards themselves probably unlocked it.
- Pay off the coroner and various other officials to say it was a suicide.
This is a lot of difficult and risky work. It would be easier to just set him up to get shanked by another prisoner. Why go through all of this when you could just slip some prisoners some money and say “Hey, kill this pedophile”? Pedophiles are major targets in prison, it would be way more believable for Epstein to have been shanked with a shiv than what supposedly happened.
However, it would have been fairly easy for the FBI to arrange something of this nature, without Epstein actually being killed of course. The FBI could easily have arranged for cameras to go down while they removed Epstein and took him to another place (I’ll touch on where he could have been taken further on). Any prison employees who knew something was up would have been told not to ask questions or they would lose their jobs for interfering with an FBI operation. The coroner and any other relevant officials would have also been told to some extent what was up, and also told to keep their mouths shut or lose their jobs and possibly face charges for interfering with an FBI operation. Paying off a bunch of people to look the other way and lie for you while you kill someone is much harder than telling people “Government business, stay out”, and runs more risk of someone feeling guilty later and going to the authorities.
So preemptively staging Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide in a manner that made it look like someone got him before he could talk would make a lot of sense if you wanted to prevent someone from actually killing him in prison.
How it could have went down
With my rationale explained, let me tell you what I personally think happened.
I believe that after the first attempt on Epstein’s life back in July, the government realized it was going to be hard to keep him safe in prison. They couldn’t just move him to another prison, and there was always the possibility of him being killed on his way to court. Any trial would be highly publicized, and if he miraculously survived the trial he would surely be killed in any prison he was sent to. Epstein had valuable intel, he needed to be kept alive. As such, the government struck a deal with Epstein: We’ll fake your death and move you somewhere safe, so long as you agree to give us information to go after the other people involved in your network. Only a handful of highly trusted agents were involved with this to minimize the chance that this info would get back to the people who wanted Epstein dead. Epstein’s legal team also agreed to this, as it was better than their client running the risk of being killed in prison.
But how to fake his death convincingly? The public already expected him to be killed in prison, and plenty of people already wanted to have him killed in prison. The most believable thing would be to make it appear as though he committed suicide under suspicious circumstances. This way both the public and Epstein’s enemies would assume someone killed him in prison as expected, and wouldn’t look too much further. Federal agents came to the already understaffed prison, ordered the cameras to be disabled and any footage scrubbed, told guards that a federal operation was underway and to stay away from the scene, and Epstein was removed and taken to an undisclosed location known only by one or two agents. A coroner and some officials were told to publicly declare him dead as part of a government operation. People would be too busy trying to figure out who had him killed to even think that maybe he wasn’t dead at all. It was essentially a conspiracy masquerading as another conspiracy.
But where would they hide Epstein in the long-term? There would be no way to hide him in another correctional facility, keeping him in a government safehouse would be risky as well due to his notoriety. The best possible place to hide Epstein after faking his death would be his own island. None of his old “friends” would ever risk coming back to what was now the scene of a federal investigation for a child sex trafficking ring, and even if someone did suspect that he faked his own death they wouldn’t expect him to return there. Hiding on a small island in the Caribbean would be the best possible choice for keeping someone from being found after staging their death. After federal agents cleared the place, Epstein was brought back and allowed to remain on his island under heavy FBI supervision. The risk of him fleeing would be next to none, as many powerful people wanted him dead, and his island had pretty much everything he needed anyway. From the safety of his personal island, he continues to give the FBI pertinent information about the people he did business with.
What happens next is uncertain. His island was placed into the care of a trust, and his money left to two of his closest employees from his company, so theoretically the 66 year-old Epstein could live out the rest of his life on his island without too much hassle. Alternatively, since he’s already been declared dead it would be way easier for someone to kill him if they figured out he was still alive and where he was. If he truly is still alive and giving the FBI all his intel, it would follow that we should start seeing some more high-profile busts in the next year or two.
I’m willing to accept that I’m wrong, after all it’s called “conspiracy theory” for a reason. However, it’s highly obvious that something is wrong with the official story of Epstein’s death, and that it wasn’t simply a suicide. Some choose to blame the Clintons or Trump, I myself believe it was staged to protect a high profile informant and get further information from him.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments, and feel free to share this on social media to get others thinking.
3/6/20: I have also discussed this on my podcast! You can listen here.
This article has been cross-posted to Medium.