11 years. That’s how long I’ve been writing for this site.
I had other incarnations of AngryJerk.net, ones that weren’t actually AngryJerk.net and were hosted on various venues such as Tripod (remember that shit?) and someone else’s webspace. Those don’t count, because they weren’t AngryJerk.net.
During those 11 years, I watched the landscape of the internet change drastically. I watched text-based ranting slowly wither up and die, making way for the rise of YouTube and podcasting. For years I fought back and resisted this change, continuing stubbornly and defiantly to write my articles as assholes like The Amazing Athiest and Fred churned out shitty video after shitty video, which their audiences lapped up like starving dogs being fed table scraps. Sure, I tried a few forays into the world of YouTube. Remember Operation Desecration? Of course you don’t, because those forays ended in disaster. I can’t even watch those old videos I made now, because I fucking cringe at how terrible they were. And so I retreated back to the safety of my keyboard, denying the very obvious truth that my medium was dying a slow death. My numbers continued to dwindle, I watched all my fellow ranters die. Bob Smash, Ninja Pirate, pretty much everyone on Rantlister. Even Maddox became a total fucking cuck, trying to sue Dick Masterson, Asterios Kokkinos, and Patreon for $20,000,000. Everyone else fell, I was slowly fading along with them.
No more. AngryJerk.net is moving to the next medium. I’ve already stormed the gates of Twitch and YouTube, I’m unleashing the wrath of AJnet upon Twitter, and now I’m going for your ears.
I am proud to announce:
Tired of partisan politics? Me too. Tired of people being afraid to call out other peoples’ bullshit? Me too. Tired of try-hard edgelords attempting shock humor and falling flat on their stupid faces? Me too. Tired of the entire internet turning into a giant safe-space for fucking pussies? Me too. Tired of everyone promising how different they are from the norm, then just being more of the same old rehashed overdone shit? Me fucking too.
This podcast will be different from anything you’ve ever listened to. I’ve never pulled my punches, I’ve never sworn my allegiance to others, and I’ve never been afraid to go against the grain and challenge popular opinion. Nothing and nobody will be safe from my wrath. I’m going to rock the internet so hard that the UN will have to deploy child molesters- I mean, Peacekeepers, to my house to drag me to the Hague for war crimes. By the end of my podcasts, you’ll most likely be left saying things like “Hmm, I never really thought of it that way”, and “Wait a minute, I never knew that! That’s fucking crazy!”. I’m going to change your perspective of the world around you. Forget that red pill bullshit, I’m going to tear down the entire fucking matrix and show you all the bullshit that’s really going on. The left nut and the right nut? Fuck them both, I’m going be the big swinging dick in the middle and tell them both why they’re fucking idiots.
Expect the first episode before Christmas. Currently I’m considering a monthly release, but my intent is to go for a bi-weekly release schedule, then eventually a weekly. There are plans to eventually stream the podcasts live to Twitch as well, though that won’t be for the first couple or so.
The internet needs a hero. The internet needs Angry Jerk.