Am I the only one who realizes how fucking stupid Daylight Savings Time is?
I’m still trying to figure out exactly what purpose this shit serves. “Spring forward, Fall back”. Great, for fucking what? Why am I losing an hour of sleep tonight? Can anyone tell me what actual purpose Daylight Savings Time servers in this modern era of on-demand TV, fiber-optic internet, and partisan politics? I think the “official” reason had something to do with farmers, when this shit was first put into effect back in 1918. I don’t really know, I only vaguely remember reading something like that. I don’t care enough to read up on the history of this ass-backwards mess that makes Baby Jesus weep with shame. It’s boring enough living it, why would I want to read about it too?
But it’s about giving farmers more daylight or something, I think. Fuck farmers, seriously. How many farmers are there in the US? How many not-farmers are there in the US? Exactly, there’s more of us normal human beings than there are farmers. And it’s not even actually giving them more daylight, it’s just bumping shit up by an hour. Are farmers actually this fucking stupid? All we have to do is bump the clocks up an hour and they think it’s affected the Earth’s rotation? Farmer Brown? More like Farmer Clown.
Even so, what do farmers need more daylight for? Humans have been farming since the dawn of time without “Daylight Savings Time”. If you went back to the Roman Empire and suggested they adjusted their sun dials once a year to give them more sunlight they’d beat your dweeb ass, feed you to some lions, then go back to fucking little boys. Even the faggots would think you’re a faggot. Serious, what kind of dumb shit is that?
We need to end this bullshit. The world doesn’t revolve around some dumb fucking farmers who suck so bad at their job that they need to be tricked into thinking there’s more sunlight. And if there’s any other reason we still practice DST, it’s probably fucking stupid too and I don’t even care about this shit anymore. Daylight Savings Time is boring to live, read about, AND write about.
Hailing from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, AJ has been creating content on the internet for over 15 years. None of it has really been funny or entertaining, but he keeps trying anyway. Maybe he's bored, maybe he's drunk, maybe he's both.