Aqua Teen Hunger Force sucks


The other night, I had the misfortune of watching “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” for the first time. My experience left me feeling akin to a rape victim; Confused, hurt, and angry. For those who actually watch the show, it’s the episode where that balding guy meets a parody of Vince Offer from the ShamWow commercials, and Master Shake keeps taunting him with lasagna on a fishing line.

Why the fuck do so many people like this stupid piece of shit? It’s inane and nonsensical to the point of being retarded. Yeah, I understand that most of the show’s humor is supposed to come from this, but the show didn’t make me laugh even once. I laugh at everything. No, seriously. You could say “Poopy potato” and I’d bust out laughing at it. When you can’t make the guy with a severely immature sense of humor laugh, you obviously fucked up.

Most of the gags are repetitive to the point where by the end of the episode you’re wishing they’d just knock it the fuck off already. “HURRR DURRR YOU WANT THIS DELICIOUS LASAGNA???? HAHA YOU CANT GET IT!” “I KNOW YOUR JUST FUCKIN WITH ME BUT IM GONNA KEEP TRYING ANYWAY EVEN TO THE POINT OF JUMPING OUT OF A HOSPITAL WINDOW.” Calm down motherfucker, you aren’t Garfield. Even Garfield is funnier than this bukkake of bullshit. Adult Swim should drop this gay show and replace it with an adult version of Garfield, where Jon is an angry cynical 40-year-old virgin and routinely beats Garfield for stealing his food. Garfield would take his pain out by being even meaner to Odie than he already is. Fuck, anything would be better than Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Really, what the fuck? Cartoon Network drops “Sym-bionic Titan”, but they keep this retarded-ass show? Some boardroom execs need to be bitchslapped for this douchefuckery. I should make a cartoon series called “Boardroom Bitchslap”. Every episode would consist solely of the main character walking into a random boardroom meeting and smacking the shit out of every suit-wearing motherfucker in the room. That’s it, just random people in suits getting smacked around for 15 minutes. The show would still be funnier than half of the shows on Adult Swim, especially Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force? More like Aqua Teen Homo Force, amirite? Fuck this show, and fuck anyone who thinks it’s funny.


Hailing from the fine village of Northeast Philadelphia, AJ has been creating content on the internet for over 15 years. None of it has really been funny or entertaining, but he keeps trying anyway. Maybe he's bored, maybe he's drunk, maybe he's both.