14. Yahoo! Answers. When you don’t really need an answer as much as you need a moral evaluation of your question, Yahoo! Answers is a great place to seek advice. It’s also a great place to obtain brain damage from beating your own head in frustration.
15. ThePirateBay fantards. ThePirateBay is a sinking ship, and is going to end up going the same way as Napster. With all the press it’s been getting, only a fool wouldn’t expect to get busted by the MPAA and RIAA using the site. But please, feel free to “go down with the ship”.
16. Assholes who interrupt you in the middle of a conversation with someone else. I can’t begin to count the number of times where I’ve tried to have a serious conversation with someone, and some dumb ass motherfucker just comes walking up flapping their gums and talking over me, and stands there prattling away until we stop our conversation to listen to them. I actually backhanded one of my friends for doing this.
17. Excessive campaign signs. Nothing makes me want to vote for someone more than seeing 50 of their campaign signs on the same 20 foot traffic island, and nothing makes me want to re-elect them more than still seeing those same campaign signs three months after they were elected.
18. Guys who get freaked out over other guys pretending to be gay. Who’s more likely to be gay: The guy comfortable enough with his heterosexuality to put on a lisp and make jokes about taking it in the ass, or the guy who gets freaked out and defensive towards the guy who’s obviously just joking around about being gay? You’re not going to “catch the gay”, so stop being an insecure pussy.
19. Dumb-ass motherfuckers who feel compelled to step on my piles of dirt when I’m sweeping. Brooms are people-magnets. Seriously. I’ll start sweeping an area, and all of the sudden it becomes a fucking parade route. Where were you assholes when I wasn’t sweeping? Then they’ll get annoyed at me because I’m supposedly in their way? No motherfucker, you’re in MY way. Now stop being an asshole and move before I shove this broomstick up your ass.
20. People who buy an entire newspaper for the sports section. I have yet to encounter someone who has purchased a newspaper for anything more than the sports section. The world is on the brink of annihilating itself, and the only thing you stupid cocksuckers care about is how the local baseball or football team is doing? Fuck the Phillies, and fuck you.
21. Dipshits who mumble something to you incoherently, then get pissed off when you ignore them or ask them to repeat themselves multiple times. I don’t speak thug, nor do I speak fractured or heavily-accented English. If I can’t understand you after the third time, I’m just going to nod and agree, since what you’re saying probably isn’t important anyway.
22. People who don’t know where the fuck they’re walking. Ever walk down the sidewalk, only to be slowed down by some dumbass who weaves back and forth in front of you for no goddamn reason? It’s even worse when there’s more than one person. Like dumbasses on parade. Get the fuck out of my way, assholes.
23. Girls who make the “duck face” in pictures. Don’t know what the “duck face” is? Here’s an entire website dedicated to hating it. Shit’s fucking retarded, and can ruin a perfectly good fapping picture.
24. Wolf Blitzer. Maybe it’s his smug-looking face, or his “holier-than-thou” voice. I don’t know, but every time I see that cocksucker on TV, I want to cock my fist back and break his face.
25. Having to piss with a boner. Any guy who finds themselves wondering why this would be annoying probably doesn’t have a dick, or has a very small one.
26. Fluffy toilet lid covers. Why do people use toilet lid covers? They serve no real purpose other than being kind of comfortable should you choose to sit on the toilet for something other than taking a shit. On top of that, they make it hard to keep the seat up when I’m pissing. Usually the seat falls down mid-piss and I get hit with the very brief backspray, making me look like an asshole at someone else’s house.
27. Guys who are all over their girlfriends in public. I fucking hate it when I’m eyeing up some hotty, and all of the sudden Douchey McDouche comes in from nowhere, gaying up the place with his incessant touching and talking. Obviously Douchey McDouche gets insecure around guys like me, and has to remind me that the hotty is HIS, and not mine. As if that’s ever stopped me before.
If you’re wondering why this list starts at 14, see this article.