The Alphabet of AngryJerk.net

Maddox has the Alphabet of Manliness. I have the Alphabet of AngryJerk.net.

A is for:

AngryJerk.net. What the fuck did you expect it to be?

B is for:

Back to the Future, my favorite movie evar.

C is for:

Censorship, which can suck my cock. Hey, cock also begins with “C”. What a coincidence! Oh shit, coincidence begins with “C” too! That’s just fucking crazy. Oh fuck man, crazy also begins with- okay, I’ll stop now.

D is for:

Dr. Pepper, the nectar of the gods. Also, Dystheism, and the Dead Kennedys (before East Bay Ray sold them out like the faggot he is).

E is for:

“Evil Genius”, Pat Benatar’s most underrated song.

F is for:

Faggot, which describes everyone except me.

G is for:

Grace Slick, my inspiration for time travel.

H is for:

Haters, who are always going to hate.

I is for:

Internet, where I can use racial slurs without fear of reprisal, and Iron Maiden, the most awesome metal band ever.

J is for:

Johannson, as in Scarlett Johannson, who I would bang the fucking shit out of.

K is for:

Katy Perry, who I would also bang the fucking shit out of.

L is for:

Laugh, something you will not do once when reading my website. It also stands for Lost, which was an awesome series.

M is for:

Mature porn, which I download in copious amounts.

N is for:

NewEgg.com, an insatiable and addictive money hole. Also, Nightwish.

O is for:

Orson Welles, the greatest prankster to ever live. Also, the Offspring.

P is for:

Phoenix. Both the mythological bird that resurrects from its own ashes, and the Flash series that I’ve neglected.

Q is for:

Quack quack quack!

…

Come on, haven’t you seen The Mighty Ducks?

…

No?

…

Well fuck you then asshole.

R is for:

Rantlister.com, which is an awesome website and needs more forum members.

S is for:

Señor Juan, who has returned from his trip to Mexico and may or may not be working on an article for this site. S is also for sorry, as in “Sorry, but I’m not going to give you the attention you seek by dropping your name on my website.”

T is for:

Tarja fuckin’ Turunen, my soulmate and the queen of this website. And don’t forget about “Trolled!”, like I have for the past year or so. Speaking of years, T also stands for time travel.

U is for:

Uhhhh…

V is for:

V, the awesome science fiction series from the 1980’s. I guess I’ll also include the remake in this too, since it’s okay.

W is for:

Wumbo.

X is for:

Absolutely-fucking-nothing. Why is X even a fucking letter? Go to hell, X.

Y is for:

Yukon Jack, the official alcoholic beverage of this website.

Z is for:

Fuck this, I don’t feel like thinking of something for Z. This shit’s going up, and I’m going to bed.

Last Updated on May 7, 2024