Heath Ledger deserved an Oscar, now quit whining

Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker was great, and anyone who disagrees is a fucking idiot.

We had the Oscars on the TV, but I didn’t pay attention except for when Anthony Hopkins gave a short speech. Apparently Heath Ledger won an Oscar for his role as the Joker in “The Dark Knight”. I’ve heard people bitching about this saying “He only won it because he died!” I’m sure I could also hear them using those gay nicknames for Hollywood couples, like “TomKat” or “Bennifer.” I feel bad for Katie Holmes, because she clearly doesn’t want any part of Tom Cruise’s $cientology bullshit, yet if she left him they’d ruin her career in ways that only a multi-billion dollar business/cult fronting as a religion can.

Ledger won an Oscar because he stomped balls as the Joker. When I say stomped balls, I mean like when a sexy leather-clad dominatrix with stiletto heels has you cuffed to your bed and you’re expecting the whip but instead she catches you off guard and steps on your balls with her heels. Like everyone else, when I heard that one of the lead gay cowboys from Brokeback Mountain had been cast as the Joker, I expected failure. But then I saw the movie, and I shat bricks. I forgive Ledger for his role in Brokeback Mountain, and take back all the negative remarks I made about him when I learned of his casting.

Jack Nicholson was pissed when he heard that he wasn’t going to be considered to reprise his role as the Joker. Ledger’s Joker beat Nicholson’s Joker like a housewife who spoke without her husband’s permission. Nicholson’s Joker was some kind of Mafioso or some typical crime drama bullshit. Ledger’s Joker on the other hand was an unpredictable badass mental patient who fucked up anyone and everyone who got in his way. If some Mafioso with clown facepaint and a purple suit tried to pull some shakedown bullshit on me, I’d laugh as I choked him like the bitchmade pussy he was. Nicholson’s just butthurt that his days are over. In all fairness though, Nicholson has every reason to be jealous. Now when people think of the Joker in Batman movies, they aren’t going to be thinking of that faggot Mafioso. No, they’re going to be thinking of the badass sociopathic clown with a Glasgow smile who did whatever the fuck he wanted and ruined everyone’s shit.

Here’s a list of memorable stuff Ledger’s Joker did:

  • Escaped from Arkham Asylum (It’s not overtly stated, but it’s implied at the end of “Batman Begins”)
  • Robbed the Mafia
  • Killed a thug using nothing but a pencil and his bare hands
  • Killed Gambol, a black Mafioso who swore he was some kind of hard ass
  • Blew up a hospital because some jerk off was going to out Bruce Wayne as Batman
  • Turned Harvey Dent into Two-face
  • Killed the alcoholic police commissioner
  • Infiltrated the police force during a parade and tried to kill the mayor, instead shooting Gordon
  • Nearly ruined Batman’s shit, and would have pulled it off if Gordon hadn’t faked his death
  • Burnt a huge ass pile of his own money for no reason
  • Screwed over the Chechnyan guy and fed him to his own dogs

Here’s a list of memorable stuff Nicholson’s Joker did:

Of course Ledger’s death played a decent part in him winning the Oscar, but he deserved it. I’m sure if Tom Cruise left $cientology and then mysteriously committed suicide the next day, he’d get an Oscar for whatever movie he was filming. That is, if the church didn’t use their magic powers (the power to pull strings behind the scenes) to interfere. The difference is, Tom Cruise hasn’t done anything good that I can recall, while Ledger rocked his last role. If Ledger hadn’t died, I’m sure the Oscar would have gone to some no-talent lame ass who starred in some fruity chick-flick. Then, they’d give an apathetic speech and pretend to cry.

Whenever a movie based around a comic book comes out, all the nerds whine about how it didn’t follow the original comic to a T. They’re usually right. Most comic book movies don’t, since most original comics have outdated themes, are too unbelievable, or just not interesting enough for today’s audiences. For example, Wolverine didn’t join the X-Men until a bit later. Pick up an old comic book and compare it to one today. The old Batman comics were campy and geared more towards younger audiences, while today’s seem to be geared toward the same children who are now adults. The original Joker was some guy who fell into a vat of chemicals and had his skin bleached and his hair turned green. While Ledger’s Joker differed greatly from this, he made his version just as good.

Everyone who’s whining about how Ledger didn’t deserve an Oscar should shut up. Who would you have rather had as the Joker? Sean Penn, the guy who turned his Oscar speech into a political springboard in typical liberal faggot Hollywood style? Please. I hope they don’t recast the Joker so soon. And please, FUCKING PLEASE, do NOT put Harley Quinn in it. She’s annoying.

I demand to see Poison Ivy played by a natural redhead, not some Uma Thurman dyed hair bitch. I nominate Laura Prepon, best known for her role as Donna on “That 70’s Show”:

While not the spitting image of Poison Ivy in this picture, with a little bit of fine-tuning she’d make it in terms of appearance. As for her acting, I think it’s a worthwhile gamble to take.

Fuck I wish someone on /b/ would start a redhead thread again.