My cheeseburger

Five days ago, I was very hungry and wanted something good to eat.

I looked in the fridge and found two ground beef patties. I also noticed some leftover bacon from the other day’s breakfast. I threw together a bunch of spices and seasoned the burger, then I cooked that mother fucker. The result? A bacon double FUCK YEAH! Now I can’t stop thinking about that burger. I pass up sex so I can masturbate to the memory of my experience with my Fuck Yeah Burger. My girlfriend told me that if I loved the burger so much I should go marry it. I told her the wedding is on the 4th of July, because the only way this burger could be any more American is if I used food coloring to make it red white and blue.

I’m supposed to be packing stuff because I’m moving at the end of the week, but instead I’m writing about my burger from five days ago. My burger is so awesome that the Hamburglar said fuck you to McDonald’s and now he’s hanging outside of my house like I don’t know he’s watching me type this or something. Yeah that’s right Hamburglar. I’M ON TO YOU AND YOUR TRICKS. YOU TOUCH MY BURGER AND YOU’RE DEAD MOTHER FUCKER.

Because I’m such a nice guy, I’m going to share my recipe with everyone.

Just kidding fagbait. Go to hell.