Hey England, are you guys okay?

What’s going on across the pond in merry old England these days?

Hey England, it’s your cousin America. I’m just conducting a wellness check on you guys.

The British government has been edging towards a nanny state for a while now, but from what I’ve been seeing recently it seems like they’re heading full steam ahead right off a cliff into the plot of 1984.

I started following this last year after hearing about anti-immigration riots. From what I understand, there’s been an influx of crimes being committed in England by foreigners, mostly of Middle Eastern descent. Rather than take a step back and say “Hey, maybe we should slow down on letting these people in”, the British government doubled down and brought even more in. And not only that, but they’ve been arresting British citizens for taking to social media to protest.

Last August, a guy snapped and knifed three people to death. The attacker was actually born in England to two Christian immigrants from Rwanda, but a bunch of people jumped the gun and blamed Muslim immigrants, burning down a mosque in “retaliation”. The incident kicked off anti-immigration riots across England.

The London Metro Police were rightly pissed, but rather than approach an already delicate situation with any kind of tact or finesse, the police commissioner started having British people arrested for posting anti-immigration stuff on social media. And not only did he go after Brits, he also threatened to have Americans extradited to England to face prosecution for posting anti-immigration stuff.

Say what?

I’m not about killing cops, but any London Metro Police officer, or any police officer representing a foreign government for that matter, who shows up at my door looking to extradite me for an online post will be treated as foreign military personnel conducting a military operation against an American citizen on American soil, and will be dealt with accordingly. Put simply, they’re going back home in a coffin. That is, if anyone can actually locate their bodies. The Pine Barrens are only an hour drive from here. Fuck around and find out, bobbies:

ngl that whole last paragraph was just an excuse to justify posting this comic

We have entire history curriculums and holidays based around the last two times you stupid limey cunts tried to take us on. Wanna go for the trifecta? Seriously, I would absolutely love to see British cops try to come and arrest Americans for internet posts. We’re the most heavily-armed population in the world, the London Metro Police will get a history lesson real fucking fast.

Thankfully, us Yanks don’t actually have anything to worry about. Just like my last two paragraphs, the Metro Police commissioner’s threat was nothing more than hyperbole. Nobody is getting extradited to England over a shitpost. Donald Trump is president, the only foreign government that has any power over Americans’ free speech is Israel.

I’m not condoning burning down the mosque either, going after innocent people in a place of worship isn’t right, even if the perpetrator had been Muslim. But the response is a sign of British peoples’ growing frustration, and it highlights a bigger issue. Obviously the British people are fed up with their government’s immigration policies, which by all appearances seem to consist of “Are you non-white? Then come on in!”. I’ve never been one to buy into the “great replacement” conspiracy theories, but when I see governments making pledges to meet quotas of mass-importing immigrants from third world countries while arresting their own people for protesting against it, I can’t help but wonder if maybe there’s something to those conspiracy theories. At the very least the government is doing it to provide their corporate donors with a cheap labor source.

Clearly a good chunk of the British people are against this. As elected representatives, it’s the British government’s job to act on behalf of the British people. But instead of exercising any kind of self-awareness, the British government is punishing its own people for voicing their displeasure with immigration policies. What the fuck?

Look, I get that some of these people protesting are legitimately white supremacists and Nazis, but that doesn’t mean all of them are, and that also doesn’t mean there’s not a valid concern about opening the flood gates and letting in hundreds of thousands of foreigners from third world shitholes like Syria or India. You saw what they did to their own countries, now you want to blindly let them into yours? Are you fucking retarded or something? I’m not saying it’s a good idea to not allow anyone at all in, but there needs to be some judgement exercised. People need to be vetted first to make sure they’re not scumbags.

And, for fuck’s sake, if they start committing crimes they need to be thrown the fuck out. Stories like this one about “grooming gangs” are becoming all too common in England. Here, have another one. In this case social workers and police knew what was going on but didn’t do shit. Sure, the perps all got prison sentences, but I don’t understand why they weren’t sent back to their home countries. Why should the British people have to pay their room and board? Send them back to Syria or whatever goat fucker country they came from. Oh, they’re refugees and might get treated inhumanely by their own government? Too fucking bad, should have thought about that before raping teenage girls. As far as I’m concerned I’d be happy to hear that the Syrian government was torturing child rapists.

Extreme examples for sure, but these are the kind of subhuman animals you risk letting in when you blindly allow immigrants into your country.

But don’t let the grooming gangs fool you. England definitely cares about the children. In fact, they care so much about the children that they’re now requiring websites to verify the age of users via facial recognition and other invasive methods. Any websites that refuse to comply with this law risk being fined or banned from being viewed in the UK.

Yes, that’s exactly what we need, a database full of people’s identities and other personal information that totally won’t be hacked and leaked onto the dark web, and totally won’t find its way into the hands of identity thieves and deranged individuals looking to settle scores with people who pissed them off online. That will surely keep the children safe.

This is just another attempt to do away with anonymity. The internet is exposing crooked politicians, screwing giant companies out of money, and burying the entertainment industry. The greedy old kiddy fuckers running the show are losing control because of the internet, and laws like this are basically last-ditch efforts by a dying and obsolete system to hold on to their power.

As an American, I’m not sure what’s going on in England, but you guys need to sort your government out ASAP. You used to be the most powerful empire in the world, now you’re a joke of a country run by Orwellian leaders who simp for third world immigrants to the point where your police are not only arresting citizens who speak out against it, but also threatening to arrest the citizens of other countries. Throw Starmer out on his ass, go Guy Fawkes on Parliament, and take back your damn country from the retards intentionally flooding it with immigrants and trying to build databases of internet users.

There’s a chance I’m wrong here, so I’m interested to hear from any Brits about what’s really going on over there. Feel free to leave a comment or send us an email at [email protected] and fill a Yank in.

Angry_Jerk

Adam “The Angry Jerk” Baker is the CEO of The AJnet Organization and Editor-in-Chief of AJnet Magazine. A grizzled internet veteran of over 20 years, he writes about politics, culture, and whatever else manages to annoy him that day.

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