AngryJerk.net- There's No Turning Back Now

THERE'S NO TURNING BACK NOW

BY TEAM ZACK!

When we first started this, it seemed fun and exciting. We didn't have a care in the world, and not even the man could bring us down. But those were happier times, and now we need to face the facts. We've gone too far. This isn't like that time that we drew a moustache on that drunk guy's face, and then wrote "INSERT COCKS HERE" with an arrow pointing to his mouth. This is more like that time we waited for everyone to leave or go to sleep, and then inserted our cocks into that guy's mouth.

It's like when we were running that race, and we had no clue where it ended. But we still didn't want to lose, so we just kept running and running, until we left the racetrack. And we still came in dead last. But since we ended up in the parking lot anyway, it seemed like a pretty good time to slash the winner's tires. Not so fast now, are you?

It's too late to turn around, because if we do, the police dogs will not hesitate to rip us limb from limb. You know why? Because we went too far. Not when we decided to smuggle 20 kilos of herion acoss the Rio Grande; that plan was bullet-proof. It also wasn't when we decided to calm our nerves by shooting up in that Mexican rest area. In my opinion, we went too far when we broke the world record for high-speed border crossing, followed by the world record for high-speed collisions with a tree, and ending with a non-record breaking sprint through the woods with two bricks of herion tucked under our arms.

Some people think they've gone too far, but they don't know the meaning of the series of words. Sneaking into someone's house in the middle of the night and rifling through their shit is not going too far. Kidnapping their infant, and leaving a note that says "You're ruining my life and I hate you. I am now running away. Sincerely, Your Child" in it's crib isn't going too far either. No, you would have to raise that child yourself, using bird-shaped gloves to feed it (so it doesn't get confused, and can later be released), and then sell it to an oily Chinaman. Even then, you would just barely be over the edge.

We've long since passed up the time for thinking, and just recently we ran out of time for action. Now's the time for learning organizational skills, so we can make better use of our thinking and action time. I'm serious, because you really don't know how precious time is until you run out. And now we can't think or act, all because we wanted to just wait and see if this whole thing would blow over. Well guess what? Murder very rarely blows over.

So, here we are, over the edge, and we're all alone. Everyone may have been cheering us on while we stood on that old man's doorstep, lit that bag of dog shit, and rang the door bell. But where were they when the old man took too long to answer the door, so we kicked it open, ran inside, and threw the bag in his bed while he slept? Beats me (not unlike we beat that old man's cat).

I guess the only thing left is to man up and take responsibility for our actions. Responsibility can have many different forms. Most of the time, responsibility is a task. Other times, responsibility is a consequence. In this case, however, responsibility has taken the form of a scapegoat. And so, I would like to direct you all to that bum in the alley. He's the one you want.