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TEN THINGS NOT TO DO AT YOUR MURDER TRIAL

BY TEAM ZACK!

 

1) Shout "Niether man nor his laws will stop me from doing God's work!"

2) Grab your crotch and say "I got your contempt right here, buddy"

3) Bring your own gavel.

4) Insist that the jury is not composed of your peers, because they have never murdered anyone.

5) When the judge threatens to put you in jail for life, casually remark how you've killed a man for less.

6) Ask the prosecutor if he would like to step outside and settle this like men.

7) Say "Let the record show that the defendant is innocent and also handsome".

8) Wear a bloody shirt.

9) Have two of your buddies recover the body, and put on a Weekend-At-Bernie'sesque charade to make everyone think no murder has occured.

10) Use "That's impossible your honor. Between the hours of 1 and 3 a.m, I was banging your mom" as your alibi.

 

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