Now Accepting Guest Submissions
AngryJerk.net is now accepting guest-submitted articles.
What is the criteria? Simply put, if it's entertaining, I'll put it up. I'm not looking for some long-winded well-sourced thesis paper about why 9/11 was/wasn't an inside job. You can still write about why 9/11 was/wasn't an inside job, but it should be written in a way that's likely to entertain. Rants and satire articles are the best examples of what I'm looking for, but as I said, if it's entertaining, I'll post it.
I will not censor submissions unless they contain someone's personal information, blatant advertising of your personal website (if you have a personal website, I'll link it once when I give credit for your article), or illegal content, in which case I'll simply remove the offending info or ask you to edit it yourself then send it back. I support free speech, but I'm not going to publish an article attacking that kid in your school that you hate, nor an article about why some high profile political figure should be killed by an assassin. I will not censor submissions solely for disagreeing with me. If you want to write about why you feel Obama is the greatest man alive and it's done in a non-sleep-inducing way, I'll put it up.
Here is a list of things that will not be accepted:
-Articulz rittin by retarts who cant spel or uze propar gramer n punkshuashun
-Obvious attempts to troll me. If you've got beef, send me a hatemail or something. Parodying me is always welcome though.
-Plagiarized work. I will Google all submissions before I post them, and if I find you're swaggerjacking someone's shit, I'll drop whatever dox I have on you to the person you're stealing from.
-Articles entirely about why your best friend is a retard. Nobody cares about your personal life.
-Articles that will get me or yourself a dossier with the government. I already have one with the Secret Service, thank you very much.
Here are some ways to make this easier for all parties:
-Include the name you wish to be credited as. If you don't include another name, I will assume you want me to credit you as whatever name is associated with your email address.
-Don't use full names of yourself or other people you know. I'd actually prefer you didn't use real names at all, but if you must, simply use the first name.
-Use paragraphs. Nobody wants to read a large block of text, and I'm not your personal editor.
-Include the title of the article. I shouldn't even have to say this, really.
-If there are pictures to be used in the article, tell me where they are to be placed, and attach them with the email. This is self-explanatory.
Send all submissions to angryjerk@angryjerk.net. I don't expect a ton of submissions, so if your submission follows the guidelines, chances are I'll put it up. When I receive it, I will send you an email confirming that I did indeed receive it, and I'll give you an idea as to when you can expect to see it up. Submissions will remain the intellectual property of their creators. Should you later decide you want your article pulled, send me an email and it will be removed as soon as possible.
Get to work, people.
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