AJ'S MYTH SMASHERS: Racial Stereotypes

I'm trying to start a new feature here on AngryJerk.net similar to Myth Busters, only I want to debunk stuff that you never see on TV. My first Myth Smashers will focus on racial stereotypes. If a stereotype is true, I will use a picture of the Fonz giving it a thumbs up. If a stereotype is bullshit, I will use a picture of my ex-girlfriend, because she was the biggest load of bullshit I've ever met. Also, the guy next to her in the blue shirt and khaki pants totally isn't me. Here we go.

 

Stereotype 1: Black people like chicken

This was the easiest one to investigate, seeing as I work with a couple of black people. Here is a transcript of a thorough in-depth interview I did with one of them regarding chicken:

Me: Hey Sid, do you like chicken?

Sid: Yes.

There you have it. I have just proven that black people like chicken. Also, Colonel Sanders was obviously the owner of a plantation. I think we can all agree that KFC tastes good, once you overlook the fact that the chicken is pumped with steroids. There's no way some old white fuck made that recipe, so we can assume he stole it from his slaves, who were obviously black. If black people can make good chicken, they definitely eat a lot of it. Therefor, my verdict is:

FACT

 

Stereotype 2: Hispanics throw loud ass parties and listen to shitty music

It just so happens that next door to me, we have a family of Puerto Ricans on the first floor, and on the second floor, a lone Puerto Rican renting the apartment. My room is on the second floor, right next to the lone guy's apartment. My room also happens to be in the back of the house, where the alley is. I have never heard these people throw parties. Ever. I sometimes hear the guy upstairs working out and laughing, but the wall between us is pretty much paper-thin, which isn't his fault. The people downstairs usually listen to some kind of disco shit, which isn't that bad compared to today's music. The guy upstairs blasts rock music. While the rock music of his choice isn't something I'd download (fuck paying for music), it's not god-awful, and I can tolerate it.

However, there is one stereotype that always holds true for most Hispanics. They have noisy fucking cars. The upstairs guy doesn't have a car, but the people downstairs have two. One has the most sensitive car alarm on Earth, while the other one has something built into it that allows it to rev itself up constantly. I have to wake up every morning at 6 AM to "VROOOOOOOOOM VROOOOOOOOOOOOM BEEP BEEP BEEP VROOOOOOOOOOM VROOOOOOOOOOOOM BEEP BEEP BEEP". Fucking assholes. I wanted to key their car, but they always hear me calling them "Pencil Dick" from my room, so they'd know it was me.

Anyway, the stereotype about parties and music?

BULLSHIT

 

Stereotype 3: Asians are smart

At first, I full-heartedly believed this stereotype to be true. Years and years of hard research has supported such a claim. Then, I met Phat_Gun:

 

This man single-handedly drowned all evidence supporting the stereotype in an ocean of piss. He's a cool guy and all, but the truth is, he's fucking dumb. Here is an excerpt of something he once posted on my now-defunct forum from my now-defunct AngryJerk.tk:

"C'mon I know bush is bad. I only like him because he attacks muslims and I hate muslim. But He aint messing with chinese, althoguh I'm indonesian my background my blood is still chinese. I am not proud being indonesian cause I'm discriminated in indonesia cause of myr ace. Not all americans all moron, the politic i dun like them. If you leave U.S where r u going??? U.S is the bomb lotta hiphop outlet and shit. Canada sucksass fuck hockey fuck beaver."

When he first posted this, it literally took me 2 hours and 16 minutes to decode it. Eventually, I became an expert on Phat_Gun-ish.

He also makes songs. I don't listen to this type of music, so I will refrain from making a judgement on the quality of it. You can be the judge:

© Phat_Gun 2007

I've known him for at least 4 years, and judging from the quality of his posts on several different forums, I can safely say that the stereotype about Asians being smart is:

BULLSHIT

 

Stereotype 4: Irish people are drunks

The neighborhood I live in is predominantly Irish Catholic, although white trash and niggers are starting to move in with their gangs and that "pop a cap in yo azz cuz you looked at me wrong" bullshit. Within a 10 block radius, we have at least 15 bars. Also, I know a lot of Irish people, and they're fucking drunks. Like this bitch:

Mary Mary, quite contrary. Stay away, your face is scary. Also, you're a whore.

She's like 18 now, and this bitch is getting wasted all the time from what I hear. I also know for a fact that she's a slut. When I worked with her, she was 17. During our 8 month tenure as coworkers (I got her fired because she was being a bitch), she fucked at least 4 of the different guys that came through the place. I don't know how many she fucked who didn't work at my place. On the plus side, she gives a mean blowjob. But she's the type of girl who deserves it when you blow your load on her face.

As for Irish people being drunks? I'm Irish-Italian, and I may not be a drunk, but I like to drink. So, I'm going to have to say this stereotype is:

FACT

 

Stereotype 5: Italians are loudmouths

Don't get me started on this. My keyboard will break if I write what I think about this stereotype. I don't have a picture or a font big enough to convey to you how TRUE this stereotype is:

FACT

 

Well, that's it until next time. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go get drunk and yell phrases from the Rocky movies.