20 THINGS THAT I WOULD RATHER LISTEN TO THAN FREE BIRD

 

 

1. My only infant child being strangled to death.

2. My wife being gangraped by niggers.

3. The entire discography of Green Day.

4. My ex-girlfriend psychoanalyzing me for 4 hours.

5. Flavor Flav screaming his name in my ear.

6. A group of black girls talking (READ: hooting like chimpanzees) to each other.

7. My mother nagging me about how I don't call her enough.

8. Your mother nagging me about how I don't call her enough.

9. An angry swarm of hornets after I hit their nest with a stick.

10. Machine gun fire as my family is being massacred in front of me.

11. My doctor telling me that I have cancer.

12. Spiderman calling himself "Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman."

13. Bill Engvall telling us about his wife.

14. An angsty 15 year old telling me how bad his life is.

15. Lil' Wayne.

16. Life advice from Dr. Phil.

17. Barack Obama talk about hope and change.

18. Gilbert Gottfried singing the national anthem.

19. Bye Bye Bye

20. ANYTHING BUT THIS GODAWFUL FUCKING SONG.

Freebird is the most annoying song in the fucking world, and I wish the radio station would stop playing it every single day.