The Columbine Shooters Are My Heroes

 

Let's face it. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold did the world a huge favor when they killed 13 people and injured 24 of them. Most of the people were assholes anyway. I know this for a fact because Reb and VoDKa (their nicknames) would never kill someone unless they deserved it.

People make fun of them and call them mean names like "Emo pussies" and "scum of the Earth," but I know better. Eric and Dylan were actually the second coming of Christ. That's right assholes. That was divine judgement unleashed upon a bunch of fake ass Christians. And they're going to come back a third time. And a fourth time. And a fifth time. And a- well, you get the idea.

On this one webforum I go to, people are mean to me because I like them and think they're totally rad. So they made a bunch of fake accounts and posted mean things about me that almost made me cry. But then I realized the truth: THESE PEOPLE ARE JUST JEALOUS OF ERIC AND DYLAN'S ASS-KICKERY.

And a few other people made fun of me too. They called me hurtful names like "dumb ass" and "fat fuck" and "fagot." Oh yeah? Well sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. So, na-na na-na boo-boo to you!

Christians say they went to Hell for killing people. That's bullshit. They're in Heaven right now fucking the Virgin Mary and Terry Schiavo, doggy-style:

I was going to use Mother Teresa instead of Terry Schiavo, but that would be going too far.

So all you Reb and VoDKa haters out there can lick my jism from your mom's pussy.

Bitch, what?