M.M.O.'S BLOW SHIT OUT OF MY A.S.S.

Submitted by Brextor

 

I've fucking had it with these MMO's. None of them are ever as good as they say! Vindictus? Get that shit out of here. Perfect World? if it's so fucking perfect then why do I hate it? Toontown? I punched the last person who mentioned that in front of me. He now plays Toon Town attached to an IV and cripple from the waist down.
 
You know bullshit that claims to be FREE TO FUCKING PLAY!?  There's one glaring flaw in that system.... NOTHING IN IT IS FUCKING FREE! This micro transaction bullshit they try to pull. Like this shitty online dungeon crawler, Dungeon Fighter (Grossly uncreative name), you have to pay for costumes. That's right, you have to pay like 72 dollars for dark angel emo wings, red glasses, and some bullshit giant laser cannon that does half the damage of my damned bullets. Those games are not fun to PvP in. Here I am just a guy with a normal character then out of BUTT FUCKING NOWHERE I was forced to challenge this level 70 basement dwelling ass hat with a pet and proceeds to kick my ass in 2.68 seconds. Real fair Nexon. Real. Fucking. Fair. It's a conspiracy anyway. We actually end up paying more for the so called free gameplay but to stand any fighting chance whatsoever in these free to play games you have to spend more on premium items and services than what you would if you subscribe with a monthly fee. Real disgusting move. Money hungry assholes.
 
The one company that's the absolute worst is none other than Zynga. They get a prize. MY TWO FEET UP THEIR TIGHT ASS RECTUM! Seriously? What is this Farmville bullshit where I have to WAIT for anything to grow. Which can take an upwards of a week. Then they punish you if you forget like a normal human being by wilting your crops like two afters after they're finish growing!? WHAT THE FUCK!? Did you know that some people actually kill their babies over this crap? No, I'm fucking serious! I got proof! http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20021079-504083.html. I think I've just lost 12% more respect in humanity. No wait nevermind, I just remembered that I've hated it since I was six. Huh, weird.
 
Then, there are the behemoths known as Paid Subscription Games. World of Warcraft, Star Trek, Star Wars, Rift, DC Universe Online. ALL COMPLETE FUCKING HORSE SHIT! They all claim to be the "BES SHIT EVAH! GAME OF THE MOTHAFUCKING YEER! SHOOSH YAH BITCH NIGGA ASSES!" Then the dumbasses who clearly never even seen a girl rave and rant going ape shit because it's the next big thing. Even if they're paid subscription, they're never any better than "Free" to play games. You take 3 WEEKS to grind levels just to get some stupid ass magic staff that shoots like level 56 magic or some shit I don't know. 
 
I've also noticed that these nerds act like the dumbasses who jump between pop artists. Here I shall simulate a typical conversation I was listening in my ninth grade class two years ago in a computer graphics class. The nerds to whom I will refer to Dumbfuck and Gullible.
 
Dumbfuck: Dude, what level is your orc whatever shit on WOW?
Gullible: HAH! DUMBFUCK! YOO SO STOOPID, GUILD WARS IS BETTAH BEECUS IT'S FREE!
Dumbfuck: Holy shit seriously!? Damn! But nothing is better than World of Warcraft!
Gullible: *Furiously masturbates to pictures of that chick on the box of Guild Wars 2*
 
I rest my case. You're all dumbasses and I'm smarter.