Fighting In Iraq For Our Freedom, And Other Myths About US Troops

It's that time of the year again. The time when you hear the sob stories from U.S. troops, and their mentally-challenged supporters. I do get tired of bashing on these people, but no one seems to get it:

 

THE UNITED STATES MILITARY IS NOT INFALLABLE.

 

Seriously people. Stop treating the soldiers like they're fucking gods. I hate how people just pull shit out of their ass to glorify these guys. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate the troops, or wish them all dead or any of that bullshit. I just think that they're human beings, and as such deserve to be treated no different than any other person. A little boy was raped, burned, and mutilated, and we don't hear about it on the news. But five soldiers get blown up by a suicide bomber (something that happens every fucking day now) and it's the highlight of the day on CNN, right after the custody battle for Anna Nicole Smith's kid. Speaking of that, here's a simple solution: Give the kid to Michael Jackson. It would be the biggest "fuck you" to the two idiots for wasting the courts' time by bickering over it, and the media would have a field day with the story.

I decided to make a list of all the bullshit excuses I hear for why the troops should be treated like gods.

1. They're over in Iraq fighting for our freedom.

Bull-fucking-shit. How exactly are they fighting for our freedom by fighting an insurgency (which they caused) and toppling another country's oppresive regime? Was there some sort of secret plot formulated by Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda to invade America and conquer us? If so, I think the people deserve to know, don't you? Other than that, I can't possibly see how they're fighting for our freedom by invading some country on the other side of the world. If you have a valid explanation to this, feel free to email me (email located in About section.)

 

2. They put their lives on the line every day so you have the right to trash talk them.

I'm too lazy to write another response to this, so see my response for number one. It's basically the same.

 

3. They're only doing what they're told to do. They have no say in the matter.

This is probably the only excuse I hear that comes close to being a valid reason to respect them (but not worship them like gods). True, they really don't have a choice where they're sent. But the matter of it is, if maybe even 50% of the military told the Pentagon "Fuck you, we aren't fighting this bullshit war," the government really couldn't do much. The military contains more than a million people, possibly even two million. We'll go with the lowest number of soldiers, and say there are one million. If even 50% of the soldiers chose not to go, that would be 500,000 people that would have to be court-martialled, and jailed. There's no way the government would risk depleting its' army by that many people. Then pussy ass countries like Mexico could walk all over us (although they do that already by having our government prevent the border guards from shooting their asses when they're sneaking across the border). The sad fact of it is, most military members are brainwashed to a point where they give up all their free will, rendering them to be nothing more than tools. And even if the government was dumb enough to jail half of it's military, the military has the weapons. If they really wanted to, they could level Washington and take over, which I guess would suck pretty hard for the average Joe. On second thought, the military is probably better off being a bunch of tools.

 

4. They're fighting guys who torture their own people.

Yes, because the U.S. Army would never even dream of torturing people:

Oops, my bad. You weren't supposed to see those.

 

5. They leave behind their wife and kids, and don't get to spend holidays with their family.

First, let's start off with the wife and kids.

You join the Army, full-well knowing that you risk dying in a war (although sometimes the recruiter is a fucking dickwad and outrights lies to you by saying you won't get shipped off). Why in fuck's name would you decide to make an emotional commitment to a woman, let alone have a fucking kid, when you won't see them for months or years on end, and have a high risk of dying? What kind of sick motherfucker would get his wife pregnant knowing that he runs the risk of being sent to Assramistan or some other third-world shithole in the middle of the desert, and being blown up by Aladdin and the jihadi jackasses in al-Gayda?

I guess it really doesn't matter in the long run. After all, growing up fatherless doesn't really hurt a child, right? And hell, the mother can always find a new lover, say, me. I mean, have you SEEN some of these army wives? Fucking smoking. I guess it's true that hot women like dumb guys.

And as for not being home for the holidays, here's a simple solution: DON'T JOIN THE ARMY. You made the choice to go die for your government. Which leads me to my next one.

6. The soldiers are fighting for our country.

And how exactly are they fighting for our country? Did Joe Schmoe give the order for them to go over to the Middle East and chase down some asshole (whom WE trained, mind you) that blew up some buildings, something our government probably brought on by funding those oppressive governments, not to mention giving them weapons of mass destruction (we sold Saddam Hussein the chemical weapons he used on the Kurds, the same thing he was executed for, go figure), and funding and supporting Israel (probably the only country they hate more than America). My point is that WE did not give the orders to go over there. The government did. The majority of Americans want the troops out of Iraq. The people make up the country, right? So in actuality, the troops are fighting for our GOVERNMENT, not our country.

7. I support the troops, but not the war.

For those of you with IQs higher than 70, the reason this doesn't make sense should be obvious. But in case you're slow, I'll explain.

The whole idea of the army is to fight wars in other countries, and defend our country from foreign invasion. We're not defending our country from foreign invasion by being somewhere else, so we're obviously fighting a war in another country. Therefor, by fighting in Iraq, their job is to fight a war.

Now, when you say you support the troops, but not the war, you are effectively saying "I support the troops, but not what they do." So how can you support the troops, yet not support them? Their job is fighting the war, and you don't support that. So how are you supporting them? You can say you wish they were brought back home (something that will never happen in our lifetimes), or that they aren't killed. That would make more sense. I'll admit it. I DON'T support the troops. I don't wish them dead or anything, or hate their guts. I just don't support what they're doing. It would be contradictory to say I support the troops if I don't support what they are doing.

I'm tired of writing this, seriously. I don't even have a barbeque to go to. I got invited to one with a coworker, but I turned it down so I could sulk in my room and write bullshit on the internet that nobody cares about. My mom just got home from the shore ten minutes ago, and she's already throwing a temper tantrum like a fucking three year old. Sometimes I pray she just dies.