I Should Move To The UK

More Ranting About American Women

The other day, I asked out this half-decent-looking girl at my work. She turned me down. But it's not the fact she turned me down as much as it is the REASON she turned me down. "I don't date white guys." Bitch, say what? "White guys whine too much." Are you fucking serious? You're probably assuming this girl is black or Puerto Rican, right? I'll let my buddy Lex Luthor help me out here:

 

 

The bitch was white. I mean, seriously dude. What the fuck? A white bitch who doesn't date white guys? I later found out her boyfriend was some 34 year old Mexican guy. Damn border-hoppers. First, they steal our jobs. Then, they steal our tax dollars through Welfare. Now, they're stealing our women too! Will it never end?! I was tempted to do a Carlos Mencia routine in front of her, but Gruntilda came in. If you've read my "Bein' a Busboy Ain't Easy" article, you'll know all about how facing Gruntilda is a test for all the new busboys/girls. Long story short, this girl failed the test. Sure, I might have sabatoged her by telling her to give Gruntilda Splenda instead of Sweet and Low on the side with her hot tea with lemon. But let's not play the blame game, m'kay?

Anyway, white girls being prejudice against white guys is an alarmingly increasing trend in America. It also enforces the fact that American women are nothing more than slutty bitches. Whenever I say this, people call me a racist. "AJ U DONT APPROVE OF INTERRACIAL DATING UR PREDJUDICE OMG!!!!!11111" I never said I didn't approve of interracial dating.

See, in my book, there's a difference between a nigger and a black person. The following picture explains the differences between a nigger and a black person:

 

 

On the left, we have the epitome of black "culture," the ghetto thug, or as I call them, niggers. On the right, we have Martin Luther King Jr., one of the most famous black rights activists of all time. You wouldn't see MLK "poppin' a cap in whitey's azz yo" or "jammin' to Tupac." He's probably in Heaven right now saying to himself "I wish I never stood up for these stupid niggers. Now how long did you say Tina Turner had, God?"

YES I SAID IT! I FUCKING SAID IT!

The point I was trying to make was I don't care if a white girl dates a black guy, but when they decide to only date niggers (again, read the above description) just to shock their surrounds or piss off their dads, it's just slutty. Besides, we all know how ghetto thugs treat their women. Just listen to any rap album.

Anyway, why is it American women are only attracted to the clinically retarded? I wish I lived in the United Kingdom. If I went to the UK, I'd be a sex god. I take one step off the plane, and I'm up to my neck in hot British poontang. I'm not saying British women are easy (okay, Lisa?), I'm just remarking how most British women I know seem to be attracted to smart guys (<3 Lisa). Now that I mentioned my British sweetheart twice in one sentence, I think it's safe to say she thinks I'm a creepy weirdo. I feel like that Cyraka guy (TBFPITU joke, LOL).

It's true though. American women don't like smart guys. They want a guy who's hung like a horse, and has the intelligence of one too. I speculate that this is because any guy with the slightest trace of intellect wouldn't let these slitches get away with half the shit they pull (Like you dumping me over not getting a driver's license, Lauren. I know you read this site, and so does your pothead wigger boyfriend.)

Anyway, I'm making plans to visit the UK this summer. Hopefully during the Fourth of July. Americans have no right celebrating the day their forefathers declared their freedom from tyranny if they're too fucking lazy to fight for it now. If George Washington were here, he'd probably use his dentures to play a really mean prank on George W. Bullshit and Dickhead Cheney, which would probably consist of the dentures taking a bite out of their asses.

Now, a REAL hero is Guy Fawkes. This man tried to blow up Parliament and King James back in 1605. Unfortunately, he was caught. Since then, no man has ever had the balls to attempt such a feat, except Osama bin Laden, and he's a puppet for the American government, so he doesn't count. Americans could learn a thing or two from Guy Fawkes.

BRB, FBI.

Okay, now that that's settled, I just have one more thing to say.

Fuck American women. You're a bunch of slitches, and deserve to be stuck with the braindead idiots who abuse you. When America fucks itself back into the Stone Age because the intelligence level has dropped drastically, I'll be sitting in England with my incredibly hot and smart British wife, and my genius son (who will be the future Prime Minister of Britain). And we'll all be laughing our asses off about "those bloody Yanks."