EL EPICO GRANDE

The Story of How AJ Ate 12 Tacos

 

One day, AJ, Rotten Tom, and SHARRRONNN! were hanging out at Rotten Tom's house. It was a fine Wednesday afternoon. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, niggers were hooting and hollering, and Puerto Ricans were blasting their shitty music. All was right in the city.

Then, AJ felt a rumbling from within his stomach. It had been several hours since he had last ate, and boy was he hungry! AJ turned to Rotten Tom. "Hey man," AJ asked, "What are we doing about dinner?" "I dunno," replied Tom. "I'm actually kinda in the mood for Taco Bell."

AJ's 12 inch penis became fully erect. Taco Bell! AJ had not indulged in the scrumptious taste of Taco Bell since the downfall of a certain relationship, six or seven months prior. What a lying bitch she had been! Reflecting on the duration of the relationship, which in retrospect seemed more like a prison sentence than anything else, AJ was uncertain of what had been truth and what had been lies.

As AJ's mind began to delve into the role of a certain individual whom his ex-girlfriend claimed was her automechanic, he was brought back to Earth by Rotten Tom. "Dude, are you thinking about torturing that mechanic again?" "No," responded AJ honestly. Indeed, AJ hadn't gotten that far in his thoughts yet. Many a time he had fantasized about bringing the mechanic to the brink of death, only to revive him and repeat the process ad infinitum until he grew bored, which would be when he'd probably dress the cocksucker up in a Ku Klux Klan outfit and leave him for dead in the middle of the ghetto. However, this had not been one of those times.

"Where's the nearest Taco Bell again?" AJ asked. "There's the one up by Welsh and the Boulevard," replied Rotten Tom, "But that's still pretty far away." AJ was no stranger to long walks. The sun was shining brightly, and the clouds in the sky were few and far between. "Fuck it," said AJ, "Let's walk." "I don't know dude," responded Rotten Tom glumly, "My phone says it's supposed to rain." Rain? Fucking gay.

AJ and Rotten Tom mulled over their other options. Public transit? At $2 for one-way bus fare, totally not worth it. Skip Taco Bell altogether? Fuck that noise. Then, Rotten Tom had an idea. "Hold up," Rotten Tom said swiftly, "I'm going to call my grandfather." Rotten Tom whipped out his phone and dialed his grandfather. After listening to a ringback tone consisting of Tupac's "Hit'em Up", a voice came on the line. "Yo what's good my nigga?" "Grandpa?" replied Rotten Tom, sounding rather confused. "Yeah, what's good Tommy Gunn?" "Hey, uh, I was wondering if we could get a ride up to Taco Bell." A female's voice was heard in the background, followed by a loud smacking noise. "BITCH I SAID SHUT YO MOUTH." Rotten Tom's grandfather yelled. "I'M TALKIN' TO MA GRANDSON!" Rotten Tom and AJ looked at each other, baffled. "Grandpa?" "Yo sorry about that. Gotsa keep ma hoes in check, know what I mean dawg?" "Yeah," Rotten Tom replied. "So about that ride..." "Yeah, sure, I got you Tommy." said Rotten Tom's grandfather. "Just ask yo Mama Dukes if she be wantin' something from T-Bell." "Uh, alright." "Aight, peace nigga." "Wait, grandpa." Rotten Tom said. "Sup?" "Um, why are you talking like a ghetto gangster?" "Why you trippin' Tommy Gunn?" CLICK. Rotten Tom's grandfather hung up.

Fuck this shit, I'm tired of typing this. Long story short, AJ (that's me) ate 12 tacos from Taco Bell on April 20, 2011. It cost him $10.80. Here's a picture of the box, a taco, and a can of Dr. Pepper:

 

Rotten Tom's neighbors applauded this feat, and SHARRRONNN!'s brother called AJ a beast. AJ then spent the rest of the night calling random phone numbers to tell them that he ate 12 tacos, before falling asleep watching random episodes of Beavis and Butthead. Oh, and he did not smoke any weed that night. Really.

Also, Jeff is a fag LOL.